[Diane1980]

I am newly diagnosed, so I have been telling a few people about my Bipolar Disorder... A few blogs I have read say not to tell people especially in the work place, unless you really need to. Has anyone experienced being treated differently, after telling someone??

I find once I tell the person they understand me a lot better. Sometimes it takes a while, for example my best friend of all people, would not accept it. She said to my face, your not bipolar. But after a month or so, once my moods had settled down a bit I explained it to her again what Bipolar means, and she cried, and said how sorry she was for not supporting me!

My boss also did not understand at first, telling me 'get over it' or 'harden up' but now that I have explained to him a few times that it doesn't work like that, he respects me more then before. He is very good at pulling me to the side, and letting me know when my attitude is bad/or if I'm stressing too much.

So, in saying this I have not found that the people I have told, look at me differently, but I know how judgemental people can be. Before I was diagnosed people were so judging asking me 'are you on drugs' or calling me 'ditzy di' or just 'crazy'. Being able to say 'well actually I'm Bipolar', means there is a reason for how I act. Not an excuse, but a ligitimate reason.

The last thing I want is to be labelled. I never want use my Bipolar as an excuse for bad behaviour. I don't want to claim disability pensions now all of a sudden, while I am highly functioning. I don't want people to treat me differently or make exceptions for me. I just want respect and to be able to change the minds of those who don't understand.

But still, I feel guilty about telling so many people. I don't know why. A part of me thinks 'do they really need to know? Will they still respect me? How do I regain trust/respect after having an episode?' A voice inside tells me to stop mentioning it to people, telling them, talking about it openly. But then again another voice says, I can not change who I am, and to walk tall and proud - reduce the stigma around mental health. After all I wouldn't be having this delema, if it was a more visible medical condition.

So, I would like to know other people's views on this. Do you tell people about your Bipolar?

with me, i used to not say anything. people would usually point something out about my personality, then ask.. and if they asked, i'd say so

now though it's 1 of the first things i say to people

Just to clear up Diane, be careful not to avoid confusion with your bipolar by using the term BPD as most people with borderline personality disorder like to use that tag more.. Remember to state it as bipolar.

[Diane1980]

oh, ok thanks! that's a bit embarassing!

Not really, don't worry about it

[A Red Panda]

I tell people if I think I can trust them with it, but it isn't really a necessity to me. I'm pretty functional even at my worst so I don't worry about that stuff. But I don't like to lie or pretend more than I do already, so I'll explain it to people.

But my boss? No. They don't have any need to know so I am not risking the stigma.

[doglover1979]

I am pretty open about being with Bipolar with friends and family at this point. I have been hospitalized twice, both times outpatient, but they all know. There is really no need to hide it. Most family members have no problem with it, since most of us have had some "issues" at some point. My friends don't seem to be bothered. There is much more education these days.

I was forced to tell people at work about being Bipolar, that is something I will never do again no matter the circumstances. After my first hospitalization, my boss let it get around through the rumor mill what happened with me. Then she suggested that I be open with my coworkers about it. I really should have quit and sued her, because the outcome over time was really sh*tty. Never again.

I am not at all "out" about my BPD or PTSD. Borderline is way too stigmatized and too complex to explain to most people without a few very long conversations. The nature of my PTSD is private. I don't talk about it with anyone except my therapist and my boyfriend.

I tell very few people about my diagnosis, not that I'm hiding it, but it isn't particularly a factor in most aspects of my life that pertain to the rest of the world.

My immediate supervisors and teachers I work closely with know as I've had to miss school on a couple of occasions over the years and they had to help out, but that wasn't a problem -- all very supportive and helpful. A very small group of personal friends know -- again very supportive and helpful. Closest family know, but not the whole extended family.

