How to make friends

I have had many friends come and go in the past. Right now, I have no friends. My therapist says I need to do the activities I like with friends who have the same interests, because my husband and I are so opposite. Yet, I am hesitant, and it seems so difficult to find some friends. I really wish there was a support group in my area for people with Bipolar. It would help to know and talk to some real life people who struggle like I do...

Anyway, I have a few friends, that are little more than coworkers. But I don't know if I trust them enough to tell them I'm Bipolar...

Has anyone had any positive feedback after telling friends you were Bipolar??

Also, does anyone have any tips on how to make friends? I feel so adolescent asking this, but I have had the tendency to withdraw from friends and isolate myself, and this only ends those friendships.

I have a hard time making friends because of my Dx too. I also get pretty paranoid about what others are thinking about me.

Try suggesting outings with people you think you'll like hanging out with. I've gone out for drinks with co-workers and we've got along well. I've been invited to several after work things like that and I finally went a couple weeks ago and had a good time. Social anxiety normally prevents me from doing stuff like that, but I take an anti-anxiety med and force myself out of my comfort zone.

This. Getting to know people who you value as friends outside of your normal working environment is the first step to forming really deep friendships. Most of my friends come from work/university/online (you'd be surprised how many deep online friendships I've made that have become real-life friendships)- there's no need to actively go out and pursue friends, just make an effort to talk to people you really like in your free time and see how it goes.

On the other hand, it is good to go out (and sometimes force yourself to go out, it's very easy to isolate) and actively pursue your interests which will most likely lead to you meeting more like-minded people.

Finally, if you want to tell someone you have any DX, I've found the best time is when I'm relaxed with a friend after a day of doing something and we're just chatting about our lives and personal things. Just see how the conversation is going, and if you feel like it's appropriate then casually mention it. I find, if you don't make a big deal out of it, then the person you're talking to will not think it's so much of a big deal either. I've only ever had 1 bad reaction- and that person is well out of my life now!

Hugs, and thinking of you <3

I've met new friends by using the meetup.com website. There are tons of different groups on there broken down in categories of interest ie hiking, biking, cards, women's groups, etc. You should check it out.

I've met new friends by using the meetup.com website. There are tons of different groups on there broken down in categories of interest ie hiking, biking, cards, women's groups, etc. You should check it out.

I have a tough time finding friends as well. One way I've discovered to meet people is to do volunteer work. You can commit to as much or as little as you have time for and you will meet like minded people.

These are all amazing comments definitely worth giving a shot.

If you are in the US look up nami.org or dbsa for support groups in your community.

I don't have advice on making friends, but I would say that I prefer to keep my diagnosis out of my relationships/friendships (for the most part). I feel like as soon as the cat is out of the bag, others will from then on see me through that lens (often a distorted one, because the vast majority of people do not 'get' bipolar disorder). I especially don't want anyone interpreting any mood I may be in, behavior I'm exhibiting, etc., as 'my bipolar.' I feel like this is so limiting. Constraining.

Others' not knowing my diagnosis makes my interactions with people, my relationships with them freer. Most of what I do, feel, say, experience is not 'my bipolar.' It's me. And me is super-complicated, multi-faceted. And yes I have more energy some days than others, I'm more talkative sometimes, down other times, irritable at times, sometimes I have good insights, other times I'm scattered, etc., etc. And *none* of this is the Bipolar -they're just moods, etc. like anyone else has. I want to be allowed to be me, to have my moods, and my ideas and emotions, to be my psychological self unencumbered by people looking for 'bipolar' me too much of the time, by people's (understandable) ignorance regarding the illness, the stereotypes people have in their heads...

So, in brief, it's very rare that I share this.

I think a support group is a good idea. I think that's the best place (and places like here) to share struggles with bipolar disorder. I don't mind if, in that particular context, people see me through the bipolar lens. I'm there (here) about a specific part of me. With everyone else, I want it to be about *all* of me -as far as what I bring to that friendship/relationship.

I'm currently in a 'babbling mood' -so I hope this makes sense!

I agree with ultramar.

I don't tell any of my friends I have bipolar, for the simple fact they will judge me for being "bipolar" when I'm just going through moods.

The way I make friends is through online groups and through online communities like this one.

I tried volunteer work and it did get me out with people but no friendships outside of work were formed I am having a hard time with this too

I used to have a lot of friends, I'm pretty withdrawn now. I have a good friend but after I lost Megan I don't actually think I can be anyones friend. I'm scared I'll be abandoned.

Try googling Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Then add your city or state. For example there is one in my city, however I do not own a car and it meets up at 7:30 at night. But if I did have a car, I would go and make friends with others who know what I am going through.

Hi,
friends----well how do you make the distinction?
I have people I know. These people may even know of me and my being nuts. but these people, I still am not sure that they are friends. I had some friends in my life. The one friend I had here in Canada moved back to England. Every-time I had a friend they disappeared, moved state or country. I am wary of friends as it only ever hurts.
I am not a good friend as I won't stay in contact. If I do I remain quiet, they talk and it becomes me being the listening board not able to say how I feel. For me How I feel becomes obsolete compared to the needs of my friend. Who do you trust not to tell the whole town that your a basket case? That's hard. So there is family but we put on a happy coping smile for them.

I am trying, going to choir, to see maybe , there are people I know but they would not react well to me as I am in truth. So I guess, I decide not to be (have) friends. I think it would be too much trouble.

Even here I had one request but pretty sure that one would regret it. Because I have nothing to give and that moment where my ramblings might have made sense just to one individual it was all bollo**ks i am a charlatan.
How would I know the inner workings of with the universe to make everyone's life better? It's bull, what I am and people do not warm or understand me. This is it no surprise. And wrote some more but t'was sh*te

I have been trying the "Out-of-the-Closet" Bipolar approach and it is not working. There is more stigma out there than I wanted to believe. In a perfect world we could talk about our bipolar like others talk about their cancer. People seem very afraid of bipolar. I often forget the sensational side from the media because I live this each day. It's very hard to make good friends.

I appreciate everyone's response. Sorry my response is so late. But this is once again an issue for me, keeping in contact. It is one of the main barriers to me ever having a friendship progress. I think for now, I will not tell anyone (friends wise) of my diagnosis. I appreciate all of the suggestions. This is like a support group for me, to talk freely without being perceived through different lenses.

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Honestly, I don't know if I am doing this right, but I get where you're coming from so I will try to see if this is posted to you. Yes, believe it or not, a lot of people who really do care for you as a person will take the news exceptionally well, others who are afraid of the stigma of any mental health conversation will be less receptive. In my experience it was worth taking the chance to talk with the ones you believe you can trust. Good luck with all you encounter, and I will be around this site if you want someone who is also going through similar situations to talk with. I have a Bi polar 2 diagnosis.