[OutlawedSpirit]

So I guess I overloaded my brain a little bit. As some of you know, I decided to quit smoking a few weeks ago. Which I'm still not smoking, and I have taken myself off of any nicotine replacement products. Yay me!

About a week and a half after quitting smoking, I decided to talk to my pdoc about coming off of my Abilify. It's really expensive and I've heard it can cause anxiety, which I have a problem with anyway, so I figured if I could handle coming off of it, it would be for the best.

Note to self, I NEED my Abilify. I was supposed to take half of it for a couple weeks, then come all the way off it if, but instead I decided to just come off of it. Big Mistake. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

On top of all the stress that I've had lately anyway, plus quitting smoking, stopping my Abilify plunged me into depression.

It seems that circumstances are only making it worse. I went into our local hospital on Wednesday for an intake evaluation for their partial hospitalization program. I was told that since I have a pdoc and a T, I was supposed to "use the resources I have". And that I didn't need their OUTPATIENT program because I was not "that" suicidal.

So Thursday I drove almost an hour to a private hospital for an intake, and they said I border on being 'qualified' for their inpatient program, let alone their partial hospitalization program. So Friday I started that. Which they said that I'll probably be in there at least three weeks, based on my symptoms. So that's an hour there and back Monday through Friday.

Being in the program, and being in my state of mind, I haven't gone to work all week, and probably won't go to work for the duration of the program. The downfall to that is having to start a short term disability claim. I won't know if that gets approved or not for a few weeks. That means that I won't get paid for at least 2 or 3 weeks, and it could also mean I don't have a job in 2 or 3 weeks. I'm stressing majorly about the work scenario.

My wife thinks I should really consider going inpatient. We were talking yesterday and she said that she can't really help me. She flat out said that I can try to explain depression to her all I want but she doesn't understand why I can't just "think happy thoughts". She also said she thinks me getting away from all the stress in real life would help me get better faster.

I just don't know what to do. I mean, going inpatient sort of scares me. I don't know how much I like the idea of being "locked up". At the same time, getting away from everything for a little while could be beneficial. Does anyone have any advice? Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to fill everyone in a bit. Any advice or insight would be appreciated.

[Victoria'smom]

Your in there partial hospitalization program right? If you can I would wait out the week in php then ask them.

[OutlawedSpirit]

Well, I think I'm going IP. I was talking to my wife this morning, and she thinks it would be best for me to go in. I'm not sure I'm in a place to make that call, so I am trusting her judgement on this. I hope it is for the best.

[r010159]

My wife thinks I should really consider going inpatient. We were talking yesterday and she said that she can't really help me. She flat out said that I can try to explain depression to her all I want but she doesn't understand why I can't just "think happy thoughts". She also said she thinks me getting away from all the stress in real life would help me get better faster.

I think your wife is being wis here. This worked miracles for me.

[ceejae]

I can definitely relate to not wanting to take my Abilify due to the cost, but if you need it, you need it. My pdoc said they are suppose to be coming out with a generic for it. Hopefully it's soon as I'm sure it will cost a lot less.

As for your job. I see you are in the USA. Try to claim FMLA. they cannot let you go due to calling off work for medical reasons if you are on FMLA.

The basics; The FMLA entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons with continuation of group health insurance coverage under the same terms and conditions as if the employee had not taken leave. Eligible employees are entitled to:
Twelve workweeks of leave in a 12-month period for:

a serious health condition that makes the employee unable to perform the essential functions of his or her job;

It's worth looking in to

[StartingFreshNow]

This helped my husband "get" depression:

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

[OutlawedSpirit]

Originally Posted by StartingFreshNow

This helped my husband "get" depression:

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

Thanks for that. I thought it was great. I"m going to show it to my wife tonight.

[MagicsMom]

Before I went out on disability I worked as an HR professional. If you have a medically documented reason they cannot deny you disability or terminate you if you're on FMLA. You need to request FMLA immediately - they cannot turn you down. If you need help PM me.

[OutlawedSpirit]

I've already started the process for my short term disability claim. They automatically run FMLA concurrently. I'm just going to worry about my job until all the paperwork is faxed in and approved. I know, logically, they will probably approve my claim, especially since I am in a partial hospitalization program, but the logical part of my brain can't always be heard over the rest of it. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't run into problems with our short term disability provider before over mental health issues.

[StartingFreshNow]

You're welcome. Good luck!

[catsrhelm]

If you have to be hospitalized, do it! It helped me get stabilized. As for Abilify, I am on a county health system, and only pay $8 for my pills. I am sure there might be resources in your county. Good luck.