[AnxietyGirl916]

I've only told friends (who kinda already knew), family, my supervisor (who is more like a mom to me) and a few trusted coworkers. I blog about being bipolar, but it's pretty anonymous. I have to be careful who knows because I'm a social worker and I don't want to lose my job. Plus, as Red Panda mentioned, I'm pretty functional, even at my worst. I've only been outpatient hospitalized once and that was when I was 19. I'm 31 now, so a long time ago.

Everyone in my life knows. I have been in and out of hospital that many times, had that many bad reactions to medications and had that many panic attacks or crying bouts in public that its a bit impossible not to.

If I had my time again, I would not tell a soul!

[ultramar]

To tell you the truth, the only person I feel truly comfortable talking about it with is my pdoc. He gets it (from his pdoc point of view) and I don't have to explain myself in the way you would have to with others.

I know and you've made clear, that you're not telling people so as to use it as an excuse, but in my case, one of several reasons why I don't tell people is the *perception* that I may be telling them in order to use it as an excuse. The main reason, though, is that I really don't think others (except loved ones, in some cases) *can* get it, and I don't expect them to, so don't go there.

You describe support from your boss, and it's good to have that, but I know if it were me, I'd be afraid that he/she would interpret any 'bad attitude' I might have, or other behavior or mood, as bipolar. When the fact is, is that I could experience and exhibit all kinds of behaviors and moods at work (and elsewhere) that have nothing to do with bipolar. I just wouldn't want someone always interpreting my behavior and moods through the bipolar lens, when this is just not the reality, and this is part of others not 'getting it' that concerns me.

I experience episodes generally a couple of times a year --the rest of the time, it's just 'me' (the good, the bad, and the ugly!). And I don't want 'me' always being seen as bipolar.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by doglover1979

I am pretty open about being with Bipolar with friends and family at this point. I have been hospitalized twice, both times outpatient, but they all know. There is really no need to hide it. Most family members have no problem with it, since most of us have had some "issues" at some point. My friends don't seem to be bothered. There is much more education these days.

I was forced to tell people at work about being Bipolar, that is something I will never do again no matter the circumstances. After my first hospitalization, my boss let it get around through the rumor mill what happened with me. Then she suggested that I be open with my coworkers about it. I really should have quit and sued her, because the outcome over time was really sh*tty. Never again.

I am not at all "out" about my BPD or PTSD. Borderline is way too stigmatized and too complex to explain to most people without a few very long conversations. The nature of my PTSD is private. I don't talk about it with anyone except my therapist and my boyfriend.

I think Bipolar is way too difficult to explain. I think for most people it's about mood 'swings' (now I'm super happy, next hour I'm depressed), and I think it's very hard for the general population to understand the episodic nature of the illness. Hence the problem of people thinking every 'mood' (down, happy, irritated) is part of one's bipolar. Not the case, hard to get through to people.

[~Christina]

I have always been very careful who I tell of my BP. Other than my friends on here ... less than 10 people know and that includes my Pdoc and T .. I just see no reason to tell everyone and I would never disclose it to a employer.

Just my 0.02 cents

Originally Posted by ultramar

I think Bipolar is way too difficult to explain. I think for most people it's about mood 'swings' (now I'm super happy, next hour I'm depressed), and I think it's very hard for the general population to understand the episodic nature of the illness. Hence the problem of people thinking every 'mood' (down, happy, irritated) is part of one's bipolar. Not the case, hard to get through to people.

Very very very hard to get through to people!

Sometimes I am sad, it doesnt mean I am depressed, sometimes I am energetic, it doesnt mean I am hypo. Sometimes I do turn into an over emotional girl, doesnt mean I am having a bipolar episode.

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm openly bipolar now, but only because I couldn't hide it. I was very unstable for a long time there, and it was just too obvious. Then this year I lost my high-paying, high-level, high-stress job because of a mixed episode that nearly got me hospitalized, and there was no keeping THAT a secret.....once Corporate got a hold of it, it was only a matter of a few weeks until I was terminated.

