[AllyIsHopeful]

I called my insurance to find out the diagnosis given by my psychiatrist and therapist and they told me "Manic Depressive Bipolar". I find this strange because my Therapist always tells me she does not believe I am bipolar.

I really have no problem with the diagnosis, if it is really my issue. I would like to know an honest diagnosis so I could receive the right kind of medication and care and life can start feeling better already! HOWEVER...I only ever experience extremely depressive states. When i do come out of them, I would not say I am elated or full of well-being, life, energy, etc. The moments my depression has eased up consisted of normal behavior like visiting friends and family again, enjoying most of the things I used to enjoy, being able to get out of bed and run errands, do housework...just the basics of a "normal life".

So I am not sure how he could have concluded I am Bipolar? Am I missing something? I honestly don't even feel I have experienced a hypomanic episode, so this is all just really mind boggling to me. It is very bothersome because my Psychiatrist put me on Depakote, which controls mania and impulse. The only thing I notice from Depakote is extra depression, lethargy, sleepiness, etc. I fear I am on a medication that is causing me harm and no good, but no matter how much I voice this concern to my doctor, he ignores it. He is such a great man and wonderful at his job, but he is often way too busy and I feel he misses key details.

Any advice and input would be so greatly appreciated, because I need help coping with this if it really is my diagnosis.

[angelicgoldfish05]

Hi Ally,
When I went into the psych hospital nearly two years ago, the doc there said it was bipolar, because I had the depressive episode as a teen. I don't know if I've ever experienced a manic episode, but the reason I was in the psych hospital was for a psychotic break and so I don't know how they diagnosed bipolar.
In all truth, I think that symptoms often overlap with different diagnoses, but for insurance purposes, the doc has to diagnose something.
In your case, it sounds like you think it may be more depression only as you say you haven't experienced a hypomanic episode. And then you're med you are on now is making you feel more depressed? That sounds awful and I'm sorry to hear that your doc is too busy to help you with getting on a correct med that will help and an accurate diagnosis.
The t I saw for follow-up after the psych hospital said that bipolar was difficult to diagnose and that she would need a good history from me. However, I stopped seeing her so I don't know what she would have concluded.
The p-doc I saw after the psych hospital was great. I told her I was feeling more depressed, sleepy and sluggish, so she took me off seraquel (what they had prescribed in the hospital, which helped there because it made me sleep finally), and put me on lamotrigine. However, I still felt depressed (kind of cyclically up and down) and not really "up" for any long length of time (like never for a whole day, for instance). And so now I have been off ALL the meds for going on three weeks because of not having insurance, and waiting for that to get going again through Obamacare, and also not believing they were doing anything to help me anymore. Hence I perhaps want to see a doc and ask about getting on wellbutrin again because it worked for me in the past (on two other occasions when I going through more depression). Wellbutrin was probably part of what helped me as a teen, but at that time, I was so heavily medicated on so many different things, who knows what helped or whatnot.

Well, I hope you can talk to your doctor about all this. It's not really fair to you if he is too busy to do his job regarding your care. Especially talk about the side effects and how they are making you feel. If the med isn't helping, I don't see why take it, because the side effects aren't worth it if they don't help you feel any benefit.

[Victoria'smom]

My husbands former psychiatrist had him labeled as depressed. Most antidepressants just made him mad. None of us (including his psychiatrist) realized the times he felt better were actually hypo mania. It was just a breather that he felt better for like a week.

A lot of us are on not just a mood stabilizer but also an antidepressant or two because once our mood stabilizes our "baseline" is to low. Then you got the other diagnosis that may need antidepressants ( I also have SAD). My personal opinion with myself is being solely treated with a mood stabilizer only fixes half the problem. So I will not go to a doctor that refuses to give bipolar an antidepressant. I feel doctors tend to worry more about the mania then the depression. When the client is usually more worried about the depression.

Most drs are to busy so you have to do your own research often. Is there an antidepressant that helped. It took 2 yes of messing around with meds to bring my husband out of his depression. He's on an AD, an AD booster/AP, and a low dose mood stabilizer. His main problem is depression. I'm on a low dose mood stabilizer and a low dose SNRI and a high dose SSRI /AP my problem with bipolar is the mania.

