[Jennyanydots]

Ever since I've been diagnosed with BP, my over-bearing, over-protective mother has never treated me the same. It's always: "do you realize you're talking really fast" or "that picture you posted online is really weird" or "have you been sleeping OK?" and of course the classic "Are you doing OK?" which pops into EVERY conversation...always assuming that it's some type of bipolar symptom when 1) I naturally speak fast reminding her that when I was a child she used to have to remind me to speak slower when giving presentations or speeches and that I like off-kilter things and that everybody wakes up throughout the night and very few people have the ability to sleep for 7-8 hours straight...I feel that ever since I have been given this diagnosis, I'm constantly put under a microscope and picked apart for every little action that I make. And if I express any joy over anything, then I must be going into hypo-mania...I feel like sometimes people want to keep bipolar people like zombies and over-medicated and any fluctuation in mood must be an indicator that you're not stable (oh, she's having a bad day, must be her bipolar!!) Does anybody else also feel this way? Ugh.

[MagicsMom]

I totally feel for you. That would suck.

Unfortunately I get the other end of the spectrum - "Why can't you just push harder through this?" "Everyone gets depressed" "You never finish what you start" and the big one "You never keep plans and you hurt people's feelings".

Mine are Bipolar related but no one seems to get it. Maybe because I got diagnosed late in life - they think I use it as an excuse but I've always been this way since I was 14.

Either end of the spectrum just totally sucks. I have an extreme urge to move across the country

Have you told your mom how she makes you feel?

[Jennyanydots]

Yes I have but she either gets pissed, defensive or ignores it all together. She's very traditional and basically represses her feelings. As a child I used to get very depressed because I was bullied and I would tell her this and she would always respond by saying suck it up or what do you have to be depressed about, others in the world are way worse off than you. I would hide in my room and dream up ways of suicide. She also is not artsy in any way or shape and doesn't understand and appreciate art or music and thinks the stuff is weird.

Originally Posted by MagicsMom

I totally feel for you. That would suck.

Unfortunately I get the other end of the spectrum - "Why can't you just push harder through this?" "Everyone gets depressed" "You never finish what you start" and the big one "You never keep plans and you hurt people's feelings".

Mine are Bipolar related but no one seems to get it. Maybe because I got diagnosed late in life - they think I use it as an excuse but I've always been this way since I was 14.

Either end of the spectrum just totally sucks. I have an extreme urge to move across the country

Have you told your mom how she makes you feel?

[OutlawedSpirit]

My mom won't talk to me at all about my dx. She told me one day she is afraid of it, and of "upsetting me more than I'm already upset". So I mean, it's usually treated as though it doesn't exist, but at the same time, I'm treated as though I'm "fragile". Like I'm going to snap. I hate that.

[Jennyanydots]

I completely know how you feel.

[TheatreKid]

I guess I'm lucky, I never feel like the people in my life attribute everything I do to bipolar disorder. My doctors, too, are ready to find the real reason something is happening instead of labelling it bipolar.

I don't think bipolar is the worst diagnosis to have. I've known people with borderline personality disorder and it's horrible the way they're treated, like everything is a manipulation, that they're difficult and manipulative. Their doctors basically stopped listening to them. One of them even got turned away at the ER when she was suicidal.

[wildflowerchild25]

My mother tries to be understanding but really can't be. I had a long winter break (I'm a teacher) so by the end I was staying up later because I had adjusted my sleep schedule. Of course she noticed and said something. Now I have to make sure I'm in my room by 10pm to avoid raising suspicion.

Also my mother believes my condition is caused by the devil possessing me. I was watching Harry potter over the break and she freaked out and said that I was watching Harry potter every time before my three hospital stays and that it's a gateway to letting evil into my life. She said "mark my words, you'll be back in the hospital in no time". Obviously I proved her wrong. The last time I had to go to the hospital I asked her to take me so my husbands car wouldn't be left unattended in the city. She took me to her church first and the pastor told me if I just accept Jesus as my savior the devil will leave and my brain will be healed.

So I don't talk to her about this anymore.

My husband is a lot of "did you take your meds" when I get grouchy. He expects a miracle with them. We had a huge fight this morning. Yes I'm taking it and it's not helping so shut up.

