Memory

hamster-bamster · Apr 06, 2014, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by r010159

I have had significant memory problems. I could not remember significant events in my past, my vocabulary in conversations was quite limited to simple words, and I spent allot of time finding the right word that only stood there on the tip of my tounge which stopped me in the middle of sentences. I often could not tell you what I did earlier in the day. I have been this way for several years!

I am on a different med cocktail now. I remember words like "instigate" and use it properly in a sentence at the moment I need it. I know what I did earlier in the day and even the day before this one. I am beginning to remember the specifics of events that happened in my life many years ago. And I can think through things of simple to moderate complexity.

What happened? I do not know! But it may have been the combination of medications that I had been on, or the result of a mind that was "disturbed" with mood swings and the associated cognitive deficits.

What do all of you think?

Topamax in the past but not now?

r010159 · Apr 06, 2014, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Topamax in the past but not now?

There was a time, I dare say, about 15 years ago when I medicated myself. My first choice was Topomax. This worked. When I began seeing pdocs, I was given Lamictal by one, and a combination of Fluoxetine and Zaprexa by the second pdoc. Now I am on a combination of all three.

Please note that I decided to go to a pdoc because of the risks I was taking by medicating myself.

hamster-bamster · Apr 06, 2014, 01:55 AM

How did you get Topamax as a self medication? Doesn't it cost about 600$ a month and require a prescription?

Read why people have dubbed it Dopamax. You might find it interesting.

Apr 06, 2014, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I didn't realize that but it makes perfect sense. I will store mine in the fridge, too.

Some of my supplements say that they should be stored in a cool, dry place. Refrigerating fish oil helps prevent fishy burps, and keeps the oil from going rancid. Probiotics are better off in the fridge too. I can't think of any meds that would suffer from refrigeration (I'm not sticking them in the freezer, after all).

r010159 · 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

How did you get Topamax as a self medication? Doesn't it cost about 600$ a month and require a prescription?

Read why people have dubbed it Dopamax. You might find it interesting.

I can be creative when feeling the urgency to do something. I went to Mexico, there I can get it relatively inexpensively. I would take the drugs across the border when customs were more lenient with unscheduled substances.

[questionable stuff related to forum policy deleted]

Please do not try this. This approach will not work anymore. I did this when a once in a lifetime type of job came my way from one of the largest law firms in another state. So I felt I had to do something. This was before disability and Medicare insurance. My current pdoc is aware of my past exploits.

Hbomb0903 · Apr 06, 2014, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by r010159

I have had significant memory problems. I could not remember significant events in my past, my vocabulary in conversations was quite limited to simple words, and I spent allot of time finding the right word that only stood there on the tip of my tounge which stopped me in the middle of sentences. I often could not tell you what I did earlier in the day. I have been this way for several years!

I am on a different med cocktail now. I remember words like "instigate" and use it properly in a sentence at the moment I need it. I know what I did earlier in the day and even the day before this one. I am beginning to remember the specifics of events that happened in my life many years ago. And I can think through things of simple to moderate complexity.

What happened? I do not know! But it may have been the combination of medications that I had been on, or the result of a mind that was "disturbed" with mood swings and the associated cognitive deficits.

What do all of you think?

I think it has to be a combination of meds and the manifestation of the disorder. I find that when I'm depressed the cognitive problems are greatly enhanced and my memory is terrible for short-term but I find old memories resurface much more than when I'm baseline or hypo.

I also take clonazepam and it definitely can affect my memory in higher doses. I call xanax the "memory eraser" because back in the day when I was younger, binge-drinking, and didn't give a fig about my bs "BP diagnosis", as I called it, I would get told about all the crazy **** I did while I was on it and not remember a thing. Pretty scary.

littlemiss44 · Apr 06, 2014, 02:44 PM

I have horrible memory problems! Really bad. I think it is related to my abusive childhood. I think I have disassociative amnesia but my t doesn't think so. I have so many blocks of time. My best friend and I used to discuss a certain subject and years later she brought it up and I couldn't even remember the subject! It was very embarrassing even tho she doesn't judge me. I wish that I had Better memory. I can't even recall my children's childhood. Really sad.

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x_BabyG_x · Apr 06, 2014, 04:30 PM

I had a bad crash last year and can't remember a single thing between about feb - October time... Shocking! During the day too I was bad with memory... I resembled a goldfish, mind was racing!

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r010159 · Apr 06, 2014, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

I have horrible memory problems! Really bad. I think it is related to my abusive childhood. I think I have disassociative amnesia but my t doesn't think so. I have so many blocks of time. My best friend and I used to discuss a certain subject and years later she brought it up and I couldn't even remember the subject! It was very embarrassing even tho she doesn't judge me. I wish that I had Better memory. I can't even recall my children's childhood. Really sad.

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You know how many times this has happened to me? I thought I was basically alone in this.

littlemiss44 · Apr 06, 2014, 11:34 PM

You aren't alone! It makes my depression that much worse. I cry as I think about it.

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outlaw sammy · Apr 07, 2014, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

I have horrible memory problems! Really bad. I think it is related to my abusive childhood. I think I have disassociative amnesia but my t doesn't think so. I have so many blocks of time. My best friend and I used to discuss a certain subject and years later she brought it up and I couldn't even remember the subject! It was very embarrassing even tho she doesn't judge me. I wish that I had Better memory. I can't even recall my children's childhood. Really sad.

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Hi LM44!

I have been diagnosed with DISSOCIATIVE AMNESIA caused by an extremely violent situation which was intended to kill me - but I survived much to the disappointment of my greatest enemy (who's receiving lessons on respect). What's interesting however, is that most of these chunks of my memory that have fallen off my hard drive are totally unrelated to the assault. It seems that dissociative amnesia can affect one's memory of other non-connected experiences. I'm hunting for "association triggers" to help me recover much of what was lost.

littlemiss44 · Apr 07, 2014, 05:40 PM

Thank you for explaining dissociative amnesia. I feel like I block out so many memories that are horrible from my childhood. It sounds like you truly have it. I'm sorry for what you went thru. My life feels like one blank page.

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outlaw sammy · Apr 08, 2014, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

Thank you for explaining dissociative amnesia. I feel like I block out so many memories that are horrible from my childhood. It sounds like you truly have it. I'm sorry for what you went thru. My life feels like one blank page.

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YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS !!!!! But I'm a scientist (MS - Chemist) who never believed in dissociative amnesia (a.k.a. repressed memory) until it has happened to me. I was watching a crime show where the only survivor of a serial killer-rapist was being interviewed, and she said, "I wasn't there during the actual assault, I don't know where (my mind) was, but I wasn't there, and I've never returned. I haven't any memory at all of what happened." To myself I said, "Damn I wonder what that's like?" Be careful what you wish for . . .

littlemiss44 · Apr 08, 2014, 12:06 PM

That's really interesting! I just want answers as to why my memories are so repressed. I've been thru a huge trauma and I don't remember being there. Worse than that my parents put me down and told me it never happened. That just makes the pain that much harder. Thx for sharing yr story. It lets me know I'm not so alone.

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outlaw sammy · Apr 08, 2014, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

That's really interesting! I just want answers as to why my memories are so repressed. I've been thru a huge trauma and I don't remember being there. Worse than that my parents put me down and told me it never happened. That just makes the pain that much harder. Thx for sharing yr story. It lets me know I'm not so alone.

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MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU !!!!!!! It's tough enough to survive a traumatic event that leaves you suffering from dissociative amnesia - BUT to have loved ones, relatives, friends, etc. say that the traumatic event didn't happen is twisting the blade buried in your heart. If you'd like, I'll come over there and beat them up for you.

littlemiss44 · Apr 08, 2014, 06:10 PM

Hey you made me laugh so hard...I needed that. I'd love for you to come beat them up for me. They need a reality check that's for sure!

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crazycatlady_83 · Apr 14, 2014, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Go Hungry

I have terrible memory problems. I can't remember names of people I've worked with for 9 years. And the whole, "did I take my meds yet?" or "did I just have a smoke" thing is terrible. I adopted patterns for some of those things, like leaving my bathroom mirror cracked when I've taken them so I'll remember not to take them again. That sort of thing can help, leaving yourself clues... In terms of long-term memory, I'm excellent at remembering the bad stuff.. It's the good that's gotten lost along the way..

A few years ago, I had pill boxes with a spot for each day of the week. I actually had two...one for morning and one for evening. At the end of the week, my husband would fill it back up so it was ready to go.

crazycatlady_83 · Apr 14, 2014, 10:32 PM

I have a terrible memory now. I never thought that it could be caused by the bp alone, I always assumed it was the medications. I've been trying to keep track of how much sleep I get, and how many times I wake up during the night, but I can't always remember, even that morning. Usually, I'm able to remember the night before what I want to remember. And there are times I have to reach back in my mind to "see" if I took my meds. There's usually something I did or looked at that as I took it that I have to see to remember. It's especially frustrating when it feels like I didn't take it but actually did...my jaw clenches and I feel jittery. Makes me doubt myself.

I'm also in school so it's super frustrating to not have the memory. I have to read the chapter, and take notes on it so it sticks better.

matti2u · Apr 15, 2014, 09:50 PM

Can totally relate. I have been it a really bad fog today. Having trouble remembering just simple things that I do on a daily basis. I feel like everything is slow motion today. Just coming off a manic episode, which I think is making it worse.

sindee007 · Apr 17, 2014, 02:48 AM

I think it has to do with the meds. I stop taking my meds 3 months ago & its gotten better. Before every morning I was looking for my keys. Try one of those brain training apps. I use lumosity.

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