[wildflowerchild25]

I thought I was wrongly diagnosed for many years. I was dx'ed at age 18 and I was floored. I thought they were insane. I mean I was never what I would consider hypomanic. I was normal for some periods of time, and the. I would have depressive episodes, and some times I was totally agitated and angry, but never what you would would think was manic or even hypomanic. I scoffed. I took a whole bnch of different meds for a year until I ended up in a severe depression and agreed to ECT.

After the ECT I felt amazing. I felt happy for the first time in over a year and really for my entire adolescence. I was so hopeful and happy and energized. I did not consider it hypomania. Then I remember getting depressed again...then I definitely went back up. At the time I refused to recognize it. I went off meds and out of treatment completely for six years.

I achieved a lot in those six years, but now that I know what to look for I can see definite highs and definite lows. And definite mixed states where I was agitated, anxious, and irritable. Hypomania doesn't have to mean being happy. You might just be slightly more energized than normal. You also might be irritable, angry, and tearful.

Now that I see it, I'm mad at myself for never accepting it. I believe all the antidepressants I was on made things way worse. Had I been put on a mood stabilizer only I probably would have done much better and could have saved mysel a lot of pain.

But you also might have been misdiagnosed. I feel like bipolar II is over diagnosed but that's just my personal opinion. I'm not a doctor.

Depakote is not the only mood stabilizer out there. If you don't feel right on it, Ask for something else. If your pdoc won't listen, try to find a new one.

Good luck!

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05

In all truth, I think that symptoms often overlap with different diagnoses, but for insurance purposes, the doc has to diagnose something.
In your case, it sounds like you think it may be more depression only as you say you haven't experienced a hypomanic episode. And then you're med you are on now is making you feel more depressed? That sounds awful and I'm sorry to hear that your doc is too busy to help you with getting on a correct med that will help and an accurate diagnosis.

I agree with the overlapping symptoms observation. For me it is difficult to grasp because depression comes with irritability, anger, hopelessness, sadness, tears, etc. How do they figure it is "manic depressive" and I am having a "hypomanic" episode when I am going through a small period of irritability, versus calling it a symptom of depression?

I am going to see my doctor about removing Depakote from my regimen. I tried Lamictal for a couple months and that's when I recall feeling the best in terms of depression, so I'll give it a try again. Eventually I may just have to find a new pDoc, even though I love my current one.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Most antidepressants just made him mad. None of us (including his psychiatrist) realized the times he felt better were actually hypo mania. It was just a breather that he felt better for like a week.

I didn't consider that, actually. I wasn't aware that some people experience mania or hypomania in the form of anger/irritability. I also have had an issue with AD's making my fuse shorter and lead to isolation because I was tired of lashing out on friends and family.

I feel doctors tend to worry more about the mania then the depression. When the client is usually more worried about the depression.

This is EXACTLY how I am feeling about my current pDoc. I didn't realize it before, but I started catching on. I go to see him and I am in tears over how miserable I feel and how bad my depression is and he doesn't change a thing. He added a stimulant at one point but that's the most he's done. I swear to him the Depakote is making me more depressed and he refuses to take me off it. His initial explanation was "Depakote will decrease suicidal impulse".

Most drs are to busy so you have to do your own research often. Is there an antidepressant that helped. It took 2 yes of messing around with meds to bring my husband out of his depression. He's on an AD, an AD booster/AP, and a low dose mood stabilizer. His main problem is depression. I'm on a low dose mood stabilizer and a low dose SNRI and a high dose SSRI /AP my problem with bipolar is the mania.

I agree, I've done so much research but the problem has become my doctor not listening to me. I think I was getting better when I was on a mix of Wellbutrin and Lamictal, but I wanted to stop Lamictal because of the dangerous drinking risk and the "rash" issue made me uncomfortable, since I'm very sensitive to meds in general.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I took a whole bnch of different meds for a year until I ended up in a severe depression and agreed to ECT.

