[Invisible&UnLovable]

For as long as I rember, my relatives have always ignored me for the most part. They are able to converse with each other, but they've never really cared to know about me or my life. In July I went to visit my home state, and was successful meeting up with some of them, but when I did, my sister asked me what I do, and I told her the truth...I'm disabled. I asked where she and the others worked, and they just told me the city where they worked, only my sister told me further details such as the name of the place, and that was basically it. They never gave me any of their phone numbers or addresses so I could keep in touch with them...most of them are on facebook, but I deactivated my account so I do not know how to get a hold of them, let alone them wanting me to find them.

I spoke to my dad about this, and he sided with them. He sided with my Child's father when I told him that he was being abusive with me. He interrups me when I'm talking...most people do. So he tells me that I can call him and talk to him at anytime for anything and when I did last time, he told me to call him when I have good news to tell him.

No wonder I have daddy issues.

Truthfully, I hope I can one day change my identity, nose job, breast enhancement, hair color, even false eyelashes. This is how much I feel alienated by my so-called family. I feel like if I look entirely different, people will pay more attention to me and care about me.

But I know no matter how much I wish or will change my looks, my so-called relatives will continue to keep their distance.

Water is thicker that blood for me.

[Invisible&UnLovable]

I think taking half of my Alprazolam is needed as of this half hour or so.

[Invisible&UnLovable]

I forgot that I would change my name as well...the name Ariel sounds beautiful.

[unaluna]

So why dont you reactivate your facebook account? Facebook keeps updating itself and joining more people automatically, it seems to me.

[Weltering]

Have you considered actually accepting what you wrote, "water is thicker than blood"?
Maybe it's time to move past your grief for your family. Start your new life now. Except, you don't have to change you. Change the people you surround yourself with (or try to). If your family isn't interested in you, supportive of you or giving any value to your life, find people that will

I know that's easier said than done, but the pain in your posts is heart wrenching. You deserve people who love you and want to make your life better.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by Weltering

Have you considered actually accepting what you wrote, "water is thicker than blood"?
Maybe it's time to move past your grief for your family. Start your new life now. Except, you don't have to change you. Change the people you surround yourself with (or try to). If your family isn't interested in you, supportive of you or giving any value to your life, find people that will

I know that's easier said than done, but the pain in your posts is heart wrenching. You deserve people who love you and want to make your life better.

I actually had to do this. It was hard to initiate that break but it was for the best and I see that now. I hope you find some comfort soon.

Sent from my Huawei U8800-51 using Tapatalk 2

[Invisible&UnLovable]

I was told by my therapist to maybe perhaps join a local church in my area so I'm not so isolated. It has been so cold and snowy where I live that I haven't had the chance to. I'm also afraid to return to church because it has been so long...it sounds rediculous I know, but if I put aside my fears, this could be a breakthrough...who knows?

I am not close to my family either (but have made an effort to keep in touch with my parents as they are getting older). I surround myself with people who truly care for me instead of those that are obliged to care for me. Since letting go of the idea that your blood family is my only family I have lived a much happier life. I have a brilliant support network now full with understanding people.

Church could be a really great idea, are there any support groups in your area too? Do you have any hobbies or interests? Making an effort to get out there is a big step and one to be proud of.