Things are FINALLY starting to look up

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (recently downgraded to bipolar 1) after my first HUGE psychotic break which ended in the neighbors calling the cops on me for 'bizarre behavior' which landed me in the back of a cop car and a two weeks plus involuntary hold (5250) in the lock down unit at the psychiatric hospital. Since this was my first episode experiencing psychosis, it was VERY scary and my life changed for the worse once I was released. I not only lost my job, but I gained 50 lbs from the anti-psychotic medication which, in turn, caused me to develop hypothyroidism. In addition, my boyfriend at the time ran for the hills and my friends no longer wanted anything to do with me. I felt like I was completely damaged (an outcast) and I would never be the same again. I suffered a severe depression after the mania subdued (failed suicide attempted which once again landing me in the hospital) but I made a choice: I could allow the bipolar disorder to control me (or define me) or I could take control of it and not let it define me as a person. I have biploar; I'm not bipolar. Unfortunately, because there is so much stigma around mental illness, Ive experienced first hand that people are quick to label you or judge you if you have the bipolar label. I no longer share/tell anybody that I have bipolar. I've learned to keep it a secret.

I applied for SSDI (right after my failed suicide attempt when I felt there was no hope) and shortly after submitting my SSDI appliation, I was offered a very high paying contract position with a Global IT Company. I jumped at the chance and (I know this doesn't happen much) but my request for SSDI was approved. I turned it down and decided to keep working. Since I've been working (and was hired on as a full time employee half way through my contract) my mood/outlook on life has improved significantly (with no medication since I was a contractor with no healthcare benefits (pre-Obamacare and with pre-existing conditions, healthcare was too pricey in the open market) and with other methods (eliminating processed foods, regular exercise, sleep, sticking to a schedule, getting a dog, gardening, music, art, etc.) I'm starting to feel like my 'pre-schizoaffective/pre-bipolar 1' diagnosed self

I just wanted to share an update about my ongoing success/improvement because I know it's tough when you're at your lowest low and you feel like there is no hope or way out or when your mind is racing so fast that you want to literally jump out of your skin OR in my case, you are so paranoid that people are reading/hearing your thoughts or the government (NSA) is bugging your house (which really isn't too far off, right?) and your family and friends are plotting against you...which all can be very scary, things WILL improve. I promise

I am glad things are improving for you. Our stories sound similar.
i had just applied for SSI and then was offered a job. Benefits too.
After losing being diagnosed with having type 1 bipolar and severe PTSD I lost my family, job, House... everything and ended up being homeless for about 4 months.
SOld my plasma to pay for my meds. It was about as low as i could get. and now things are looking up.
Here's to life getting better.
Peace

Chris

I'm really happy for you. I hope one day I will be able to get back to work as well. Thanks for sharing.

That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!