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#1
Apr 27, 2014, 02:24 AM
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I am so sick of brain and my emotions I have so many things going good for me I should be happy. And when I am it's great and then later on in the evening **** will hit the fan and I will be down again. I mean I hate saying but I hate myself deeply for the fact that I can be fine one minute and the next for no teal reason at all I am depressed sad and feel like ****. And I know I have no real reason for it. I feel so dis functI am so sick of brain and my emotions I have so many things going good for me I should be happy. And when I am it's great and then later on in the evening **** will hit the fan and I will be down again. I mean I hate saying but I hate myself deeply for the fact that I can be fine one minute and the next for no teal reason at all I am depressed sad and feel like ****. And I know I have no real reason for it. I feel so dis functional and broken. I an scared to death these mood swings effect me and boyfriend. And even with my crazy he tries to be there for me and love regardless I just know it has to be hard dealing with me like how. I guess as sad as it is I am surprised someone else can love, when I struggle with loving me as much as I doional and broken. I an scared to death these mood swings effect me and boyfriend. And even with my crazy he tries to be there for me and love regardless I just know it has to be hard dealing with me like how. I guess as sad as it is I am surprised someone else can love, when I struggle with loving me as much as I do
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA  for my father I think of you everyday
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#2
Apr 27, 2014, 03:51 AM
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I know how you feel. I go through the same issues and I'm thankful everyday that my wife finds the strength to put up with my moods and behaviors. I too have many nice things going for me. I have 3 healthy children and a loving wife and we live in a modest home in the suburbs. Not rich by any means but we're making it and I SHOULD be happy. For some reason though my brain decides to either get pissed or so depressed that I can't function. I hope things turn around for you. I struggle and fight everyday just to keep going and I know how exhausting it is.
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Everyone is a little f-ed up. Some are just more f-ed up then others.
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