Their reason was, they "couldn't" make the reasonable accommodations I required to continue in the position. As it turned out they did me a favor, because I couldn't take the stress anymore and still can't. So I went to work at a place where I'm well-known and well-thought-of, they know I'm BP but are at least willing to work around my limitations.

In the meantime, I talk openly about it because that is the only way we'll ever get rid of the stigma. No one thinks twice about a person who's chronically ill with MS or lupus, why should we have to hide out and be ashamed because our disorder originates in our brains??

[mzunderstood79]

Like my husband told me, you don't have to tell anyone......

[wildflowerchild25]

I'm very tight lipped about it. I don't have friends really so that solves that. I have only told one person at work and that was after I new her for most of the school year and knew she didn't gossip. I would NEVER tell anyone else, not even my big boss. He knows something is up but I will need be specific. My family knows of course because I've been hospitalized so often. But we don't talk about it. I was humiliated when I went in this year and my mother in law found out. I've found that most people just can't understand and I'd rather they didn't know.

[Lillyleaf]

People who are close to me know:

I have a friend who is Bipolar II and she tells everyone because she says she wants to warn them in advance. "I want to give them a warning letting them know what they are getting into".

For me it's a lot different. I don't tell people openly, but at the end of the day it is such a big part of who I am it's not reasonable to not tell people. If you saw someone "acting up" or being weird. Maybe even doing things that are really annoying or weird, ask yourself: If you knew that there was something wrong with them would you be more understanding? Would you want to know?

Sometimes though, it's nice to have an easy answer. At my internship I got called aside and someone said I was rolled my eyes at another worker. I didn't have to tell them about my medication or anything, I just had to say "sometimes I get overwhelmed when there is too much information to take in--I might have been acting strangely and got missread". You don't have to tell people the story or the label. Just try telling them what they need to know

I wish you luck! Just don't be ashamed.

~Lilly

[Diane1980]

Where do you blog? I would like to start a blog.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

[Blue_Bird]

Only 4 very close people in my life know. Other than that I don't tell most people about it.

[BlueInanna]

Heck no, I don't. Only about 3 people I trust.
But the town has many names for me... Oh well.

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by DylanP

Just to clear up Diane, be careful not to avoid confusion with your bipolar by using the term BPD as most people with borderline personality disorder like to use that tag more.. Remember to state it as bipolar.

Which you can understand my utter confusion why any one would consider telling people they work with they have the worst personality disorder that is known to mankind, it's basically the catch all for what every can go wrong, does go wrong

"Hello, nice to meet you, you look ok this minute but since I have BPD I may think your utterly evil and verbally rip you to shreds in another hour"

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

Which you can understand my utter confusion why any one would consider telling people they work with they have the worst personality disorder that is known to mankind, it's basically the catch all for what every can go wrong, does go wrong

"Hello, nice to meet you, you look ok this minute but since I have BPD I may think your utterly evil and verbally rip you to shreds in another hour"

You just gave me a good belly roll giggle, feels like the first time in days! Now I'm in a lovely maniacal laughter & can't stop - maybe it's that 1/4 Xanax bar I just tried? LOLOLOL ..... Hope I don't wake the kids!!

[Cyclowolf]

I usually don't, the couple of times I have I either was never spoken to again or just brushed of as "You're too young to have anything wrong with you!" or "How can you be depressed? You have your whole life ahead of you!" Just the things you want to hear when you feel like crap.

[doglover1979]

Originally Posted by Supanova

Very very very hard to get through to people!

Sometimes I am sad, it doesnt mean I am depressed, sometimes I am energetic, it doesnt mean I am hypo. Sometimes I do turn into an over emotional girl, doesnt mean I am having a bipolar episode.

I guess what I mean when I said they understand is that people for the most part no longer think you are some hopeless psycho. If they know you well, and know you take care of yourself, for the most part they don't judge.

That is my experience, anyway.

I TOTALLY get what you are saying, though!

Being watched like that is annoying.