[Maranara]

I have come up with a working theory that I hope to get some validation on soon and I just wanted your opinions. I did the research on bipolar and did lots and lots of self-observation to come up with this conclusion.

I've known I've had BPD for some time. I am very reactive to people around me, I misinterpret body language and voice as being against me, I develop extreme attachments, look at things in black and white, and have extreme abandonment issues...all textbook BPD. The thing is, my BPD issues in some cases last forever, literally months in some cases. I will have relationship issues and be abandoned, BPD all the way, but what would last several days to maybe several weeks in a "regular" BPD will last for months and months and develop in to a monster during that time. My thinking is this: the BPD causes chemicals to develop in the brain and it turns in to bipolar and the two run in to one another making it look like one gigantic problem when it's actually two.

Another thing, and this happens pretty frequently. This would require fast cycling bipolar, within 12 hours or so, but it makes perfect sense and there's a definite pattern. I will be triggered by something someone says or something that happens around me, once again pure BPD, and I will start dwelling on it. Nothing really amiss there that couldn't be explained by BPD. Then I will go to sleep and overnight it will turn in to a monster that will last from a half day to several days. Several weeks ago, my husband said something before he left for work that made me feel extremely guilty and I dwelled on it the rest of the day and in to the night. Then I went to sleep. When I awoke, I started thinking of other times he'd made me feel guilty (part PTSD as well) and I started feeling out of control and trapped. I felt that I had to get away and had no where to go and that made the suicidal thoughts hit very quickly and very strong. It lasted about a half day or so, and with the help of a friend I was able to eventually come down from it, but it was horrible. I'm thinking it started out as BPD but overnight bipolar took over.

I do have several times in my memory of going through "episodes" of depression having manic-like issues with no cause, or reason, but they are few and far between, and I also know of a time I was put on antidepressants during a period of unexplained depression and had a manic-type episode as a result, but most of the time, it seems completely tied in with BPD.

I guess I just want an opinion. I know I can't expect a diagnosis, don't want one, but any opinions that you can come up with would be helpful and much appreciated.

[Curiosity77]

My understanding is the 2 conditions often occur together. Everything you are describing could be BPD with or without bipolar. BPD on it's own causes mood swings that can be severe. Bipolar mood swings typically last awhile, not up and down within the same day. I don't know if you just have one or both conditions, probably best to see a doctor to figure that out because the treatment is different. Although I have seen pure BPD put on lamotrigine to stabilize mood, which is usually used just in bipolar, so I think there is a lot of overlap. I hope that helps

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

Bipolar mood swings typically last awhile, not up and down within the same day.

I know that and largely due to that and the fact that there was always a reason I've always discounted bipolar, but the pattern is there...it gets giganticaly worse with delusions and paranoia overnight, and I have had "episodes" although not as many that have lasted for weeks and months, and there IS a version of bipolar that is very fast cycling. I do intend to talk to a counselor about it soon.

In my personal experience I have met many young women who swore black and blue they were bipolar (even after being diagnosed BPD), but low and behold after DBT the "bipolar" completely disappeared. So I am very skeptical of those that say one affects the other, In my experience those who say they have both usually only have BPD but dont understand that it is their thinking patterns causing mood shifts. Sure there are some that genuinely have both, but there are many more that use bipolar as an excuse for their behaviour. I know thats going to cause an uproar so I wont come back to the thread. Just expressing my experience.

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by Supanova

In my personal experience I have met many young women who swore black and blue they were bipolar (even after being diagnosed BPD), but low and behold after DBT the "bipolar" completely disappeared. So I am very skeptical of those that say one affects the other, In my experience those who say they have both usually only have BPD but dont understand that it is their thinking patterns causing mood shifts. Sure there are some that genuinely have both, but there are many more that use bipolar as an excuse for their behaviour. I know thats going to cause an uproar so I wont come back to the thread. Just expressing my experience.

If you knew me you would know that I take total responsibility for my actions and then some. I was taught to feel guilty for everything. I've done nothing but analyze my behavior and causes/effects for over two years, and if almost 50 is young, I'll take that as a compliment. I know my BPD inside and out and I've practiced DBT and meditation for over a year. But no one I know with BPD has fallen in to a funk over a failed relationship and didn't get up for over four months, being impulsive enough to move almost 3,000 miles from home as well as being suicidal the entire time. BPD is hell, I will be the first to admit that. I went over 20 years without a friend due to BPD, but something other than BPD is going on here and I'm just trying to get some answers.

Maranara,
I know exactly where you are coming from. I suffer from Bipolar as well as several different personality disorders. It is possible that both co-exist. And yes, I believe that one can feed off the other. I live it, and have many different pdoc's and T's tell me the same thing.

I can tell you from experience that when I'm suffering from a mixed episode or a manic episode (I rarely get hypo manic.) My personality disorders are much more prevalent. They really are out of control as well.

My Pdoc and I have a idea about that. When I'm not struggling w/ an episode, I have the ability to control the impulses and what not that follow along w/ the personality disorders. Therefore, I'm less likely to act out on them. But when I'm struggling with a bipolar episode, I can become violent at something that I normally would be able to brush off. I can give you many different examples of that happening.

So, Maranara, please stick around. Both can be managed, and managed well. They do coexist. However, I do recommend that you speak w/ a counselor.

[Trippin2.0]

My BPD and BP definitly feed off eachother.

Its not always as simple as pinpointing what caused which reaction and dealing with the outcome. Sometimes things snowball and get way more complicated than "normal"...



For example, my BPD could be behaving, and by that I mean I manage to not indulge in the behaviours and thoughts my sick mind wants me to, but then a BP episode hits and its like borderline on steroids plus bipolar! all that resolve and self-leashing just goes down the toilet, and what's horrible is that there's an even bigger mess to clean up and bounce back from.

My bpd stuff will clear up relatively quickly once the trigger has been addressed, but if there's a bp episode present simultaneously then it takes about 2 weeks before the bpd stuff just magically disappears and becomes a non issue.

Idk if I'm making much sense, I'm not very articulate atm as I haven't been getting proper sleep for like 3 weeks and I'm close to crying from exhaustion... Just wanted you to know that I get it, and I know you're very well aquainted with you bpd so I believe you when you say that there's something more going on.

[Maranara]

I've done additional research and everything and I've narrowed things down a little. It looks more like a Major Depressive Disorder with Psychosis, which is basically the Bipolar without the mania. I can probably vouch for a day or two of mania-type episodes now and then, but no way can I get 4 days out of it. My shorter "episodes" appear to be primarily depressive while my longer ones are more of a mixed. I don't know...just thought I'd throw that out there. Now I just need to figure out a way to actually see someone about it. I have a 2500 deductible on my insurance and make too much to qualify for aid.... If anyone has any thoughts about that, even if it's just a phone consult, I'd be willing to look in to it.