[TheatreKid]

I'm sure others have experienced this pattern - make friends, get depressed, isolate, never talk to anyone, lose friends.

My friend cycle is right now compounded by the fact that the people I was closest to either don't live in my city for the summer or at all any more.

When I'm not depressed and isolating, I seem to do all the chasing. And then when someone finally initiates contact instead of waiting for me to do it, I'm either full of depression or anxiety and I can't do it.

I haven't really talked to my friends in months. Of the ones who still live in this city, one is no longer answering my texts, and the other is leaving on Thursday. She invited me to a dinner tonight with a bunch of people but I can't go. I texted her to ask if I could come by another time and drop off something I made for her but she's not answering. She's probably busy organizing dinner tonight though.

So I've basically lost or am about to lose all of my friends and I have no idea what to do. Even when I have them, I can't seem to manage friendships.

[Curiosity77]

I've had periods of time with lots of friends and a social group, but every time I get really sick I lose friends and have to start over again. I get self destructive and impulsive when I'm not well, and it's hard for most people to understand. I don't have a big group of friends right now, but I have a few good ones, so I'm lucky. My closest friends all have mental health problems - 2 are bipolar, and 1 has intermittent psychosis and addiction. We support each other, and they understand the struggles. We end up talking about symptoms and coping, but we also talk about other things. I have one close friend who doesn't have MI, but she is very understanding. She is usually traveling though, so I don't see her much. It can be hard to keep up with friendships because things get busy, and when I have time off sometimes I just want to stay home and isolate. It helps having friends who have gone through mood problems themselves. I can spend time with people who don't have an MI, but I can't totally relate to them because my bipolar influences so much of how I see the world and the things that have happened to me. I don't understand people who don't have any existential crises, life would be very different.

[TheatreKid]

Thanks, Curiosity77. I tend to make friends easily when I do theatre, I just get along with theatre people really well (like people with mental illness, they are usually able to appreciate weirdness) and the nature of theatre makes people performing together really close, but once the show is over I don't know how to keep up the friendship.

I'm unsure whether I'll be in university or college next year but there is a support group for students that meets at the university. I'm not sure if they run during the summer, but if they do, maybe I'll try to make some friends there.

[Victoria'smom]

I see my close friends 1-2x a year. We keep up through Facebook , text and things like that. We try to all take the same vacation for at least a week so we can all hang out. I know if they're needed (or if were needed) we can get there in about 7 he's. There have been several times that we drop everything. They know we drop off the face of the earth first snowfall but return in march. As day to day friends honestly as you get older I think they're a fairytale

[Supersonic]

Relationships in general seem to be too difficult to form and keep. For years before I was diagnosed I had this problem. It's easy for me to get along with most people, but I never extend myself enough to take what are "acquaintances" to the next step and create real friendships. I tend to live through my family. When my daughter & wife form friendships with families uI make the most of those. But those are really their friends and I'm just along for the ride. It's sad to regularly think and accept that I have no close friends aside from family. It's lonely.

[MagicsMom]

I've never had a lot of close friends after my 20's. Now that I'm in my 40's I have 1 good friend who lives 5 hours away so it's easy to keep her because I can just text and call. I have another friend who I've been friends with for 30 years but her life is filled with drama and I find myself unable to tolerate it in my present state. Luckily my husband is my best friend and he's all I need. Everyone else has disappeared from my life or is family that doesn't understand and is very frustrated with me. It sucks

[TheatreKid]

Supersonic, I feel exactly like you described - I don't know how to make the step past acquaintance and into friend. I make all my friends at the theatre, and those are fast friendships that sometimes don't last through something like bipolar disorder.

[Supersonic]

Lately what I'm finding is that I hide who I am and dawn a mask in hopes that people don't think I'm crazy. I keep quiet when I'm hypo and just quietly sit with a smile. I keep quiet when I'm down and just maintain a slight smile. I guess it's a form of isolation. It takes a lot of energy when someone does talk with me to not dominate conversations, talk about myself, or finish others sentences. I'd never mention my BP disorder even when I hear someone use it in a derogatory connotation. Although I want to smack em' and let them know that they have no idea what BP really is.

[jesusplay]

I have no friends, no social media, nothing. I can't manage any kind of relationship.

[Marshellette]

I have a few friends but I drop off their radar when I'm sick and then they forget about me.

[Marshellette]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

I have no friends, no social media, nothing. I can't manage any kind of relationship.

What about a pet Jesusplay?

[Nammu]

I'm in the same boat. When I'm out and doing things I can make acquaintances easily enough, but I've been hurt so many times I can't trust enough to turn those into friends. So when I get pulled into one extreme or the other I lose contact.

I also tend to form friendship with addicts because I don't feel good enough to have friend ships with well balanced people. But most addicts are not able to be there when I need them, although I'm there for them 24/7, until I need them, then they evaporate into thin air.