[biplol]

I need to numb the pain.
I'm going down so fast, I don't know when is going to stop....

[bizi]

Hope it means you are heading to bed for a nites sleep....
I am sorry that you are in such pain....
Do you have a therapist to help you with all of this?
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate.
(((HUG)))
bizi

[darkeyes]

Did you stop meds completely? You may not want to hear this,but abrupt med changes can mess you up.
Please call your pdoc,sometimes we can't do everything on our own, and that's okay, doesn't mean we have failed or anything like that, it's okay if we need some help and ask.
Please take care now,
DE

[JonB]

I also hope that it's not coming off meds that's causing the sinking. I've had that happen to me, though. Sometimes, when coming off meds, I have to get back on them purely in order to get off them. Hope you don't get too far down - and remember, sometimes we have to do whatever it takes to keep from crashing. Maybe it's just an adjustment and you will level off and come back up - probably best to check in with any docs or therapists to see what could be causing it and how to avoid a rough landing. Good luck...

[biplol]

Well, it's sunday morning, I have a really bad headache but at least I slept thru the night, no nightmares, no night terrors.
Let me be really honest about one of the main reasons I wanted to be off meds; besides a lot of other things (irritability every afternoon, poor poor concentrations, bad bad depression) one thing that the meds really messed up in me was my nights.
I never in my life have good nights of sleep, but I try to control them in different ways. When I started taking the meds, I went to bed really frightened with no reason for it, I woke up several times at night and the paranoia was driving me crazy.
Last night was the summun of a lot of bad nights, nightmares, ups and downs. I have had one episode like that one like a month ago, when for the stupidest things I got really upset and ended up drunk in my kitchen floor, until my hubby came and took me upstairs.
Last night I came downstairs thinking that I needed to drink to make the pain go away, because I'm not an alcoholic, I drunk one cup of wine and I started feeling like crap.
I cried a lot, because I feel like a failure most of the time, I don't know how to handle most of the aspect of my life, and I felt alone.
But what I realize in the midst of all this is, that, my hubby gives me enoguh room for me to feel, and put my thoughts into tears, but he came downstairs after 1/2 hour and took me upstairs, help me get into bed and he asked me if I needed a masage, he masaged my legs and my back *they were literally killing me*.
Not saying anything, just huging me and trying to make me feel like everything is going to be ok.
Thank you guys, for been there, on the other side of the net.
Thank God I hav emy other half here, I have too much to be thankful for and I really am.

[biplol]

Thank you for your concern, I have to say, I'm not regretting it just yet, but I'm open to anythign that can help me being better.

[bizi]

Sounds like he is very supportive of you...That is great!
hang in there...
Sometimes a simple benadryl can help you get to sleep....or even just to help calm ya down.
Have you tried that before?
(((HUGS)))
bizi

[biplol]

((bizi)) he really is, even when i can see in his eyes that he doesn't understand, he is there for me.
Yes I try that, but since I was drinking, I didn't want to mix them up.
thank you!