Is this scary?

Does this seem scary?

I edited another post of mine to reflect how I'm feeling right now. A friend of mine things its scary. What do you think? Or rather, is it scary or is it still manic?

I don't find it manic-y just that you miss your hallucination and comfort while manic.

Yeah, but nobody is going to understand how the angels talking to me could be a comfort, ya know? They just see it as delusional and therefore bad.

It's your blog they don't have to understand. You are allowing them to read an entry of your personal journal.

their problem. They must lead pretty hollow lifes if all that is out there is "delusional".

Are you spiritual, btw?

I always found comfort in spirituality... you can explain many things you experience. If you don't believe in any of it, all you can do is think you gone crazy.

I thought it was beautiful. Stream of conscious type writing is always better than mapped out thoughts to me. More honest somehow.

Thank you, Sillykitty! That's how I write my blog so that people can understand how it feels to me to be bipolar.

I'm not really that spiritual, although I did write about angels when I was manic. I already know I done gone KWAYzee....

I don't know why he said I was delusionàl. I know I was a little bit when Iwas manic but I said I was too! That doesn't mean that knowing Iwas delusional didn't still mean I <I>believed</i> the delusions! Of course I did!!

That's how I feel, too. Its a very personal thing that, yet, is public. I am allowing them to read it to see the inner me, not to argue with me about it!!

Actually, I have another long-time personal friend who refuses to read my blog. He says I told him his interpretation was wrong when he last read it so nope oh well not gonna read it. I don't think he understood the multiple layers in what I wrote and therefore he got peeved at me. But that's just me. However, we CAN have a conversation about the subject matter without referencing the blog just fine.

I don't think its scary at all. I think its fantastic to write thing about you and bipolar. It helps all of us and educates those who don't have the illness. Keep writing, keep writing.

Thanks. ! !

Now a friend who had been getting closwer to me and such a fun friend just said, "I'm sorry. Ican't do this." And quit chatting with me. He means deal with me and my being bipolar. He doesn't think I'm rational. He thinks I'm still delusional and won't admit it. Now I've got tears in my eyes.

Oh well. Tomorrow, I am seeing another friend that I haven't seen in over a year and a half and I know he will never banish me for being bipolar.