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#1
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I am just noticing that for me when I get my manic swings that I have a tendancy of being a lot more angry and irritable wither it be for reasonable reasons or for nothing that is reasonable at all.
its kind of really a dumb stupid cycle to be frankly honest, cause when I do note that I am angry over something...it just in turn makes me more angry cause frankly I don't want to be angry or irritable at all. But feeding fire with fire rarely helps. And since I have rapid cycle bipolar usually I will have fun points of high energy and irritablity when I am manic and then have a huge low swing of depression of omg why did I do that I really hate myself right now for acting that way. I am amazed to be hones I have not ended up cutting myself or hurting myself at all...from all this cause frankly...after the incidents I really feel like I want to be hurting myself. I think being around family and friends that are willing to physically restrain me helps me not...end up fully hurting myself... Even though I would really like to when I get to points like this. Just sayin...
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA ![]() |
![]() redfaux
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#2
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I get this feeling honestly I do . like today I got talked with by my boss because I was late last week and she had every right to and normally I'd feel like a bad employee but today I'm the energizer bunny and I got pissed. My boss was worried she shouldn't have told me how and when she did and my coworker who can handle anything was uncomfortable with how agitated I was. Irritable and aggressive are the best sign im manic.
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#3
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I have anger and irritability problems when I have a mixed episode.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
#4
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95% of my mania's are ugly men angry annoyed messes ! I'm sorry your dealing with cutting ... It can get better I have not cut in 8 months after 20+ years of doing it .. so there is hope. ** hugs**
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() LacunaCoiler
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#5
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ironically I don't really classify myself as a cutter...although I have self mutilated myself at points when I am under a lot of pressure.
but I have never actually cut myself with a blade...thought about and attempted to quite a few times....even dreamt of it. But not actually done so before.But it worries me that if I think about as often as I do...i will just end up doing this at some point probably.
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA ![]() |
#6
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Yeah I'm generally very euphoric when manic but don't take criticism or negative commentary well at all. I snap whenever I feel I am being judged and overreact to small matters when things don't go my way.
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We are not our minds. Living is victory. |
#7
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Yes in retrospect I realized that my emotions are more pronounced when I get manic. I used to only see the euphoric part of my mania, how small little things in life elicits strong happiness and excitement in me. When I read your posts and some others' comments, I realized that mania also caused my anger to become more pronounced - I especially can't stand perceived imperfections in co-workers - I become less tolerant of others' inefficiency. In retrospect, I wonder if they were really inefficient, or is it my unrealistic perception that made them appear so? Perhaps the mania made me over-efficient, and they were simply performing at normal and acceptable levels?
Perhaps mania just has the ability to inflate all our emotions, be it happiness, anger, etc, out of proportion to the actual circumstances? And because mania generally impairs our judgement and decision process, we tend to allow ourselves to exhibit stronger emotions that we would otherwise not indulge ourselves in under normal (non-mania) circumstances. |
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