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#101
Oct 07, 2013, 03:23 PM
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Feeling really "blah" today. I really hate my job and I want to quit so bad but I can't afford to right now. Plus, I need the health insurance. I'm taking a super long lunch today, because I can. I have a meeting later that I'll go to, but from now until then, I'm doing nothing. I'm doing just enough work to not get fired. Is that so wrong?
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[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
 Blue_Bird
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#102
Oct 07, 2013, 04:31 PM
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Oh. My. Goodness. If I could have slaughtered a few kids today... I would have.
So we did breathing exercises for the last part of the day. I'm still feeling like a stress-bucket.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Blue_Bird
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#103
Oct 07, 2013, 04:33 PM
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Down. So far down I've cried multiple times for absolutely no reason at all...and just want to curl up in a ball and die.
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| Andysmom, Anonymous45023, Blue_Bird
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#104
Oct 07, 2013, 05:29 PM
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Feeling really bad. Still ready to give up, wish pdoc appointment was now. Having a hard time dealing with this, I was already depressed now on top of that I'm stressed because I don't think I'll ever get a job which scares me. Really just having a lot of self hatred right now, not wanting to wake up in the morning. Thursday needs to come here quicker.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Anonymous200280, Anonymous45023, bumble2u
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#105
Oct 07, 2013, 11:21 PM
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I've been a little depressed lately and today I started on Latuda. It's supposed to be the new "rave". I hope it helps
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Bipolar I/Mixed Lithium 1200 Paxil 40 Latuda 20 Halcion .5 Ativan .5 
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| Blue_Bird
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#106
Oct 08, 2013, 03:12 AM
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feeling pretty depressed and empty too.
and full! still pretty full from my meal last night |
| Blue_Bird
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#107
Oct 08, 2013, 03:14 AM
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Quote:
and oops, i just noticed what i've done say i'm empty and full in the same message lol? |
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#109
Oct 08, 2013, 07:50 AM
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Depression is gone since the AD.
Still having the racing thoughts, exaggerated self image....until I look in the mirror and go...oh look, its just "me"...ugh. I don't have much money to spend or I would surely be posting about all the stuff I bought. Now I get my shoppers high at the grocery store in stead of the department store. |
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#110
Oct 08, 2013, 08:08 AM
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I want to quit!!!
Not my job though. I just want to quit from everything and go away and hide for a few weeks.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Anonymous200280, Anonymous45023, bumble2u
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 Phoenix_1
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#111
Oct 08, 2013, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
I'm in a "I hate my life" mood. It's been heading this way for a while now. I want to quit my job but I need the money and health insurance. My husband is starting a new job in a couple weeks, but it's not enough of a pay increase to quit my job. I've applied for other jobs but I'm not getting any call-backs. I feel trapped. 
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
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#112
Oct 08, 2013, 08:33 AM
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I think I feel better this morning. The day will tell the tale.
My boyfriend and I were still emailing, even though we broke up (about 5 times). (He lives in the US and I live in Canada). I broke it off for good last night, and now I feel better. I hope the calm lasts.
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin  |
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#114
Oct 08, 2013, 12:20 PM
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Hi,
I'm new here so I apologize if I'm not doing this right. You asked how I'm doing today... if you were family I'd tell you I'm "fine", but I'm not. I'm struggling again today. |
| bumble2u, lynn808
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| lynn808
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#115
Oct 08, 2013, 02:10 PM
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having a really tough night.
feeling low, depressed, emotional for no reason at all, and just... like i don't fit in bleh it sucks- so i've come on here to cheer myself up hoping 1 of you lovely people can keep me company |
| bumble2u, LadyShadow, lynn808
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#116
Oct 08, 2013, 07:28 PM
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I've decided. I'm just plain sad about breaking up with my boyfriend. Not much else is going on mood-wise. And sad is ok for now. It'll pass.
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin |
| Anonymous200280, lynn808
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#117
Oct 08, 2013, 08:18 PM
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Still feeling extremely depressed, thankfully I have an appointment on Thursday. Can't come soon enough, really need it.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
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#118
Oct 09, 2013, 03:26 AM
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deffenetly in the middle of a depressive episode, and it is killing me.
*sighs* |
| LadyShadow, lynn808
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#119
Oct 09, 2013, 03:57 AM
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Stuck in a constant loop and pattern of sleeping late and waking up late.
This life seems so pointless.
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
| lynn808, Moreta
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#120
Oct 09, 2013, 04:29 AM
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Confused today. I cant seem to get it out in my journal. Not sure what to do, but Im not distressed.
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| lynn808
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#121
Oct 09, 2013, 05:32 AM
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getting tired and also been manic for several hours now into the night...so active but also stressful. Some how I know this long manic night will end with me, being drowsy and some what irritable tomorrow ugh.
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA  for my father I think of you everyday
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| swheaton
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#122
Oct 09, 2013, 08:51 AM
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Still down, but that's to be expected. My depressive episodes always last weeks and this one is just starting. Guess I need to start looking for a therapist.
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
| Anonymous100104, swheaton
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#123
Oct 09, 2013, 08:54 AM
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I feel ok today. I only took one Geodon last night. So I'm kinda surprised I feel ok. My pdoc never called me back yesterday to tell me how to come off it, so I'm going to call him back today, and if he doesn't call me back, I guess I'll just wing it. lol.
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#124
Oct 09, 2013, 12:41 PM
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Monday I broke up with my boyfriend (again) and I felt really sad. I took 2 sleeping pills (my original dose, now cut down to 1) so I could sleep all night, and I woke up at 1 am. I was weepy all day yesterday.
I feel so much better today, calm. I know I did the right thing.
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin |
| Anonymous53876, swheaton
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#125
Oct 09, 2013, 12:50 PM
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Getting worried about my AD. Could just be my irratic sleep patterns. My T said we humans are just not meant to sleep in daylight and work in darkness.
My dreams are getting vivid again; sometimes "normal" and sometimes bizarre. I dont much care for the bizarre dreams. And I don't know if its the BP thing that gives me a heightened 6th sense or if its just natural, but damn, my body reacts to a stressful event even before I have experienced it. It happened again yesterday. I was all in a funk...felt like I had a fever, was nervous, had the shakes, couldn't sleep...and lo and behold if I don't get one of the most stressful phone calls I have had in months right as my head started hurting too. Then after it was done, I was exhausted, short of breath, and couldn't get enough sleep. So that was my day yesterday honey, how was yours? Hee hee. |
| swheaton
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