mania??

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 01, 2014, 11:30 PM

ok ok ok ok I get it now I can feel it and ive looked reaslly hard and I can see some mania but nothing too bad. but I just don't WANT to lose this feeling. I feel so amazing andf I don't want it to end! I know I don't want to crash etc etc but I don't want to lose this feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

StillLeftBehind · Jan 01, 2014, 11:39 PM

It's a great ride but the bottom is not worth it. Stick to your meds and keep your pdoc informed about your swings. Hang in there

.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 01, 2014, 11:41 PM

I swear I have never felt this before. But seriously I don't want it to end! I know depression sucks but I just don't feel like its gonna happen

StillLeftBehind · Jan 01, 2014, 11:57 PM

If has happened before then it will happen again. The idea is to mitigate the personal damage through meds and counseling. I have a nasty bottom but my highs are like a breath of fresh, sunny, and beautiful air

......only I know that it will not last

. Understand when the bottom comes and be safe.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 02, 2014, 12:03 AM

I know I *should* theoretically take my meds again but then this feeling will go away

jesusplay · Jan 02, 2014, 12:21 AM

oh mania, oh have I missed you.

StillLeftBehind · Jan 02, 2014, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I know I *should* theoretically take my meds again but then this feeling will go away

OK...take meds and then drink coffee

hellboy · Jan 02, 2014, 12:50 AM

Do you notice any negative aspects of the elevated mood? I suffer from impaired judgment and poor decision making.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 02, 2014, 02:09 AM

yea...I was 'painting' on my shower door with hand soap earlier. umm...yeah. I started calling a bunch of people and crap.

im feeling more chilled now..

~Christina · Jan 02, 2014, 05:41 PM

I hope you have a soft landing

Moose72 · Jan 02, 2014, 05:57 PM

Call your pdoc to see what they say to do. I know I did a lot of writing just to get my strange wired up thoughts out last time I was manic a few months ago.

MistressStayc · Jan 02, 2014, 06:08 PM

Mania is a double edged sword.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 02, 2014, 08:17 PM

I haven't gotten into a depression....I have been sleepy all day...

otroo · Jan 09, 2014, 11:54 AM

There are times I really love being manic but man do I crash hard. I wish I could bottle up the positive energy and use it when I needed it.

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Tydi469 · Jan 09, 2014, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

ok ok ok ok I get it now I can feel it and ive looked reaslly hard and I can see some mania but nothing too bad. but I just don't WANT to lose this feeling. I feel so amazing andf I don't want it to end! I know I don't want to crash etc etc but I don't want to lose this feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I know exact how you feel. As my last manic episode was awesome! I have had substance abuse problems in the past and heck I felt high!! It was awesome...but it ALWAYS goes downhill eventually. The last "high" I just mentioned cost me a great friendship. But wow in the beginning..."you're suddenly BACK & better than ever, you seek out social situations, your thoughts are incredibly clear and everyone else seems like the are in slow motion, you feel imortal, fearless ready and able to do anything anywhere and you realize how incredibly brilliant you are!! "I'm like a superhero!" Godlike, nobody can outdo me now. If they could read my thoughts they'd realize what a true genius I really am, etc. then things speed up a but more..impulse control, impossible! We take risks, drive too fast, talk too much, start getting too high...we know how it ends up. And I've got to say besides my 1st manic episode in 92 prior to BP Dx was rx'ed Prozac!! It was amazing!! Wow, I thought, they said it'd be 4-6 weeks before I began feeling better....try 3-4 days!!! It was magical!! Wow that was one wild ride!!!! And I believe the longest...can't remember another manic episode since then that wasn't awful, I mean to a degree I felt better, because I could feel & think again but there was always this pervasive hostility..my baseline emotion during those years, they were almost and some actually were worse than some of my worst depressions. Just in a different way. Okay, done rambling but reading your post made me "re live" that last great mania (begining) and could so relate. But I have never experienced 1 manic episode that didn't end badly...then you crash. So, don't quit taking your meds., if you must cut back a bit, that's your decision but please do some research first on your meds., if you're not already aware of all the side effects, and stoping dangers. Knowledge is powerful & the more we know about our illness, available treatments and meds the more we actively participate in our own treatment plan. I'm glad you're feeling so good right now, just remember it won't last....much love, Diane

thought

Much love, Diane

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 09, 2014, 03:51 PM

I crashed into a deep exhaustion! I had to restart my Lamictal from 25mg. I see my Dr the 23rd.

Crazy Hitch · Jan 09, 2014, 04:16 PM

Mania feels good at first for me but eventually some time into it all he'll begins breaking loose. You need meds and a good chat to your pdoc about how you're feeling so the crash to the bottom has a softer landing. Good luck!

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 09, 2014, 05:26 PM

Yall ever get to the point of where it feels like the mania wasn't real? like everything you felt etc was so long ago (even though it really wasn't) that it doesn't feel like it happened?

Qbug223 · Jan 09, 2014, 09:14 PM

I know I'm manic when I look back on my depression with a sense of nostalgia instead of "Oh I am so ****ing glad that's over." What a twisted way to look at it.

Be careful, crashing sucks. I just crashed (sort of, maybe...) a couple weeks ago. Now I feel like I'm going back up again. But we're still trying to get my meds right. I just dosed down on my MS and my AP.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 16, 2014, 04:28 PM

Ok now I am MOODY and I do mean moody Judy! I totally just snapped inside last night and isolated randomly and wanted to just be alone. I was anger,upset and totally negative. It was bad. Im struggling with this now. wth>??!?!?

Xaleah · Jan 16, 2014, 06:46 PM

I am right there with you, I love the feeling of the hypomania/mania in the beginning I feel like I am on top of the world. And I love it.

But then the crash comes, and I start having other issues.

I Just had a mania in December, had med adjustments and then sorta been unbalanced since, had an increase of one med on Tuesday so hopefully things mellow out more, right now I feel sluggish and have since Tuesday night taking the increased dosage so hopefully that works itself out soon.

Hope that you are feeling better.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 17, 2014, 12:38 PM

still moody! I start my 50mg of lamictal tomorrow. do u think the changes with these meds is screwing with me?

Jan 17, 2014, 09:48 PM

Yes, med changes have a lot more effect on you than you realise. Going off your meds cold turkey would have messed with you too. It will take a long time for your brain to recover and normalise.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 18, 2014, 12:59 PM

:/ im stupid. it feels like I was never in that "state" anyway. like it never happened. but I have plenty of proof it did.

HALLIEBETH87 · Feb 04, 2014, 03:03 PM

since then ^^^ I had to start over on lamictal....im back up to 100mg now when I once was at 400mg. But I am dealing with depression...crying spells....being irritable and such. I have had super anxiety and close panic attacks and ended up self-harming last night.

I saw my T today and she's worried about me. I have been awake over 24 hrs. I simply couldn't sleep last night and I was super anxious too! She wants me to "consider" what to do if things don't start to get better with me. And she wants to talk to my Dr too.

Im scared. Shes referring to a crisis stabilization unit I went to in August. Im not suicidal. What does she mean I wonder and Im scared what my Dr will say/do!

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