[jesusplay]

I went inpatient for 10 days during christmas for SI intent....I'm still depressed

earlier this month I went hypomanic, then normal all in a 4 day span.

Now I'm just depressed, constantly thinking about suicide.

googling how to kill myself.

But I know I'm not gonna kill myself this time.

I'm crying, constant headaches.

I'm bipolar but I never stay on the up-side of the spectrum.

Since I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone else should be I going to an inpatient psych ward?

[wildflowerchild25]

I suppose it would be up to you. Sometimes people go even if they don't think they are in danger because they are suffering too much and want help. Although it would be harder to get in if you're not suicidal. That's really what it's there for. I you think you can control yourself I wouldn't go, but then I have a lot to lose by going in so I only concede if I know I'm in serious danger.

[Curiosity77]

You don't have to be suicidal or a risk to other people to benefit from a hospitalization. Go in if you feel like you need to and if you think it will help. They can look after your basic needs, like food, and they can adjust your meds. Personally, I hated being in hospital, but it helped in some ways, and it made things worse in other ways. What are you hoping they will do for you in hospital?

[r010159]

How well are you holding up? If you are suffering a lot, and do not know how much more you can take, then I definitely would go to the intake of a hospital psych ward. They can help you decide if a hospitalization is warranted. I almost did this. But soon after this thought, I cycled back down from my mania. But I did come very close to this.

[Victoria'smom]

I only plan to go if my therapist suggests it. If I think it may be time to go I'll take my prn. For 2 days and then redetermain if I should call. I generally get quick med adjustments and a wait. I'm deathly afraid of hospital's though.I'm usually a risk to others though. No matter what my urge for control and freedom over powers any episode that I have.

You need to make the discussion when hospitalization is nessisarry don't let it get to the point that others have to make you go.

[Bipolarchic14]

I am going through the same thing you are Jesus play...my therapist briefly mentioned going to the hospital one time and I am scared to death of it...now I am afraid to express how intense some of these feelings get and I feel like even with a therapist and p-doc, I have to deal with it on my own.

[Nightside of Eden]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

...now I am afraid to express how intense some of these feelings get

Yup. I've never been threatened with hospitalization, but then I've never told the truth when I was feeling like I might hurt myself or someone else. I'd rather play it very, very safe then end up being very, very sorry. It sucks having to hide so much, though, but it's the only way to protect myself.

[hamster-bamster]

Constant headaches alone could make one think of suicide. Have you seen a GP or a neurologist about constant headaches? That would be something I'd try first.

Also, you might be dehydrated - if you do not take care of yourself, then you do not drink enough fluids, and that can easily cause constant headaches.

Depends on the hospital, if you have private cover they arnt awful, still never fun but arnt as bad as public wards. Im inpatient in a private clinic now but I am actively suicidal (literally just been drugged again and may be transferred to a locked ward tonight), there is only so much they can do for you.

[Bipolarchic14]

I am sorry to hear that supernova...I hope they are able to help you!

[angelicgoldfish05]

jesusplay, when you were released from your previous stay did you have any follow up treatment plan with outpatient providers? Are you currently on any medications? For me, I wouldn't go to a hostpital unless someone made me, but then again I don't have insurance. It's a great question, cause you don't want to let things get to a point where they are so bad, like if you know you have a broken arm, you would want to go get that thing taken care of - x-rayed and put in a cast and such. Really depends on what other options you have regarding outpatient care and insurance IMHO. Spirit be with you and keep us posted~

[jesusplay]

Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05

jesusplay, when you were released from your previous stay did you have any follow up treatment plan with outpatient providers? Are you currently on any medications? For me, I wouldn't go to a hostpital unless someone made me, but then again I don't have insurance. It's a great question, cause you don't want to let things get to a point where they are so bad, like if you know you have a broken arm, you would want to go get that thing taken care of - x-rayed and put in a cast and such. Really depends on what other options you have regarding outpatient care and insurance IMHO. Spirit be with you and keep us posted~

since I've been out I've been seeing a therapist every week.

the last 2 weeks shes out of town and I don't want to talk to anyone else but her and I have to wait until next week so thats 3 weeks without my therapist.

I'm on there "high risk" for suicide list.

I also was seeing a pdoc frequently but the last appointment he made out next meeting in 3 months, I told him I was still depressed as **** and he just refilled my lithium and seroquel and recommended I read a ****ing book thats a memoir about bipolar woman

[jesusplay]

I haven't showered in over a week and I haven't brushed my teeth in 2 weeks

[angelicgoldfish05]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

since I've been out I've been seeing a therapist every week.

the last 2 weeks shes out of town and I don't want to talk to anyone else but her and I have to wait until next week so thats 3 weeks without my therapist.

I'm on there "high risk" for suicide list.

I also was seeing a pdoc frequently but the last appointment he made out next meeting in 3 months, I told him I was still depressed as **** and he just refilled my lithium and seroquel and recommended I read a ****ing book thats a memoir about bipolar woman

jesusplay, how are you doing? Glad to hear you have a good T who you can talk to and sorry to hear she is out of town. How long till you see her next? Depression can be horribly debilitating but the smallest steps are so important. What is one small step you can take today for your recovery? Sending you encouragement and strength. Hang in there, don't give up.

[jesusplay]

Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05

jesusplay, how are you doing? Glad to hear you have a good T who you can talk to and sorry to hear she is out of town. How long till you see her next? Depression can be horribly debilitating but the smallest steps are so important. What is one small step you can take today for your recovery? Sending you encouragement and strength. Hang in there, don't give up.

still the same today isn't as bad as when i posted, but it's still bad.

after 3 weeks I should see my therapist this week.

[r010159]

Hang in there! Help is on its way!