[tealBumblebee]

So I was diagnosed with Bipolar (Hypomanic) not that long ago. Was told this many years ago but was "confirmed" with current therapist.

Anyways, life has been good, calm and stable for the last few weeks. I feel like my depression is moving away now (the reason I started therapy) and while I had a hypomanic episode like a month ago ( I know it was hypomanic now but didn't until T pointed it out) I haven't been noticeably hyper since. I generally don't even acknowledge myself as "bipolar".

I've been going through some T issues, and considering a break. Well we talked about how i've been feeling pleasant lately - been reacting to things calmly, haven't been si'ing for like two weeks, etc. and T asked

"...well the test showed you were bipolar blah blah blah. Is it possible that this good mood you're in is part of a hypomanic episode?"

Naturally, I was like ".........No. I'm actually feeling less unstable, and more baseline."

She moved on from the subject but now my mind is racing with even more questions.

As a T - shouldn't she know the difference? Am I assuming because I'm not having a "self proclaimed hyper moment" that i'm not hypomanic? Can you be hypomanic and stable? Being bipolar - is it possible for you to be not depressed, not manic just freaking normal? Am I unaware that i'm "hypomanic" and "impulsively" (as opposed to really) want to take a break from therapy? She planted a bad seed in my head (unintentionally im sure - i think ).

I guess I just want to know is it possible to not be hypomanic OR depressed - just content with life, even if its not really that often?

[BipolaRNurse]

You bet it's possible. Your T shouldn't be suggesting that there's something wrong with a normal, baseline mood, although you do realize that as an outsider, she may see something that you're not (bipolars tend to miss the subtle signs that we're ramping up). Good, mellow moods are not pathological.....they just are, and we need to enjoy them because we fluctuate so much.

[A Red Panda]

Of course it's possible that you're baseline.

But each of our hypomanias or manias manifest differently.

Like, mine? I'm quite stable. I'll make stupid decisions, but nothing that's going to get me into trouble and nothing that will mess up my life. From what I've read, one of the differences between bp1 and bp2 is that the hypomanias don't cause a severe impairment to life.

If you and your T are aware of what your symptoms are, then watch out for them. Like.... I can tell I'm going into an up when I don't sleep much, have tons of energy despite that, and want to go out every single night and never want to stay at home. I'll also start a bunch of new projects. I don't tend to pay attention to if I'm having racing thoughts or if my speech gets quicker - because I can have those from anxiety or just in a normal good mood today. (And the energy increase HAS to be combined with sleeping a lot less for me to be assured that it's hypomania). It's different for everyone though.

one of my clues for hypomania my T sees has to do with my speech (faster) and the subject matter, if I am irritated in general but especially with my husband and talking about that a lot and especially if I am talking a lot with my hands. (how many times did I hit the potted plant with my right hand) Those are behavioral clues, but she's seen me for 6 years so she knows what to look for. Otherwise yes it is possible to be baseline for a long time. I fluctuate but usually in small degrees that are caught. If there's a med change I see my T every 2 weeks and pdoc in 4. Otherwise I go every 3 weeks to T. and 2 months to pdoc and I've been ok since June. I"m watching myself right now because Sept/Oct always seems to be a bad time for me.

[ultramar]

It sounds like you're stable, but your therapist is overly on the look out for bipolar symptoms. I think it's unfortunate to pathologize mood, when you're actually doing well.

I'm not sure I understand the diagnosis: 'hypomania.' Do you mean Bipolar II or is it some sort of tendency towards hypomania without the full diagnosis? Have you consulted a psychiatrist about the diagnosis and medication?

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by ultramar

It sounds like you're stable, but your therapist is overly on the look out for bipolar symptoms. I think it's unfortunate to pathologize mood, when you're actually doing well.

I'm not sure I understand the diagnosis: 'hypomania.' Do you mean Bipolar II or is it some sort of tendency towards hypomania without the full diagnosis? Have you consulted a psychiatrist about the diagnosis and medication?

I don't know. I just assumed Bipolar II, I didn't really want to talk about it after that session. I took the Millon Test, and she didn't want to give me the results physically (for fear that I would self loathe - she said I do that enough on my own; she even wrote a shorter handed version and decided to just keep it in my file instead lol). So I don't know. We were going to talk about it the next session, but a more serious (to me) topic came up, and now I officially don't want to talk about it anymore.

In regards to medication - I told her before I first came that is not an option for me. Period. Also, i've supposedly been "Manic Depressive" since I was in middle school (school mandated a psychiatrist visit in order to be allowed to return). But I say that to say, i've done fine without medication my whole life - no need to start now...

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by emomom

one of my clues for hypomania my T sees has to do with my speech (faster) and the subject matter, if I am irritated in general but especially with my husband and talking about that a lot and especially if I am talking a lot with my hands. (how many times did I hit the potted plant with my right hand) Those are behavioral clues, but she's seen me for 6 years so she knows what to look for. Otherwise yes it is possible to be baseline for a long time. I fluctuate but usually in small degrees that are caught. If there's a med change I see my T every 2 weeks and pdoc in 4. Otherwise I go every 3 weeks to T. and 2 months to pdoc and I've been ok since June. I"m watching myself right now because Sept/Oct always seems to be a bad time for me.

Lol to you hitting the potted plant.

The time that I was hypomanic that I mentioned earlier was THE most talkative session (to the point that I was cutting T off - she handled that well, btw) I have had to date. That week before I had so many rapid thoughts in my head and plans to make a budget and write out vocab words to study, etc. that I decided to "impulsively" spend my last ten bucks to go to the thrift store (dropped everything to go) to buy a large photo frame just so that I could repaint it, convert it to a chalkboard, decorate etc. SOLELY because I needed something to write my thoughts out on to keep up with them - using a pen and paper never even crossed my mind.

I wasn't "diagnosed" at that time. So I think neither one of us really know the early signs, it just comes when it comes.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

You bet it's possible. Your T shouldn't be suggesting that there's something wrong with a normal, baseline mood, although you do realize that as an outsider, she may see something that you're not (bipolars tend to miss the subtle signs that we're ramping up). Good, mellow moods are not pathological.....they just are, and we need to enjoy them because we fluctuate so much.

I agree. I think thats why I got irritated. But then, my thoughts were like "...well what if..."

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Of course it's possible that you're baseline.

But each of our hypomanias or manias manifest differently.

Like, mine? I'm quite stable. I'll make stupid decisions, but nothing that's going to get me into trouble and nothing that will mess up my life. From what I've read, one of the differences between bp1 and bp2 is that the hypomanias don't cause a severe impairment to life.

If you and your T are aware of what your symptoms are, then watch out for them. Like.... I can tell I'm going into an up when I don't sleep much, have tons of energy despite that, and want to go out every single night and never want to stay at home. I'll also start a bunch of new projects. I don't tend to pay attention to if I'm having racing thoughts or if my speech gets quicker - because I can have those from anxiety or just in a normal good mood today. (And the energy increase HAS to be combined with sleeping a lot less for me to be assured that it's hypomania). It's different for everyone though.

I did notice the lack of sleep thing. I read the same thing about the one and two. I don't think we're very aware right now, so that maybe where the line needs to be determined. Thanks!

[Victoria'smom]

Generally it hits me out of nowhere, everyone (even here) can tell a mile away. If you trust your T's opinion than take it with this. If not get a new T.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Generally it hits me out of nowhere, everyone (even here) can tell a mile away. If you trust your T's opinion than take it with this. If not get a new T.

I do trust her, but we are still new to each other (imo) and to this. But I definitely do trust her. I have read your posts though, bipolar can be so complex sometimes.