[Shannon14]

Hi, I am new here and am not used to posting anything online, but I feel I need to get some answers. This past week, I feel I have been led to end my life. I have decided to put this off until the beginning of next year to help my parents and to possibly, by some miracle, feel better. I've been fighting bipolar I for 15 years and it never seems to end. I've been on tons of medicine and even had ECT, but the bad always comes back. I felt calm when I finally committed myself to this decision, although that feeling of calm has wavered. I have been in therapy for years with different therapists and seeing the same psychiatrist for 14 years. My question is, if I tell them my plan, seeing as it is not until next year, will they have to have me put into a hospital? I really don't want that, but I don't want to lie either, that makes each session last forever. For this moment, I am safe and willing to take the chance that things will change. Does that count? Thank you for any input you may have.

[Hippity hop]

I'm new to this site as well. I understand not wanting to tell that you are thinking bad thoughts. However, your family therapist and your doctor can not help you feel better if you don't tell them the truth.

[~Christina]

I'm sorry your feeling this way.

It's common for BP'ers to feel hopeless and that leads to thoughts of suicide for many people. Bipolar runs in cycles .. You even typed " the bad always comes back" ... Proof that it is indeed a cycle.. an ugly cycle at times but a cycle indeed.

I don't know if you are on medications or not , maybe you need a second opinion from a new Pdoc 14 years is a long time to see a Pdoc do you like he/she? Do you like your current Therapist? Does your therapy have specific goals your working towards ? Sometimes it helps to actually tackle X problem and move on to another .

Do you feel your Pdoc and T are working to help you stay healthy and happy?

To answer your question ... If you are not a threat to yourself or others usually you won't get a one way ticket to the hospital.. I do think it would be wise to fill them in .. that way your treatment can be reviewed .. You obviously want help ...ask them for it.

Welcome to PC I hope you find the support here helpful

[Victoria'smom]

Ask for help it' should not lead to hospitalization but will lead to several serious conversations about future goals.

[wildflowerchild25]

As long as you can "contract for safety" at the moment they won't hospitalize. I told my pdoc all about my suicidal thoughts and intentions on Tuesday and I was able to (barely) walk out. Now she did call my husband and say she was going to call mobile crisis to come get me but I think that's because I told her safety contracts are bull and mean absolutely nothing. Haha don't do that.

[KatiePillar]

Sometimes, going to the hospital is the best, for that moment.

I've been there. I protested and made a scene. But after, looking back on it, it was the best option.

Hey, what are some (positive) things that make you feel calm when you think about them?