[Raindropvampire]

Long story short due to finances I am off all my psych meds until about June. I was hoping to be back on them this month but now it's looking like it will be June.

I am ready to snap my hubby like a twig if he tells me one more time I'm acting bipolar. Rationally I know it is his way of deflecting his bad behavior and pushing crap back onto me. Rationally I know that despite not being medicated I have been maintaining fairly well but have had a few missteps. I am a very self aware person. Even when I'm in a rage there's this detached part that is telling me calm down you're overreacting.

Today's fit is brought to us by peanut butter and lies. I went to the store with hubby two weeks ago and bought him this huge 128 oz container of peanut butter. He saw me eyeballing this all natural sweetened with raw honey PB that I like. He said get that for you. You always do without. Treat yourself and get it. I said nah you'll just end up eating it anyway there's no point in me getting it. He said I won't eat it. It'll be all yours. Heck I have a gallon of PB right here that little jar will be just for you. Do something for you BUY IT NOW!! So I bought it. Fast forward 2 weeks. I finally got a hankering for some PB and went to fix a sandwich. Nope. There was just enough left in the jar to make a VERY thin layer on a piece of bread. That was it. So I started crying. He basically lied right to my face at the store. My feelings were majorly hurt.

Hubby comes in asks what's wrong and I tell him you ate MY peanut butter. He says yeah I ate all mine and since you hadn't touched yours I figured you didn't want it. Then he said God why are you going to cry and act all bipolar, unreasonable and greedy? You're just trying to make me feel bad for being hungry and eating something. How bipolar and crazy can you get? Crying over some freaking PB?

At this point I was no longer crying. Something about being told I was acting bipolar and GREEDY by someone that had ate a gallon of PB in 2 weeks, lied to me and then taken something they said they wouldn't touch stuck in my craw. I went from hurt feelings to livid in about 2.5 seconds. Maybe that part is my bipolar or maybe it was simple indignation. Don't know and don't care.

All I know is this is the straw that broke the camel's back. He just thinks I'm "acting" bipolar he's about to see bipolar and crazy up close, live and personal. I am livid simply livid. That was this afternoon and I'm nowhere near calmed down. I do my utmost to keep myself in check. I double and triple check my feelings to see if I'm overreacting or if my reaction is reasonable. I filter myself to the point of having nothing left. No more I'm done trying. I'm done filtering. I'm done keeping myself in check. He wants crazy he's got it by the tail now.

[grandmaof3]

I can see why youre upset. I don't think a person would have to be bipolar to react that way in those circumstances. As far as people telling me Im acting bipolar it depends on the circumstances whether or not I get upset. Something like youre talking about I would be upset. But I do appreciate it if someone nicely tells me my behavior is out of step with reality. I try to be self aware but sometimes I may need a reminder and sometimes I need someone to tell me to take an Ativan or Haldol. Your husband needs to go out to the store and get some more pb and then apologize for eating it all. That's just my opinion and I might be wrong but if it were me in that situation that is what Id expect to happen.

[ginaaa22]

i think when spouses know there wife or husband is bipolar they blame any kind of emotional response as "being bipolar" I think your reaction was justifiable.

[Trippin2.0]

I probably would"ve introduced the empty PB jar to his head!!!!

I don't get told I'm acting bipolar, either because my family, friends and bf are not a.s.s.holes or because they know I'll react venemously. And it's not because I'm crazy, or bipolar it's because I demand respect.

Being disrespected, lied to and ridiculed will get my back up the wall in 10 seconds flat.

[Standup2me]

I agree with Trippin - respect is what it is all about

Rain - it sounds like he is playing the blame game with you

Greedy? No way. That was your treat and he wolfed it all down.
If anyone is greedy - it is him.

Go Rain Go!!!!

[wildflowerchild25]

My husband does this with soda. He will buy me a bottle of soda and if I don't drink it right away it will be gone by the time I go for it in the morning. He will also eat my leftovers without asking me. It's infuriating! He's totally clueless.

Because I know my husband is clueless, I might say that I don't think he lied to you. He probably legit thought you weren't goin to eat it. Saying he lied supposed some intention on his part. I don't think he thought it was going to be as big of a deal as it was.

