[dubblemonkey]

...right now I wished I never went too far before and forced my therapy into the pharmaceutical

..I used to taste the sounds I used to touch the smells I used to see the world in some alien delight!

now like a mist a dopey fog allows only barely an illumination of the kind sky..

it reminds me of the urgency I have been subjected to...

to meet this world with a "performance"...otherwise to what I have been born like!

there is no settling with my illness

I continue to be damaged by the same old silly questions??

...like.. 'was it me?'
...like.. 'are they right?'
...like.. why am I so mixed up?'
...like.. how come they are not?'

...like ...'why am I so scared before anything is there to be scared about?'

my experience tells me I am psychotic when I express myself...

...that my feelings are damaged before they even arrive...

that something within my observers suggests I can evaluate and validate such an apparently accidental purpose?!

sends me emotionally crippled back to the beginning...

and no matter what I do I am always at the beginning...

DM

[gayleggg]

Sorry you are facing the "dopey fog" of the pharmaceuticals. Sometimes they really help and don't leave you feeling like you can barely swim through the fog. I'm sorry it's not working out that way for you. I hope it gets better because sometimes the symptoms fade. I hope that is the case for you.