[Curiosity77]

My mom always takes a serious tone of voice and asks me if i'n taking my meds and talking to my doctor. I'm 37 years old, so it's infuriating. Plus, when i was a kid and teen she was never around or clues in to what was happening with me, and she did nothing to protect me from dangerous situations and people. So when i told her about my diagnosis at 34 and she started acting this way it was too late for her to start acting like a mother. I hate being treated like i'm fragile and mentally ill, while simultaneously having to act like i'm happy all the time because if i show her any signs of depression she starts crying and blaming herself. My sister and brother don't want to hear about it, and they act like the stuff i've done during episodes is a problem with my character and irresponsiblity. My dad is too self absorbed and depressed to notice how i'm doing, so i just end up taking care of him. I'm divorced and i don't have a family of my own. So i just try to keep it too myself around family, and i try to show that i am stable and perfect, and that i don't need anything from anyone, which isn't really true, but i have no one to rely on in my family.

I am lucky to have a few close friends who are supportive and don't treat me like there is something wrong with me, or expect me to be perfect all the time. So i feel lucky and grateful for that. But i do wish i had that from family. I feel like i don't really fit in with my family, and it's been that way since i was around 14.

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[Jennyanydots]

Luckily, I'm able to see my prior psychologist who was seeing me prior and after my first big psychotic break and she gets me and I like talking to her so I'm very excited about that: ) She always gives me great advice on how to handle my parents and encourages me to be myself and push my self to excel.

I couldn't see her in the past year because she wasn't in my providers listing of approved Doctors with my prior insurance company.

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

My mom always takes a serious tone of voice and asks me if i'n taking my meds and talking to my doctor. I'm 37 years old, so it's infuriating. Plus, when i was a kid and teen she was never around or clues in to what was happening with me, and she did nothing to protect me from dangerous situations and people. So when i told her about my diagnosis at 34 and she started acting this way it was too late for her to start acting like a mother. I hate being treated like i'm fragile and mentally ill, while simultaneously having to act like i'm happy all the time because if i show her any signs of depression she starts crying and blaming herself. My sister and brother don't want to hear about it, and they act like the stuff i've done during episodes is a problem with my character and irresponsiblity. My dad is too self absorbed and depressed to notice how i'm doing, so i just end up taking care of him. I'm divorced and i don't have a family of my own. So i just try to keep it too myself around family, and i try to show that i am stable and perfect, and that i don't need anything from anyone, which isn't really true, but i have no one to rely on in my family.

I am lucky to have a few close friends who are supportive and don't treat me like there is something wrong with me, or expect me to be perfect all the time. So i feel lucky and grateful for that. But i do wish i had that from family. I feel like i don't really fit in with my family, and it's been that way since i was around 14.

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[icinggurl]

I feel that way a LOT! I feel like since I'm a 'crazy' nothing I ever say is considered valid. Everything is blown off, no one takes me seriously. It makes me so angry. I want to scream, I'm mentally ill, but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot!

Wild flower - that's exactly like the religion I grew up in, which is why I ran for my life after graduation! There was a shooting in my town recently and I was told that it was God's will. WTF?! I sarcastically say that I'll go off my meds, then come to church and ask them to help me get saved. Good luck with that cuz they'll end up calling the police to just get me out of the building. At least they'd get a good show....

Sadly when my dad became psychotic, the first thing that happened was God sending him bizarre messages like trying to run for President of the US. Then I get the phone calls like, You have to help me get him into the hospital, etc.

[littlemiss44]

My family treats me like crap. My sister who is an alcoholic tells me that I aa is the answer to my mi. I'm also an alcoholic but aa doesn't cure mi. My parents won't talk about it. They hate it when I bring it up so I learned to not share anything with them. I grew up emotionally abused with zero love. This contributes to my bpd. I have bp 2, depression, bpd, anxiety and ptsd. If I get hospitalized my.mother gets mad at me, like I'm a problem. It really hurts. Luckily I have a few close friends who understand my illness. I don't know what I'd do without them. I do everything I can to help myself. I go to therapy, too my pdoc and attend dbt sessions. I do these things to stay healthy. So I'm a better mother and a stable person

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[icinggurl]

I'm sorry! My home was similar growing up, but they finally realized how much it was hurting me and it's better now. That's great you have friends and are a good mom now. I was too scared of being a bad mom to even try to have kids. Now I'm too old, but I have stepkids at least.