HOWEVER he NEVER should have called you crazy and told you you're acting "bipolar". What does that even mean? You had a right to be upset - although I could see why he thought crying over peanut butter was overkill. He may not have understood your mental state. But that doesn't give him the right to belittle you or minimize your feelings.

That's a major trigger for me. When I feel like my husband is disrespecting my feelings, that's when we get in the worst fights. Much of the time I'm not angry at what he did, I'm angry because he's ignoring my feelings about the situation. Thankfully (for him) he never says I'm acting bipolar.

I understand your rage. Hopefully you'll be able to talk to him later and he will respect you more.

[venusss]

I think he is acting azzhole.

[BipolaRNurse]

Some of the worst fights my husband of 33 years and I have had were over this same issue. I could never just buy some treats and have one when I wanted it......he'd eat his portion, and then he'd eat mine too. But food is only a symbol of a much bigger problem, and that is RESPECT---I felt disrespected when he told me he'd leave my food alone and then eat it when he was out of whatever treats he had. Eventually he got the idea, and now he leaves my stuff alone (and as a reward, I usually wind up giving it to him).

Fortunately, he's never accused me of "acting bipolar" when I get after him about something. Sometimes he'll ask me if I've taken my meds, which offends me a little because I believe I am allowed to have NORMAL emotions. But otherwise, he's pretty good about the whole mess, and he often has some really good insight from years of dealing with me.

[shortandcute]

I've had my daughter do that a few times to me. Before I got my most recent diagnosis, she told me that I was acting delusional, and that all "that counseling" wasn't doing me any good. Recently she told me, "I've had to deal with your bipolar my whole life," and even more recently, "If you're having another one of your episodes, just please let me know."

[Raindropvampire]

YES!! It wasn't really the peanut butter that I was crying over. I was crying because he told me point blank Get it for you I won't touch it. This is just for you. Then he ate it anyway. I feel lied to and disrespected. And to be told that I'm greedy because I wanted what I was told was mine?? Then to be called crazy and told I'm acting bipolar on top of it? I feel flat out betrayed and I'm royally peeved off.

Today his big thing was it was crazy and I overreacted because this is a partnership and we shouldn't draw lines like mine and yours. Easy to say when you are the only one that gets anything! Jackhole

[grandmaof3]

I really know how you feel. My husband said to my daughter who is bipolar too "You need to stop acting like your mother. Shes crazy and I don't think you are crazy like she is." Of course my daughter told me what he said and it hurt my feelings because he was calling me crazy behind my back.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by grandmaof3

I really know how you feel. My husband said to my daughter who is bipolar too "You need to stop acting like your mother. Shes crazy and I don't think you are crazy like she is." Of course my daughter told me what he said and it hurt my feelings because he was calling me crazy behind my back.

Seriuosly?

[grandmaof3]

Originally Posted by shortandcute

Seriuosly?

He sure did. He's a recovering alcoholic and it got back to me that he talks about his "crazy wife" at AA meetings. It really pissed me off when I heard that I confronted him about it and he apologized and said that living with me is stressful at times but he loves me anyway.

[Raindropvampire]

Oh how tolerant of him. He loves you anyway. Like putting up with him has been a basket of kittens for you?

Bah don't listen to me I'm just still irritated right now and will find fault with any guy at the moment.

[shortandcute]

Oh, I hate it when someone says that: "Oh, you make my life miserable but I love you anyway, honey" like they're doing you some big favor or something. Well, don't do me any favors, I say! If I make you so unhappy, I'd rather you just shake the dust off your feet, and keep on walkin'! I don't need those kind of favors. If you really want to do me a favor, go be miserable without me.

[Raindropvampire]

Finally calmed down enough that I could talk to him without ripping his head off. He's schizophrenic and I asked him "How would you feel if I told you that you were acting schizophrenic and crazy?" "How would that make you feel?" He actually sat down and thought about it which is amazing for him. After about ten minutes he said "I wouldn't like it and I would think you were making very light of something very serious in my life." i won't bore you guys with the details but we had a long long talk.

I also was petty when I bought "treats" this week I got all the same kind and made sure it was my favorite. When he said something about it I told him that until he could learn to stay out of my treats I refused to EVER buy anything he liked again and it was all about me. I told him what do you expect from someone who's greedy? So far he has stayed out of my treat and only eaten his. Maybe talking to him and my being a bit selfish will get through.