Weird buzzy sounds & lights.

I'm feeling extra perceptory heightened senses. I think I'm tipping from the mixed manic rage into something happier. I got paranoid at first, the buzzings sounded like locusts coming, the vibrating crystals dangling from the lamp were something bad coming, moments ago. But I'm ok I realize this buzzing sounds & visuals are nothing new & just let them happen. If this is me crazy, ok let it be. I've been pushed beyond over the brink, just floaty now. Reflecting on the rage. Wishing that hadn't been me, but it was. Oh well. Moments have you, keep it moving people, cover your ears from Christmas music & will make it through.

Hugs. You sound like youre makung it through ok.

the buzzy sounds will pass, i'm sure

just do what you usally do to distract yourself

I had a brief period of rage a few months ago, thank god it's past I don't like being like that. Right now I'm kinda in La La Land, or a mixed episode. But mostly up. So I'm good. For now. No matter where I'm at I try to remember it will pass.

Sounds similar to after an episode. Sometimes it's like an eye of th storm. You come up out of the rage like your coming up for air. But instead of being in the water you're way up in sky, looking down on the violent storm. It's calm but it's scary because it's too calm.... and you know it probably isn't over yet because you have to sink back down to the earth through the lightning and wind.

Exactly! But ive gone way way up! Detached but began flying high. My drive to work today consisted of maniacal laughter & singing... Cars were moving out of my way because I'm so shiny, beat up car can't hide that kind of shine. Made up songs about if this is my baseline I'll bass bass take it , cuz it's all about the bass the bass move my body to the bass beat rhythm. Ima badass super***** this crazy world is awesome. The clouds are crazy & amazing. I see a flying saucer one. And itching to get out like a cat in heat. Huge fight with my 18 son. Left him at house & I'm in a hotel with the other 2 kids. So it's good I'm tied down cuddled up with them & the tv in this room. These meds are good for helping me sleep during this one. Gonna try to ride it out easy cuz I can't take another crash like last one - 3 months in bed missing work cannot happen again.

I'm not real wordy right now but I am thinking of you . Sending you love hugs and calming thoughts

Thanks guys. Hope you're ok Chris... Worried when you don't talk.
I took the meds to stay calmer. Came home dealt with son, yelled some. I don't know how we'll make peace. I made it very clear we are supporting sister in her sobriety & no matter what went down in the past - pot is not allowed in the house, zero, judge has threatened her 3 years in prison for smoking pot on probation. No more pot here - and it just might help him get off his arse & get his life together. They are both total addicts cannot just take a lil toke here & there in moderation. And they're both on probation. It has to stop. I have been a total codependant enabler and I'm ashamed. But going forward I'm taking control finally, no more softie pants, my house my rules.

And the mania - I don't want to take it too far this time. I want to be balanced & functioning. The main problem with me when it's manic time, if it's not rageful, is crazy sex & partying. Ok I said it & it's gross when I think of it later. Like hotel I stayed at last night was very nice but also the same one where I went with that washed up rockstar after his show, 24 yrs older than me. And wtf was I thinking. He wasn't the only one last summer either. And... I was t safe. Wtf. Not letting myself go there again. Keeping my party dress on. In fact, I'm gonna wear pants, with a belt with a lock. Oh sheesh I can't believe that weird risky **** I had no business doing. Not letting that happen again Nope!!! At least the 3rd time I had a 3+ month manic stint like that. Time I learn from it. My experience & perspective will help keep me on track.

I'm glad your strong enough right now to stand up for yourself and family. I know how hard it has been on you Try not to look negatively at yourself because of your manic times.