[pepperlynne]

I am angry with a friend who let me down tonight. I just formed a friendship with her a month ago. We got close, and had fun together. We would do brunch and a movie before work. It was fun for me to have an experience with a friend because I really can't seem to hold onto any in my life. On the surface I'm "friends" with everyone. Both at work, and at school. Yet, the truth is- I have no friends. THe friends I made when I moved to this city a few years ago have already fallen away. I am just lonely.

I am feeling very mixed right now too, which only makes everything one-hundred times worse. I gotta go back on my regular dose of medicine. I cut down a few weeks ago, and this is just uncomfortable insanity. I wish there was someone who understood. Or someone to distract me. I have so much on my plate right now that my anxiety level is through the roof. I feel that I have the energy to jump right out of my skin. I need to find a way to calm down, or change this. Maybe a drink...

I feel so up and energetic, yet simultaneously desperately sad and hurt. What to do? I guess I just don't know...

[SickOfSadness]

I'm sorry ur feeling this way. :-(

How did ur friend let u down??

I'm a little upset with my best (and basically only) friend right now. I haven't really talked to her in 2wks & have been going thru a lot lately & have been feeling lonely & confused about things. She told me she'd call me right back & never did

I realize that she has a lot going on of her own, but I really needed her tonight.... she is BP as well & understands me.

Sorry for rambling. I hope u feel better!!

Sent from my SPH-M930BST using Tapatalk 2

[pepperlynne]

Thanks for the reply SickOfSadness. My friend has broken plans we had that I was looking forward to all week. It is nice that your friend is also BP, at least you don't feel completely alone. I just found a local support group for BP in my area. I am considering going, but I feel so nervous about it. What if I don't feel comfortable opening myself up to the people there. I'm just scared, but then again maybe it would be a healthy outlet for me.

I hate people right now. I am feeling so anxious and unhappy.

[SickOfSadness]

I know the feeling of having plans broken, but at least she let you know in advance & didn't just leave u hanging, w/o letting u know what's going on..(one of my biggest pet peeves). Also take into consideration that u haven't really known her for all that long. I too have trouble keeping friendships, I think because I'm ranting & crabby all the time & cant seem to shake the funk when I'm in one (I think b/c of the BP)

That's awesome about the support group, I definitely think you should go at least once & check it out! I've been looking for one in my area, but its 1/2 hr. away from my house

I'm not too happy with much right now either, going thru a breakup doesn't help matters any

[donna450]

I have one longtime friend. Since 4th grade. I got married. We moved to a different state. Now I only hear from her through facebook no less but only 1-2 x a year. We've been apart 45 years ..as long as I've been married. Now I don't feel so special because in her eyes I am not imoirtant enough to stay in contact with. She very rarely answers me when I text her. And if she does its usually short and curt. I have no other friends...just acquaintances. With bp I usually very quiet and withdrawn except when I'm manic then I get verbally abusive. My life...my loss!!!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

[SickOfSadness]

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that donna.

Sent from my SPH-M930BST using Tapatalk 2

[Cocosurviving]

I understand abt no frds. I lost basically all of mine once they learned I had BP. I was the black sheep. Ppl I had worked closely with on professional committees for yrs. They stopped calling me and would sometimes barely speak to me. The three ppl that continued to associate with me I believe it was because of their profession. They were social workers like me. All the others are "so-call" Christians. They attend church regularly and I have attended church with a few of them. We traveled together, attended sported events and enjoyed night life together. Then when I really needed them they turned their backs on me. I've since moved out of state and it's been less than a yr. I did not change my phone number or email yet I have not heard from not one. I mailed out Christmas cards to them and did not receive any back in return. I have since made one new frd. She does not have BP but she has a close family mbr that does. That person use to live with her she has first hand and up close experience with BP

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[pepperlynne]

Originally Posted by SickOfSadness

I know the feeling of having plans broken, but at least she let you know in advance & didn't just leave u hanging, w/o letting u know what's going on..(one of my biggest pet peeves). Also take into consideration that u haven't really known her for all that long. I too have trouble keeping friendships, I think because I'm ranting & crabby all the time & cant seem to shake the funk when I'm in one (I think b/c of the BP)

That's awesome about the support group, I definitely think you should go at least once & check it out! I've been looking for one in my area, but its 1/2 hr. away from my house

I'm not too happy with much right now either, going thru a breakup doesn't help matters any

I am sorry you are going through a break up too. It is difficult, especially with BP. I don't know if I am going to go to the support group anymore, I'm having second thoughts.

I have so much on my plate right now, that I am depressed with the small amount of free time I have. I want to live life. But school and work suck everything out of me. And I'm a waitress on top of it. It's the worst job in the entire universe. Tonight, I hated everyone. Yet everyone tipped me well, so I mean, I'm making money without a degree, paying my bills. That's why I continue to do it.

Thankyou for your response- it means so much to me.

[pepperlynne]

Originally Posted by donna450

I have one longtime friend. Since 4th grade. I got married. We moved to a different state. Now I only hear from her through facebook no less but only 1-2 x a year. We've been apart 45 years ..as long as I've been married. Now I don't feel so special because in her eyes I am not imoirtant enough to stay in contact with. She very rarely answers me when I text her. And if she does its usually short and curt. I have no other friends...just acquaintances. With bp I usually very quiet and withdrawn except when I'm manic then I get verbally abusive. My life...my loss!!!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

I get withdrawn and anti social sometimes. Like tonight at work, I hated everyone. Especially my manager. I just kept imagining myself breaking all the plates and glassware in the entire restaurant, and telling people who talk to me like I have the IQ of an eight year old to **** off. I am sorry your friend let you down, she sucks. You deserve better.

[pepperlynne]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

I understand abt no frds. I lost basically all of mine once they learned I had BP. I was the black sheep. Ppl I had worked closely with on professional committees for yrs. They stopped calling me and would sometimes barely speak to me. The three ppl that continued to associate with me I believe it was because of their profession. They were social workers like me. All the others are "so-call" Christians. They attend church regularly and I have attended church with a few of them. We traveled together, attended sported events and enjoyed night life together. Then when I really needed them they turned their backs on me. I've since moved out of state and it's been less than a yr. I did not change my phone number or email yet I have not heard from not one. I mailed out Christmas cards to them and did not receive any back in return. I have since made one new frd. She does not have BP but she has a close family mbr that does. That person use to live with her she has first hand and up close experience with BP

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Those people who stopped talking to you because you're BP are horrible people, and they are small minded and I am sorry that they treated you like that. If someone takes the time to mail me a Christmas card, I always reply back to them somehow, it's just the decent thing to do. I say, forget about them, let them be a shadow of a memory past, and do not let them hold any power over you here in the present. It seems like your new friend is more sensitive to your BP-which is what you need. I hope it works out.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by pepperlynne

Those people who stopped talking to you because you're BP are horrible people, and they are small minded and I am sorry that they treated you like that. If someone takes the time to mail me a Christmas card, I always reply back to them somehow, it's just the decent thing to do. I say, forget about them, let them be a shadow of a memory past, and do not let them hold any power over you here in the present. It seems like your new friend is more sensitive to your BP-which is what you need. I hope it works out.

Thank you very much. Your right God put my new friend in my life just on time. I moved from the state where I was forgotten but plan to visit. I'm sure I'll run into a few of them. I'm stronger now and have piercings (now). Their conservative. LOL. I've been going to therapy since I was diagnosed (8.01.12). I've touched on this a little but it's time to fully move past it. The Christmas cards was my attempt to let them know I was much better. Well I'm moving on unscathed. Thx for your reply.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk