Changes in symptoms as years go by

r010159 · Apr 14, 2014, 01:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Innerzone

Worse, yes. More entrenched and the lows got even lower (like serious depression for nearly a year sort of thing). Panic attacks appeared too. I don't remember (non-situational) panic like that when younger. Wanting to crawl out of skin agitation, don't really remember that happening as much when younger.

My depression became worse, the worst I have had it since ny one terrible episode 30 years ago.

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Finally getting on meds a few years ago has helped. Not perfect, but better for sure. But I'd have to say the worst thing was the appearance of mixed. I'd never been scared of my symptoms before (and no, not even sui). Embarrassed, amused, mortified, annoyed, regretful etc. yes, but not personally scared of. (By mixed, we're not talking about emotions getting bounced around to extremes or even shifts exasperatingly frequent (I've read people talk about it this way, experienced those things, and yeah, those suck, but...) We are talking about mixed as in extremes happening simultaneously on and on and on. It was a hell I could not have possibly imagined in my wildest nightmares.

For nearly 30 years that had never happened. Not on anything approaching that intensity/scale/duration.

I have experienced my first mixed episode this year. It was a real nightmare. I also have had rapid shifts in mood.

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I can't think of a single thing that has mellowed out or disappeared (edited to add, oh yes, rage. I still have it, but not wildly inappropriate as often). At least now I know what I'm dealing with. I didn't then. (So had mountains of guilt and self-reproach that I just didn't have enough self-control to pull it together).

(I lose time a lot too, grandmaof3.

Time, words, orientation, what season it is, you name it. I don't know why either. Most bewildering is how much it varies. Some days I'm just a bit of a space cadet, other days…. yikes.)

All of this has been true for me! I know what you mean! Now that I am on a good mood stabilizer for BP II, my meds have helped allot.

Hang in there!

grandmaof3 · Apr 14, 2014, 07:39 PM

I am seeing my pdoc tomorrow. Im going to talk to him about my lost time. Ive been on the same medication for awhile now. Since my symptoms are getting worse maybe its time to change meds. But changing meds makes me real nervous. What if things get worse ?

Apr 15, 2014, 09:11 AM

Yes, changing medications is always nerve wracking, at least for me. There's always an adjustment period during which I don't feel quite "normal". And sometimes it's difficult to tell what's causing what. It can be a confusing time. Hope your med change goes smoothly, if you decide to go that route...

grandmaof3 · Apr 15, 2014, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Yes, changing medications is always nerve wracking, at least for me. There's always an adjustment period during which I don't feel quite "normal". And sometimes it's difficult to tell what's causing what. It can be a confusing time. Hope your med change goes smoothly, if you decide to go that route...

Well I saw my pdoc and he decreased my zyprexa. He told me that losing time was not really that uncommon and he didn't think my meds are causing it. He referred me to a neurologist.

Apr 15, 2014, 06:41 PM

Yes, after a while it gets to the point where it's hard to know what's causing what. My pdoc just added an old blood pressure med to the Cymbalta I already take. This old blood pressure med, Clonidine, is given nowadays to people with PTSD. It's supposed to calm nightmares. So far it seems to be helping... I've only been on it for 4 days now. But I've noticed a couple of new symptoms over the past couple of days. I get this kind-of fluttery feeling on the surface of my chest when I'm outside working or walking our dog. It's just on the surface of the skin not inside as though it were something involving the heart. Of course, it's also only been the last few days that the weather was such that I could do much outside. Anyway, now I don't know if this is related to the new medication I'm taking, the combination of the new med with what I've been taking right along, or something else altogether. It's a conundrum! Perhaps the neurologist will be able to help you figure out the reason for your time loss... hope so!

grandmaof3 · Apr 15, 2014, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Yes, after a while it gets to the point where it's hard to know what's causing what. My pdoc just added an old blood pressure med to the Cymbalta I already take. This old blood pressure med, Clonidine, is given nowadays to people with PTSD. It's supposed to calm nightmares. So far it seems to be helping... I've only been on it for 4 days now. But I've noticed a couple of new symptoms over the past couple of days. I get this kind-of fluttery feeling on the surface of my chest when I'm outside working or walking our dog. It's just on the surface of the skin not inside as though it were something involving the heart. Of course, it's also only been the last few days that the weather was such that I could do much outside. Anyway, now I don't know if this is related to the new medication I'm taking, the combination of the new med with what I've been taking right along, or something else altogether. It's a conundrum! Perhaps the neurologist will be able to help you figure out the reason for your time loss... hope so!

Thanks. I hope so its really disconcerting. I can't get in to see the neurologist for two weeks. My pdoc said he will probably do a mri and a PET scan and an EEG. Now I just have to figure out how Im going to pay for all that. My wonderful Obamacare approved health insurance has a $6000 deductible before they pay anything. SO much for affordable care.

Moreta · Apr 16, 2014, 06:38 PM

My symptoms have gotten worse, and I'm turning 30 this year. I don't think I can handle them getting worse than they are now.

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Changes in symptoms as years go by

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