Secrets ive been holding in... is this bad?

Being bipolar does it mean keeping secrets? I have so many secrets that I feel I need to get out, and since I wont tell anyone I know, I feel I can let it out here and get some advice, like if I should keep these secrets in or let them out. here is the main one that has been killing me for months now....
I cheated on my husband, with my babys father. it was a one time deal and I have stopped talking to him, and he has giving his rights up as a father. My husband works many hours a day and im always home alone. so I get lonely, and I also flirt with other men, but too scared to actually do something about it. I haven't told my therapist, or anyone, I don't want to lose my husband he is a wonderful man and I love him very much. but I feel with my bipolar I get the urge to be wild and have an affair. but then I cant blame it on my disorder, it was a choice I made. I guess I have this sexual rush that I just need to get out of. and I don't know how, every time I try to make a move on my husband, he denies me. because he is too tired from work.
do I tell him, or do I keep it in? I know he will leave me if he finds out. This is one of many secrets I have kept but this is the worst and I needed to get it out. so thanks for listing and I hope I get some advice!!

thanks!!

What a hard situation! Thankyou for sharing your story, I hope getting it out has helped you a bit.

I couldnt break the heart of my lover if I ever cheated on him (one of my biggest fears is going manic and cheating - its the reason I stay on meds and worked so hard to not have an episode since being with him) I dont think I could ever share this secret, especially if he thinks the child is his. If he leaves, the child is the one who suffers, along with his heartbreak of losing a child that was never his.

I think you should mention this to your therapist. Get the expert opinion.

thanks guys! ill try to talk it over with my therapist, im just nervous that she might tell me to tell him, and then my marriage is over.

My husband knows hes not the father of my son, but he is a good man and has been there from the beginning. tough stuff mang

What you describe sounds like hypersexuality and can be a symptom of mania or hypomania which is not a choice. It is one of my more prominent symptoms when I am manic. I would suggest telling your dr and you can work together to figure things out. I did similar to you and didnt tell my therapist for a long time mostly because I didnt want to get in 'trouble'. She was very understanding and I realized I should have said something sooner. A med adjustment may be in order if your mood is elevating.

I've also recently cheated with my partner for the first time since we got together (6 years ago). I let it happen because I knew I couldn't fight the hyper sexual urges any longer. Now I've crashed and the guilt is taking over... I'd say make a decision when your feeling stable, as your mind will be in the right place to do the right thing for everyone. Xx

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I found that meds do help with the hypersexuality but then it kills the libido and I feel like the only pleasure I have anymore is sex so then without that I feel like my life is pointless. I hate needing it three times a day but I really want it too. Unfortunately my wife happens to hate sex. So this means I'm forced to deal with this need on my own. If I could find someone to cheat with I would and not feel a bit of guilt because my wife sure wouldn't miss it.

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Cheating is a touchy subject. I suppose from an outsiders point of view it's wrong and a hurtful thing to do, but perspectives change when you throw hypersexuality in the mix as it becomes a physical and mental need and rational thought processes are altered.

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hyper-sexuality ... maybe this is possible, i have been and always was a little overboard when it came to sex and partners. I thought becoming married would make me stop, and i still have these urges, and i contact people i shouldnt, and then i get shy and turn away. IDK im a confused person, maybe i should talk to my therapist. IDK but like the one guy said i dont want to lose my sex drive. That is one thing i will not take! I love sex too much. HAH

Each relationship is different. I would really talk to your t about it.