paranoia killed 2 13 year friendships

And has made my marriage extremely shaky. I made him killed his friendships with the same people. Now I have no one to talk to that really knows me. This sucks :'(

I'm sorry. Is it possible to talk to your friends and let them know why you were acting strangely? You might discontinue friendships in a different way than I do, I apologize if you can't relate to this, but when I'm depressed I just abandon all of my friendships, stop talking to people, stop doing anything to maintain the friendships. And my friends move on, and I start to feel like they hate me because I'm sitting here suffering and no one is even checking to see if I'm ok. And that makes it almost impossible to reach out.

But last week I wound up in the hospital with a medical issue and I called my friend (our last interaction just before I stopped talking to people was pretty much an argument) and she was right there.

If your friends are close and have seen you through this, maybe they understand more than you think? In the meantime, there are lots of people here for you.

I felt my husband was going to cheat on me with the friend. Others would see it as that too if they didnt know us. Usually I don't quickly jump to negitive conclusions like that. I was already paranoid that he was attempting to help his family make my life a living hell. That's why he offered to let me look through his text. That was the first one up. I made him pick them or me. He said his good byes and choose me. Then erased there phone numbers, and facebooks. I said my goodbyes today, tried to explain and erased them from my life too.

The problem is I know that this is the rational response for others but I don't know if its a rational responds for my typical mood.

((MM))

There are two points in your favour:
1. You know you are being irrational
2. You know that it's hurting you

What action are you going to take?

I would definitely talk to them about what you have been going through. If you guys have been friends for this long, they will hopefully be understanding.

Because now I'm extremely hurt (even though its irrational) I can't deal with them. I did tell the girl that it is probably the paranoia but not right now.

Honestly, I took my PRN Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Honestly I really don't know what to do other then waiting it out. Which I have no idea when it'll end. I do have to make an appointment with my psychiatrist I was suppose to make one a month ago but didn't because of my depression. I see T on Monday .

When the dust settles, perhaps you AND husband, jointly, can write notes to the lost friends quickly explaining away the recent actions and offering an olive branch. If you make a card by hand (michaels offers supplies and classes on making cards), the added touch will hopefully melt their hearts. Alternatively, Papyrus cards sold at Target and wonderfully original cards sold at world market cost plus provide that touch of thoughtfulness without handmaking. It is an era of electronics in which the human touch of a special snailmailed card is appreciated. I have mended several relationships this way. It didn't work for all, but worked for most.