It's complex. It was as if I was walking around with a "Get Out of Life Free" card in my pocket. My thoughts always go straight to suicide. So... I made a Get Out of Life Free card and gave it to my doctor. Like a symbol that suicide is no longer an option for me. That was my first step.

Next I pictured how I would fail at this task of killing myself and would be then at the mercy of others. I hate not being in control, so this thought works for me.

I still get depressed and suicidal. This is what I do on a practical level when things are really bad. I go into survival mode.
-I take my medications back to the pharmacy and they hold them for me. I just keep a couple of days.
-I force myself to get up in the morning and shower, dress and put shoes on. -Music is very powerful for me so I consciously switch out the sad for upbeat techno or dance music.
-I have coffee. Caffeine seems to help me when I'm low.
-Breaking a sweat also seems to help.
-I stay away from alcohol.
-I start thought blocking my inner persecutor, who gets really loud when I am down. This is hard.
-I have a sketch journal and I draw my feelings. Especially the ugly ones.
-When everything else fails I take a prn and shut down for a few hours. Sometimes it's a safety measure.
-At really bad times I call a Help Line and explain that I just need someone to talk to while my prn kicks in. That keeps them calm and gets me the support I need.

This is what I do. What do you do to survive when you are down?

When I get down I make sure I am not alone and I see my ther twice a week and my pdoc once a week to tweak meds until my mood comes back up. I have only gone as far as feeling self harm twice before, I told on myself and I admitted myself to the hospital because I knew I wasnt safe.

Originally Posted by emomom

When I get down I make sure I am not alone and I see my ther twice a week and my pdoc once a week to tweak meds until my mood comes back up. I have only gone as far as feeling self harm twice before, I told on myself and I admitted myself to the hospital because I knew I wasnt safe.

I completely agree. Thank you. I see my psychiatrist every two weeks and my therapist every week, more if I am down or up. I also have to go into hospital sometimes, but I've been in treatment for over 20 years. Feeling down is part of my illness sometimes, a part they can't completely cure. That is not everyone's experience. I'm glad you have been able to find such success in treatment. I would never recommend hiding suicidal thoughts. I'm sorry that it came across that way.

I havent had a major mood episode for a few years, so I havent needed to be too extreme in my coping.

Sleep - The first thing I tend to notice when I am low is fatigue. I have to ensure that I am getting no more than 8 hour sleep a night. If I am that tired during the day I can lay down but for no more than 2 hours. Definitely no more than 10 hours sleep within 24 hours, if I sleep more than that I am just asking for depression

Eating - depending on the level of depression I either eat a lot of sugary carb filled food or I just dont eat at all. I need to make sure I eat 3 times a day at least even if I dont feel like it. I have healthy frozen meals in the freezer for times I do not feel like cooking or preparing. It is a struggle to eat but it does make a difference to me.

Mindfulness - I practice mindfulness daily anyway, but when I am feeling a bit low I feel like I cant be bothered, theres no point etc, but there is. I always feel better after meditating, not always brilliant but always a little bit better.

Isolating - I tend to go into "hermit mode". I sit in my little hobbit hole of a house and stay inside alone all day. This is when I reach out to my support network. Call out to a mates that I am going into hermit mode and I need help to get out of it. Usually it results in invitations out to coffee, parties, just general socialising. I dont always enjoy these things but they are vital to keeping me out of dark depression.

Sunshine - When I am on the way down, as much as it is scary and hard to be outside, I really try to spend time in the sunshine, I am so blessed to live in a place with simply beautiful weather. I try to go out and read a book or just sit with the animals. Even if it is for 10 minutes it is better than nothing. Vitamin D!

Distraction - when I do get distressed, distraction is the very best technique for me. This is when the internet comes in handy. I chat to people or look at funny pictures. If my concentration is up for it I might research something I am interested in. The information doesnt tend to stay with me but I like to think it is doing some good. Online memory games etc are good distractions too.

Therapy/journaling - I do a lot of journaling, CBT and my own forms of therapy. It helps me sort the thoughts, what are negative and unhelpful/untrue thoughts and what are helpful and constructive thoughts. I find positive affirmations for every negative thought and repeat these to myself throughout the day when the thought pops up. This is difficult especially on the way down but it does help me. My journal is very constructive for me.

Self Nurture - I still have trouble with this from time to time. Finding something I truly enjoy when I am down is not an easy feat. Sometimes my self nurture is as simple as using hand cream, taking time to nurture my body. When I can afford it, I might go get a massage, get my hair done or get a facial. Otherwise I will do my own nails, or go for a horseride.

Exercise - another one I struggle with from time to time. I try to get on the bike at the very least for 5 minutes a day. As much as it feels to hard to do when I am depressed, it is important. I rarely notice an improvement in my mood or anything but my body does feel better for it.

Routine - a lot of this stuff is all in my daily routine, I need to make sure I dont fall out of my routine. Up and outside first thing every morning, the sunlight helps me wake up, then breaky, meds, my daily activity (work/socialising/horseriding), shower, dinner, meds, bed. Very simple but hard to keep when I am low.

Be Kind to myself - This is probably the hardest! I critisize myself a lot when I am low, its hard not to do! But when I notice I am being mean to myself, I think "would I say this to someone else?" the answer is always no. I need to comfort and support myself as I would a friend.

Hope this has been helpful, it has for me! I hope to look back on this post next time my mood starts to drop so I can see where I am going wrong.

[Faraway tree]

In the past (for better or worse) I would just try to get through the day. I think learning to be gentle on myself is the best thing. It was actually this random lady who stopped me once and said she felt compelled to tell me to "be my own fluffy duck" and that she thought I was the type to run around caring for others and never care for myself.

Before meds I used red wine, before red wine I used art... Now my creativity is long gone.

And when had I had/have thoughts to end it all I set an end date and say to be fair to my family I'll try not to but if it's still this hard by this time I can do it. I find it comforting (the date is years away though).

Now that I'm older wiser and medicated I go see my doc when I start to feel off as I know of I get really down or up I have no insight and think I made bp up. Also working a 4 day week helps. My doc has been great though and seems to be able to fix me up pretty quickly.

[Blue_Bird]

Journaling: It's nice to have a place to get all my thoughts and feelings out, especially when my mind is racing.
Art: Love creativity, arts and crafts, drawing, painting. Takes my mind off things.
Workbooks: Give my insight into myself and new coping strategies
Reading: It's like an escape
Exercising: Just makes me feel better overall even though it's hard work sometimes
Healthy Diet: Same as exercising, makes me feel better
Having a Schedule<----This has got to be the most important thing for me in coping with bipolar.