After the ECT I felt amazing. I felt happy for the first time in over a year and really for my entire adolescence. I was so hopeful and happy and energized. I did not consider it hypomania. Then I remember getting depressed again...then I definitely went back up. At the time I refused to recognize it. I went off meds and out of treatment completely for six years.

Thank you for all the information and advice! It is really helpful and gives me a new understanding of the diagnosis. I wasn't aware of hypomania showing in the form of irritability and tearfulness. I have had issues with both, but I am still up in the air as to whether they are symptoms of MDD or actually Bipolar II.

Were you nervous to try ECT? I have considered looking into it but after reading about it the whole procedure sounds terrifying and confusing to me. How did the procedure feel? You only had it done once, or is it ongoing for a period of time?

[Sad&Bipolar]

Hi AllyIsHopeful, If you think your dr.'s dx is incorrect, the insurance will allow you to see someone else for a second opinion.

As far as your dr. not having time for you, and missing key details, he may not be as wonderful at his job as you stated. Every client has the right to be heard. Being busy is no excuse for not being fully present for every client. When you schedule an appointment, ask for a 30 min. spot. Then you and the dr. will have the time to discuss your history and the negative effects of your medication.

A good tool for reviewing your history is to make a timeline of your life's major events. It will help you to see if at some times in the past you were very happy and very productive. You will remember things you don't normally think about, and those may be key in determining the right dx for you.

I was misdiagnosed as having major depression, and not correctly diagnosed as having Bipolar l until I was 57. I am often in a mixed state of depression and hypomania. I do not reach the extremes of mania; I do not go into euphoric states. Irritability shows up in my hypomanic states. Read a lot more about bipolar from different sources, and have a good discussion with your dr., or another dr. for a second opinion. You deserve to be heard!

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

Thank you for all the information and advice! It is really helpful and gives me a new understanding of the diagnosis. I wasn't aware of hypomania showing in the form of irritability and tearfulness. I have had issues with both, but I am still up in the air as to whether they are symptoms of MDD or actually Bipolar II.

Were you nervous to try ECT? I have considered looking into it but after reading about it the whole procedure sounds terrifying and confusing to me. How did the procedure feel? You only had it done once, or is it ongoing for a period of time?

I was completely terrified!! But after the year I had it was either that or I'd be sent to the state hospital at 19 years old. And since I'd already been in the state hospital for adolescents when I was fifteen I knew how horrible thy were, and I knew that the adult one would be triple terrible because I'd have to deal with adults much older than I. So I figured whatever.

They put you to sleep for the actual procedure so you don't feel it, but the anasthetic made me sick. I was basically non functional on the days I had ECT (mon, wed, fri). I would have it at 7am and be passed out until five PM. Also got a massive headache. But I am very sensitive to sedating medication. I know other people who were fine after a couple of hours.

I had three sessions a week. I had fifteen treatments. Some people have more, some have less. Some people have maintenance treatments but I wouldn't do that because of how sick the medicine makes me.

The worst part was the memory loss. I remember VERY little from my seven weeks in the hospital. I forgot a lot about high school (I was only a year out when I had ECT). I went on a very important overnight trip and I remember absolutely nothing about it. I forgot a lot of people's names, people I talked to every day. I forgot how to get around my home town - I'd never lived anywhere else - and had to relearn even how to get to my volunteer job that I had done for three years. My husband and I started dating as soon as I got out of the hospital and I don't remember a whole lot from our first year dating. I met a lot of people who remember me but I have no clue who thy are. It's embarrassing.

But the memory loss wore off after a year.

So when someone asks me I tell them that ECT did work - at a pretty steep price. I would only recommend it if all else has failed. I would only do it myself if nothing is touching my crushing depression. I've already been throug most meds so if I get into a deep depression that refuses to lift I'll probably do it again. I would try unilateral instead of bilateral though. Less memory loss.

Good luck! I hope you find the right treatment for you. If you can , gt a new pdoc. Yours sounds like a pompous jerk. Depakote isn't the only drug and he shouldn't ignore your suffering!