[lauraislame]

Ok im sorry if this is a long post but i just need some help from other people diagnosed with bipolar!
(just back story) So starting at the root of everything last summer (15 yr at the time now 16) i was self harming and i was extremely depressed and i knew i needed help, i was ****ing up a lot of relationships and everything was spiraling down. My moms dad (my grandpa) was diagnosed with bipolar and my uncle had depression. ANYWAYS i went in to see my doctor with my mom and ofcourse my family was very denial (who wants a child with mental health problems?) they thought i was faking a lot of it and making stuff up. Initially i thought possibly BPD but now im thinking more bipolar. In my initial check up the doctor said severe depression, anxiety and possible bioplar. She prescribed prozac which my mom was not happy about because my uncle was on that when he committed suicide. So i started seeing a psychologist and she said BDP and Bipolar was possible but didn't want to give diagnoses because of my age and possible job problems in the future on medical records. I stopped meds and seeing her because my family was very denial and just ****ing irritating about everything.
Life is very frustrating for me lately cos i feel everything is getting worse, i get into periods were i feel like **** and i just wanna die and cry and dont want to do anything. I feel very tired and distracted and hopeless. But other times i feel EXTREMELY energetic and happy and loud. I do a lot of art and its very good when im like this but a lot of the time my energy feels very anxious and irritable. Its like im happy but i was to hurt something. The only person who sees a lot of this is my boyfriend, he mainly deals with my issues and i feel so guilty. Other times i feel normal and then i wonder if its all in my head that i act like this. Or im in a mixed episode and my head feels so jumbled and pressured. WHAT DO I DO?

[xYesVirginiax]

Don't be so pressured to try and find a "label" for what ails you. It may "seem" to help to be able to vocalize and isolate a problem (or series of problems) that you're having, but realistically what you're doing is leading yourself down a road to "self-diagnosis" (you could potentially "diagnose" yourself with far worse things, and it will only affect your mood more intensely).

I would say continue to make art. Express yourself. Whatever you do (regarding media of your artwork), if it's not relieving you in the way that you hope, try some new medium for your art. I moved from music/performing arts to visual.

I would theorize that your doctor/other specialists are hesitant to "nail down" their diagnosis for you because you are so young. This disorder generally fully develops in the late teens/early 20s (mine fully manifested around age 19/20).

I would also suggest that you address your family to get the point across that "there is something wrong with my mental health and I need to be evaluated for it". Don't immediately jump to a few conclusions you pulled from WebMD or this site; that's not what they're for (especially for mental health issues).

This is at least what I wish that I would have done if I was your age again. I could have saved many relationships and attempts on my life. I won't lie to you, teenage years (especially for someone with an issue with their mental health) are some of the most trying years in one's life. Just persevere and if your relationship gives you support to help you through, then continue with it.

[lauraislame]

I tried telling my family that but they were very denial just because im not around them that often especially when im having a particular "bipolar" episode (using the term bipolar loosely because of no diagnoses)
i feel like i almost want a label not o much for the labels sake. I mean who ACTUALLY wants to have a mental disorder, but because i obviously have issues and i want a more pin pointed way to try to help myself. Personally i dont go as bipolar because of the loose diagnoses. Ive been acting like this for a few years and feel its getting worse and im scared if i dont kinda of catch it soon enough it may get as bad as my grandpa.
Ive also talked to my boyfriend about it but hes not much help because he believes that a lot of disorders are labeled so the doctors can get more money. But he does believe i have issues.

[PrairieCat]

Please get evaluated. So many families are in denial when a family member has a problem like this. My family is with the exception of a brother and I'm not sure he gets it completely, but he is there if I need to talk about it. I do, but only in generalities. I think mine began in my teenage years, perhaps even before than. The general rule of late teens to early 20's is not set in cement. Tell your family as much as you can of what you said here. Try to tell them this in a gentle and tactful manner and also let them know you are very serious. Good luck and hugs! Let me know how it goes.
PrairieCat

[lauraislame]

Originally Posted by PrairieCat

Please get evaluated. So many families are in denial when a family member has a problem like this. My family is with the exception of a brother and I'm not sure he gets it completely, but he is there if I need to talk about it. I do, but only in generalities. I think mine began in my teenage years, perhaps even before than. The general rule of late teens to early 20's is not set in cement. Tell your family as much as you can of what you said here. Try to tell them this in a gentle and tactful manner and also let them know you are very serious. Good luck and hugs! Let me know how it goes.
PrairieCat

I tried with that last year. I know i should but i had a lot of freedom taken away and it sucked. I think im going to wait till i turn 18 so its something i can control easier. the whole thing is just so complex and frustrating