Adderal and Zoloft and bipolar bad combo

So sometime in late 2012 I was diagnosed as having ADD and depression. My doctor put me and Adderall and Zoloft. So guess what happened I was a hot mess! I was having manic episodes, showing all symptoms of BP. I was doing things out of my normal character. Excessive drinking, sexual misconduct, I even became a stripper for a short while. Yes, I was a mess. then last month I started to really get depressed and started having suicidal thoughts. I was hospitalized taken off those meds diagnosed as being bipolar and not add. and here I am now I am just on lithium 150 mg 2x in am and 2x in pm.

In essence my behavior for the past year has been unacceptable. Is it because of the meds I was on? Can I blame it on me? Do I blame my actions on my mental illness? Or am I to blame? I feel immense shame for all of my actions. this shame really puts me on the edge to hurt my self when I think about it.

Through my research online and talking with my doctors I have come to realize that the two meds that I was put on were wrong for a person that has bipolar disorder. So my actions could have been induced by the medication that I was put on.

Has anyone here experienced a similar situation.

I have never been diagnosed with bipolar (as far as I know). But I do have ADD and once i was on adderal and prozac. I went psycho. I got suicidal and jumped in front of a train. I think it made me crazy. I went around running around the city, with the cops chase me as I was suicidal.....Bad combination. Everytime I've taken anti depressants, it's made me a little crazy. I'm very hesitant to take anti depressants because I feel even as I may be suicidal right now, I wouldn't act on it and do something stupid that I know isn't going to kill me but will get me landed in the hospital.