[naejannej]

i feel alone. i have decently supportive family and a loving boyfriend, but i feel like they just don't get me. i hate talking about bipolar or anxiety or my side effects or my symptoms because i feel like a broken record, or like theyre just not getting it. i feel like they dont understand the magnitude of my emotions or my obstacles. i know im loved, i just feel like im fighting an uphill battle. like the ground is coming out from underneath me while everyone just stands around and smiles at me.

[AnxietyGirl916]

I know how you feel. My husband is an MSW and HE doesn't even get it sometimes. He really just can't relate. He doesn't suffer from mental illness and doesn't have any family members that do either.

That being said, I think you'll find a great group of supportive, nonjudgmental people here at PC.

[naejannej]

reading the threads have already really helped me. your response helped, too, so thank you

[naejannej]

oh and nice avatar

[ultramar]

If you don't mind my asking, when we you say 'rapid cycling' (in your signature) how rapidly do you cycle?

[naejannej]

im on my 6th major cycle of mania/depression in a year although i believe i've transitioned on as little as a weekly basis before. but my pdoc goes by the biggies for diagnostic purposes i guess - its so hard to be accurate :/

Its not talked about much here but a support group that meets in your community might be helpful to you so you feel less alone, there are a few you can look up dbsa and nami are just a couple. Some even have meetings just for the family members so they get information and support as well.

I'm glad you found this support group to be helpful.

[~Christina]

I don't think its possible to expect family members to really understand what bipolar is like ,, I mean how could they? I tend to talk to my Bipolar friends I have made here.. They get it, They understand ,, We can vent to eachother .. which helps take the pressure off feeling the needs to talk to everyone else about it.

My husband knows what to look for( basic info) if I am really having a problem .. if / when they pop up he will step in and talk to me about it. But Bipolar doesnt take up much space in my marriage because I dont allow it to.

[Mr. Radio]

Hey Naejannej,

I understand how you feel. Like no matter what you think, what you do, or what you see, people have it better and don't have to deal with the difficulty. The truth is, everyone is most basically concerned with themselves, even friends. People try to understand, but they will never know what it's like to have the ground/ their entire world start caving in around them. While we can compare who has it worst, that's not the contest we should focus on.

People act concerned or smile simply because they don't know what to do. I'm guilty of doing it my myself. Understand that no matter how much ground you think you lose, you'll eventually come out on the other side. Once you hit rock bottom you can only go up. I'm using that as a you have to make an effort to climb out to of hole or learn to live in the new area that you've fallen too. I'm not sure if you're following the metaphor, but simply said "you will be better."

I like to look at earth like either heaven or hell. Music and fun interactions with people bring me to heaven and depression and feeling trapped is hell. Pray to God if you believe. If you don't, believe in yourself and remember what you tell yourself is how you present yourself. I say, good day.

[ultramar]

I think it can be as difficult for others to understand our bipolar disorder as it can be for us to understand illnesses and disorders that others struggle with. If you don't have diabetes, it's very difficult to 'get' what those who do go through. If you don't suffer from chronic pain, it's very difficult to understand what they are going through. If you don't have cancer... etc.

I don't think it's reasonable, even, to expect others to get it, much less blame them for this. I think this poses the danger of putting us in a very 'other' and/or victim roll, and this isn't helpful.

I think you can expect loved ones to *try* to understand, to be empathetic, perhaps, but to put themselves in our shoes? At the end of the day, how good are any of us at putting ourselves in the shoes of others who suffer so terribly with things we are not familiar with?

I work in healthcare, in a hospital, where I witness every kind of suffering imaginable: physical, psychological, psychiatric. It gives me perspective. Do I have it 'worse' than x, y person? It's a pointless question. And I can empathize, to a point, with my patients, but it doesn't mean I know what it's like to walk in their shoes. I think there's a kind of inherent loneliness in suffering (of all kinds); best, perhaps, to make friends with that loneliness, and not expect others to cure it for us.

[naejannej]

"I think there's a kind of inherent loneliness in suffering (of all kinds); best, perhaps, to make friends with that loneliness, and not expect others to cure it for us."

That really hit home for me, thank you.

I like the way you put that ultramar