Lithium Malaise

Greetings... I'm a newbie here. I am 49. I was first diagnosed 10 years ago as depressed after my 2nd DUI. Then diagnosed 8 years ago with BP 2 / ADD. I've known since I was a kid that I was different. Of course I didn't know what it was. I'm ADD but not ADHD even though they put them both under the ADHD banner these days. Back when I went to school they didn't have a name for it except "he doesn't pay attention" or "day dreamer" or "class clown"... I was all those. I was, however, smart enough to pass without doing any homework. I had many ups and downs which shaped my life. Some seriously screwed up things happened to me but I soldiered on.
Anyway, I lived with BP2 for years and loved the hypomania highs some that lasted for quite awhile until a bad decision would bring me way down. I would lose weight and get fit. Stay up late and wake up early. Rock n Roll all night and party everyday! Still nobody had a clue or if they did they didn't tell me. I have a 1st cousin on my moms side that was diagnosed BP1 as well as my grandmother (moms mom) but still nobody put 2 and 2 together. I certainly didn't.
Then I got married. I got married even though we fought a lot before we married... lol, who does that? I do love her though. She has put up with me for 21 years. I have put her through the ringer many times. She is no peach to live with either so it's ok. She has this ability to recall everything that I've done since we met. Amazing! I hate it.
I got my Associates degree in Computer Info Systems. Took some technical training classes. Then I managed to get a good job. I worked hard and made a lot of money. Then during one of my particularly great manic highs I got my 2nd DUI which drove me way down to the verge of mentioning suicide. This surprised me because I have always been against suicide because it is the most selfish thing a person can do. With that my wife insisted that I see a pdoc or she was going to have me committed... so she said. So that's what I did. And that's when it clicked.
I was first started out on Zoloft and Wellbutrin to treat depression by my general practitioner. 2 years later when those meds didn't do anything but scramble my brain I went to see a pdoc. He tested me and diagnosed me as BP2. So now for 8 years I've taken Lithium. I took Li, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin for 7 years and then I weaned myself off the zoloft and Wellbutrin because I didn't understand why I was even taking them. I should have done that years ago because my mind cleared and I became easier to live with. I might even still have my $60K per year job.
Lithium works. As long as I remember to take it as prescribed. It keeps me on that even keel. The problem I have is that it keeps me at a constant malaise... just above depression or right at the edge of it. I have the desire to do stuff but I am reluctant to do it. I want desperately to do things. I am a very smart person. I know how to do so much. I am an accomplished house painter, inside and out. I am accomplished at office automation support. Computer repair, HW and SW. Remote support is what I am best at. I can roof, build, hang and tape drywall, landscape, and on and on. I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't get a job because people don't want to hire a 49 year old dude with an attitude. People say that I should be more upbeat when I go into an interview. That is easy for people not on Lithium to say. Even my wife says it.
As of last week my pdoc put me back on a low dose of Wellbutrin. Maybe that will get my motor running enough to move more.

Anyone else have this issue?

First off, welcome Suddz. As bad as it sounds, it is good to be diagnosed so you can have effective treatment. I was on Lithium for quite some time and prozac for quite some time and I stayed in a light depression. Eventually they added Lamictal and Wellbuterin and I have a fairly good success with the cocktail. Eventually they took me off the Prozac and the Lithium and I'm still doing pretty good. The thing is, each med change is trial and error. The best you can do is try it and be honest with your pdoc about how you feel and your behavior. Some ppl luck up quite early and others take quite some time to get the right med cocktail. I'll keep my fingers crossed the Wellbuterin works for you.

I am on Lithium and do not have it. In fact, I am about to start my first painting project - paint a wooden table red for my balcony. I have already bought exterior paint at OSH, and am waiting for a raining spell to end so that I can begin working. Can I then ask you questions?

I had horrible general malaise on Topamax and didn't refill the prescription after the first month.

What is your dosage and have you considered lowering it? That would be my first step if I were in your shoes. I lowered Topamax to the smallest dose before discontinuing. I had malaise even on the minimum dose.

Welcome to PC, Suddz! I've never been on Lithium. Currently I'm only on the generic form of Cymbalta. In the past, at various times, I've been on Prozac, Paxil, Abilify, Lamictal, Lexapro, Effexor, Klonopin & some other stuff I can't even recall the names of. Yes, even on just the Cymbalta, I live pretty much in a haze most of the time. It's just the way it is... life as a crazy person...

Glad to have you. I've been a lucky lady. My body does well on Lithium and in fact most have it. I was tapered off it and had an episode two weeks later. I resulted in me being hospitalized. I had to get back on Lithium. I hate your going through the experience and agree you should lower your dosage.

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I've never been on lithium, but I can relate to feeling on the edge of depression all the time. I don't know if it's caused by meds or just the illness, but it sucks. I hope the wellbutrin helps you.

Im on Lithium and it works as far as not being manic, but i also feel like im on the edge of depression, Im not like super depressed but Im not as happy as others I feel....I don't cry anymore I think its made me not emotional. im seeing my pdoc friday and im going to mention these things..maybe we both need a small reduction in meds..who knows...Guess we can't have things perfect!