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

My family treats me like crap. My sister who is an alcoholic tells me that I aa is the answer to my mi. I'm also an alcoholic but aa doesn't cure mi. My parents won't talk about it. They hate it when I bring it up so I learned to not share anything with them. I grew up emotionally abused with zero love. This contributes to my bpd. I have bp 2, depression, bpd, anxiety and ptsd. If I get hospitalized my.mother gets mad at me, like I'm a problem. It really hurts. Luckily I have a few close friends who understand my illness. I don't know what I'd do without them. I do everything I can to help myself. I go to therapy, too my pdoc and attend dbt sessions. I do these things to stay healthy. So I'm a better mother and a stable person

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[grandmaof3]

I sympathize with you. Im pretty sure my mother was bipolar too but she was never diagnosed. When I was diagnosed she asked my husband why he was letting me waste money on psychiatrist and meds when I just needed to stop acting like a 2 year old and using my bipolar diagnosis for an excuse to act like a ***** and get my own way. My sister is also bipolar and my mother treats her the same way she treats me. She thought my sister just said shes bipolar because I am and that she is just wanting attention.

[outlaw sammy]

Originally Posted by icinggurl

I feel that way a LOT! I feel like since I'm a 'crazy' nothing I ever say is considered valid. Everything is blown off, no one takes me seriously. It makes me so angry. I want to scream, I'm mentally ill, but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot!

Wild flower - that's exactly like the religion I grew up in, which is why I ran for my life after graduation! There was a shooting in my town recently and I was told that it was God's will. WTF?! I sarcastically say that I'll go off my meds, then come to church and ask them to help me get saved. Good luck with that cuz they'll end up calling the police to just get me out of the building. At least they'd get a good show....

Sadly when my dad became psychotic, the first thing that happened was God sending him bizarre messages like trying to run for President of the US. Then I get the phone calls like, You have to help me get him into the hospital, etc.

I couldn't agree with you more! Being BP means you haven't any valid experiences, ideas, opinions, or thought processes at all. I have a maters in chemistry, BUT when I reported to the Denver Police that I'd been assaulted they buried the report without the slightest follow-up. Even my other associates I speak to don't believe anything I say. LET'S FACE THE BITTER TRUTH - WE'RE NOT EVEN QUALIFIED TO BE SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS. We're only one notch up on the social ladder from deranged junkies on the street, but below convicted felons. DAMN STRAIGHT - I'M ANGRY TOO!

As soon as my parents realized something was wrong with me they completely cut me off from the family. I truly have no one in the world. They have just stopped talking to me completely and do nothing to try to help, they do not care they are simply angry at me for not upholding "family honor" or some ********. They were never there for me anyways.

[lolie.rosa]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My mother tries to be understanding but really can't be. I had a long winter break (I'm a teacher) so by the end I was staying up later because I had adjusted my sleep schedule. Of course she noticed and said something. Now I have to make sure I'm in my room by 10pm to avoid raising suspicion.

Also my mother believes my condition is caused by the devil possessing me. I was watching Harry potter over the break and she freaked out and said that I was watching Harry potter every time before my three hospital stays and that it's a gateway to letting evil into my life. She said "mark my words, you'll be back in the hospital in no time". Obviously I proved her wrong. The last time I had to go to the hospital I asked her to take me so my husbands car wouldn't be left unattended in the city. She took me to her church first and the pastor told me if I just accept Jesus as my savior the devil will leave and my brain will be healed.

So I don't talk to her about this anymore.

My husband is a lot of "did you take your meds" when I get grouchy. He expects a miracle with them. We had a huge fight this morning. Yes I'm taking it and it's not helping so shut up.

I'm christian but fortunately my family and pastor understand my disease is physical and not spiritual. My aunt and my father are bipolars too, it's genetical, like heart disease.Tell your mother many converted christians experience mental disease and many of them had good testimonials like myself, and many pastors have depression too. After my psychosis I thought it happened for spiritual reasons but I couldn't understand why since I was praying all the time and actually being too religious was part of the problem. If you convert that means you will find lots of peace and comfort that will help you with the disease but cure is a process, it may happen or may not happen. I believe many are cured but in my case being converted didn't stop my disease to destroy great part of my life and relationships. I'm still dealing with it, I keep having faith and taking my meds. You should keep having your meds, in time they will make effect. If you stop you will get worse.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My mother tries to be understanding but really can't be. I had a long winter break (I'm a teacher) so by the end I was staying up later because I had adjusted my sleep schedule. Of course she noticed and said something. Now I have to make sure I'm in my room by 10pm to avoid raising suspicion.

