[Crazy Hitch]

I think I give up on my pdoc. I've been with him since last year and I still don't quite feel myself. I see him once weekly and he's forever changing doses of medication or introducing a medication or taking one out or reintroducing it. I never know whats going to hit me next.

I just don't feel like myself. I remained med free for four years and was relatively stable before having a full blown manic episode last year. It was horrible. I then fell in to a deep depression then a mixed episode. And then a mild hypomania episode this year. All whilst on so called medication when I was never like this off meds.

Right now I feel like a walking zombie. I have no ambition or zest.

And now to the point. My work have sent me a 3 page letter expressing concern over how sick and unwell I have looked every day this year. Since the start of this year I've been experiencing major anxiety. This has dissipated somewhat since the introduction of seroquel around 2 weeks ago. But basically my work are asking me to consider one of 3 options.

Remain on a 0.9 time fraction thAt I am currently on. Or go on a 0.4 time fraction (as if I'd just cut my salary in half) or take a payout package until June leaving now (and seriously as if I'd take that option!!!!!!!!!)

I have never received a warning letter. I have never been put on performance review so they have nothing against me. I go to work. I do my job. I'm a teacher.

My biggest mistake I reckon was disclosing my illness to them last year. I should never have do e that because it's as if they are going out of their way to look for signs when right now I am not even having an episode.

My current pdoc (who my husband says he wants me to "fire") says my mood is stable now and the school can't just fire me on mental health grounds.

I just feel really uncomfortable with the letter. It's like the school wants me out.

Sorry for venting but I just needed an outlet and a place to express my feelings. I am feeling so disappointed in myself. I used to be so much more than this.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

[Trippin2.0]

I relate to the symptoms being worse on meds, and quality of life declining on them too.

Its heartbreaking, I read your story and its like looking into yesterday's mirror.

Don't give up, except for your pdoc though, definitly give up on him. The fact that he wants to mess around with your brain chemistry every other week is scary. Sounds like he thinks his meds are magic and should work instantly.

I'm really sorry youe going through all this

[Curiosity77]

Facing professional problems because of illness is awful. I'm a nurse practitioner, and i was suspended for 6 months a couple years ago due to mental illness. It was humiliating, and i felt like i'd never get past it. It has been really hard and an uphill battle, but i have been able to get back to work and get my career back on track. Hang in there, you can get through this. PM me if you want to talk.

Also, i have been through many med changes, and it sucks. I feel for you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[frustratedbymeds]

What about checking into filing for disability....we all need to contribute to the family budget, but sometimes our health is more important. The fact that your employer doesn't seem to understand what it's like to have a mental illness and is giving ultimatums is not going to help your anxiety. Do what is right for you....you're the most important one here.

Originally Posted by Hooligan

I think I give up on my pdoc. I've been with him since last year and I still don't quite feel myself. I see him once weekly and he's forever changing doses of medication or introducing a medication or taking one out or reintroducing it. I never know whats going to hit me next.

I just don't feel like myself. I remained med free for four years and was relatively stable before having a full blown manic episode last year. It was horrible. I then fell in to a deep depression then a mixed episode. And then a mild hypomania episode this year. All whilst on so called medication when I was never like this off meds.

Right now I feel like a walking zombie. I have no ambition or zest.

And now to the point. My work have sent me a 3 page letter expressing concern over how sick and unwell I have looked every day this year. Since the start of this year I've been experiencing major anxiety. This has dissipated somewhat since the introduction of seroquel around 2 weeks ago. But basically my work are asking me to consider one of 3 options.

Remain on a 0.9 time fraction thAt I am currently on. Or go on a 0.4 time fraction (as if I'd just cut my salary in half) or take a payout package until June leaving now (and seriously as if I'd take that option!!!!!!!!!)

I have never received a warning letter. I have never been put on performance review so they have nothing against me. I go to work. I do my job. I'm a teacher.

My biggest mistake I reckon was disclosing my illness to them last year. I should never have do e that because it's as if they are going out of their way to look for signs when right now I am not even having an episode.

My current pdoc (who my husband says he wants me to "fire") says my mood is stable now and the school can't just fire me on mental health grounds.

I just feel really uncomfortable with the letter. It's like the school wants me out.

Sorry for venting but I just needed an outlet and a place to express my feelings. I am feeling so disappointed in myself. I used to be so much more than this.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

[r010159]

My biggest mistake I reckon was disclosing my illness to them last year. I should never have do e that because it's as if they are going out of their way to look for signs when right now I am not even having an episode.

I agree with this. But the mistake has been made. Now you need to move forward and consider your options. Not necessarily the ones they gave you, but the ones you can create for yourself. I do believe one thing. Keep in mind I am no expert on this. So you may want to consult a lawyer. But I believe that as long as you are able to keep your performance up, they will not fire you. They know you can then sue them. They will do everything they can do to protect themselves from this. I think I would now approach them for some concessions. Negotiate with them. You need to show them that you are cooperating with them. Meanwhile, I would also be looking for another job. This is what I would do.

Just FWIW. I hope this helps!