[Mr. Radio]

I am having delusional thoughts and highly energetic at times. Took 20 mg of saphris last night after meeting with a doctor yesterday morning. It got worse as the day went on, been that way for the past 3-4 days. Went out to a party last night and thought in a way I was talking to death. I listen for key words in what people say. Even in one case someone said Santa Clause and Jesus in the same sentence and that's when I was like WTF. Last time I was psychotic I thought I was both of them. I believe media can talk directly to me sometimes. I'm on depakote, been taking that for a while to prevent mania. Just started the anti-psychotic. I don't want to lose control like last time and spend 8 months getting right.

At this moment I'm feeling somewhat stable, just a little restless. Sleeping has helped, it seems to reset my thought process. I have highs during the day where I get lost in thought. I'm just want to be well and want to sleep it all away. I can't handle that many thoughts and connecting things that although make sense to me in a way, don't make sense in reality. How can I help myself?

[Moose72]

Can you pass this by a psych. Nurse at the psych ER? Call and see what they have to say? I assume your pdoc has gone home for the day, that's why I suggested it.

[Travelinglady]

Let's also hope the anti-psychotic will kick in. In the meantime, I would keep in touch with your doctor. I am not sure there is a way otherwise to keep psychotic episodes from happening. But I don't know for sure.

Hopefully the antipsychotic will kick in soon and you start to feel more yourself. This might be a silly suggestion but have you tried mindfulness or some relaxation to try and centre yourself and your thoughts or is that too hard in this state?

[Skittles56]

I'm in exactly the same place, Mr. Radio. I find that keeping busy helps a lot. It's a really busy period at work, and we're doing some renovations on the house. I have to keep a handle on the irritability, but that's not as hard to do as controlling psychosis would be if I was not staying busy.

Hope this helps.

[Mr. Radio]

Yea, since I've taken saphris I've been feeling really eager to do something. I use to be in class, but now that's over. Today I'm painting my room a new color. The anti-psychotics kicked in for the most part. What is hard is the sleeping, getting to bed and then getting out. I seem to wake up throughout the night after every dream, then in the morning it is hard to get out of bed, more than usual.

Managing delusions and mania is a hard task and at times I enjoy the psychotic state for what it can bring to the room and the connections I make and have a good time with. Other times is such a burden and it's like hoping I won't get any sicker. Don't want to end up back in a hospital. Mental illness is so interesting I don't think any psych really has a way to explain what is happening other than your symptomatic. Like why do we believe and act out certain things especially when they seem to make sense at the time?

I want to know the answers, I want just the right amount of mania and psychotic delusions to become very productive at what I do, that being radio and communications. I don't like telling docs about this because they fear what they don't understand so it's easier for them to lock me up.

[Moose72]

Radio, when I was in the hospital 3 weeks ago with delusions and halluciations they used a tactic on me where they'd ask me if I thought Icould fly. They asked me every time they saw me several times. Ithink this was to get me to think that maybe I couldn't fly.

[Mr. Radio]

Did you think you could fly? And in what sense did they use the term? I'm in a state now where I can't sleep, feeling like I'm getting a lot of answers, and the world is coming to me rather than me chasing it.

Idk if you understand this place I'm in. One things one would call delusions, I find them fascinating parts of the mind. What are they really processing?

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mr. Radio

Did you think you could fly? And in what sense did they use the term? I'm in a state now where I can't sleep, feeling like I'm getting a lot of answers, and the world is coming to me rather than me chasing it.

Idk if you understand this place I'm in. One things one would call delusions, I find them fascinating parts of the mind. What are they really processing?

Yes, I did think I could fly. I thought I should use the space between the ceiling and the floor as we don't use it and how silly is that?

I'd say maybe you should call if you haven't and run this by your pdoc. I felt like I knew everything when I was manic, too.

[lawrenman]

I had dreams when I was severly depressed that I could teach others to fly. Dreaming was my escape of the world. The only downside is that it made me want to sleep even more! Not a good things when depressed and not wanting to face the day anyway...

As for when I was manic I just thought I could control things with my mind...like the weather. Or that I could predict it...or that it made me manic...one of the two.