Public service announcement :)

Don't laugh, shake your head yes and say "Yeah, constantly but at least I'm not suicidal." When your pdoc asks if your having thought of harming yourself. The consequence? Having the PRN part of your script removed and doubling you anti-depressant, and yet more appointments with support. Hey maybe it'll work but not likely. Hopefully I don't fight taking the sequol to much.

I made that same mistake a few months ago, and got both my AP and MS increased, plus a second AP. It turned out to be a good thing because I really was f'ed up, and now I've been steady for weeks. You just never know.

I always emphasize that I think about it, more like intrusive thoughts, but would never act on it. Luckily, my pdoc respects my rights as an adult and doesn't force med changes on me.

Anxiety Girl- That's the thing he asked. I was honest. I will never tell him I wont and he would never ask me not to because he knows I'll never say I wont. As he handed me my prescription I asked if he could raise my antidepressant 10 mg. It made him drop his pen and drop back in his chair and ask about SH thoughts. I hate when they get all serious. Two seconds before we were laughing and joking. Usually the session ends with "So when can we start decreasing everything?" and a smile because we both know that's not going to happen.

They kind of go into panic mode when I ask to increase anything. You can see them scrambling in their head through the conversation and my chart. He treats me like an adult but needs to make sure I'll be able return to my next appointment. If I ask for an increase then I've usually passed psychosis at one point between appointments. He knows I will continue using the AP as a PRN but he wants me to take it as often as I can. He keeps me stocked on the AP. Even PC has encouraged me to take AP full time at least for a little. I'll be out of town next week and I think he's vaguely scared of that. I have everyones number phone number, (including my family's pdoc) to change meds as fast as possible, and appointments the day before I leave and the day that I come home.
He is extremely good at working within my strict med requirements.

He also asked if he can start set up our team for when we move. He wants to make sure that I'm with a team that I can be completely honest with from the start as he thinks things are quickly going to get chaotic for us when move.

_____________

My husband got put on an AP today.