Also my mother believes my condition is caused by the devil possessing me. I was watching Harry potter over the break and she freaked out and said that I was watching Harry potter every time before my three hospital stays and that it's a gateway to letting evil into my life. She said "mark my words, you'll be back in the hospital in no time". Obviously I proved her wrong. The last time I had to go to the hospital I asked her to take me so my husbands car wouldn't be left unattended in the city. She took me to her church first and the pastor told me if I just accept Jesus as my savior the devil will leave and my brain will be healed.

So I don't talk to her about this anymore.

My husband is a lot of "did you take your meds" when I get grouchy. He expects a miracle with them. We had a huge fight this morning. Yes I'm taking it and it's not helping so shut up.

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Originally Posted by icinggurl

I feel that way a LOT! I feel like since I'm a 'crazy' nothing I ever say is considered valid. Everything is blown off, no one takes me seriously. It makes me so angry. I want to scream, I'm mentally ill, but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot!

This! ^^^ Happens to me all the time. I may be mentally ill but my contribution is valid and a lot of the time I am right in what I have said - especially when it comes to work! They never remember all of the times I was right, but never forget the few times I was wrong.

When it comes to family and friends I have just accepted now that whatever I say or do is the wrong thing because I am the crazy one. My pdoc/T is trying to fix this.

[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by MagicsMom

Unfortunately I get the other end of the spectrum - "Why can't you just push harder through this?" "Everyone gets depressed" "You never finish what you start" and the big one "You never keep plans and you hurt people's feelings".

Yeah...I have gotten that through the years, but to the OP, what have you done to educate your mother? In my case, my wife knows a lot about BP as she's a trained therapist, but she still had to refersh her memory as she doesn't deal with it daily (other than with me... ).

[Halston]

I always get the "how are you?"s & the looks of concern if something agitates me, as any sort of anger is instantly interpreted as "bipolar rage", as opposed to honest, appropriate response. I know it's genuinely meant, but people don't realize how often they do it. And nothing seems to mess up a good day better than someone saying "you doing so much better"

The hardest part for me was dealing with the fact that every argument you've ever had, or anything that's gone wrong in your life is now solely your fault. Everyone gets a free pass when it comes to fault or complicity once you are diagnosed BP, because it was clearly your illness that was at fault. This took me a long time to accept, because, it's never going to change. Even if it's not spoken, every argument you have and any emotion you show will be your fault, from now on, which is not awesome.

Anyway, I feel for you. I wish I could say it will stop, but it seems to me that a diagnosis gives everyone permission to say anything they want, and if you have a problem with their advice/criticism, well, that's just your illness talking.

[BipolaRNurse]

People seem to want it both ways, and either way the bipolar person gets screwed. My older sister is the worst; according to her, I can't have a legitimate emotion---it all has to be about the BP. But when I react to her reaction to my emotion(s), she'll accuse me of blaming everything on the BP. I can't win. And she wonders why I choose not to spend time with her without my husband or other family members present.

[icinggurl]

Originally Posted by Halston

I always get the "how are you?"s & the looks of concern if something agitates me, as any sort of anger is instantly interpreted as "bipolar rage", as opposed to honest, appropriate response. I know it's genuinely meant, but people don't realize how often they do it. And nothing seems to mess up a good day better than someone saying "you doing so much better"

The hardest part for me was dealing with the fact that every argument you've ever had, or anything that's gone wrong in your life is now solely your fault. Everyone gets a free pass when it comes to fault or complicity once you are diagnosed BP, because it was clearly your illness that was at fault. This took me a long time to accept, because, it's never going to change. Even if it's not spoken, every argument you have and any emotion you show will be your fault, from now on, which is not awesome.

Anyway, I feel for you. I wish I could say it will stop, but it seems to me that a diagnosis gives everyone permission to say anything they want, and if you have a problem with their advice/criticism, well, that's just your illness talking.

I hate those 'how are you?'s too. Makes me regret ever divulging any personal info to that person at all, which in turn causes me to shut down from others even more.

Sometimes I wish I could just move far away where no one knows anything about me. Maybe I wouldn't feel so scrutinized all the time, which can (of course) seem paranoid to some. Maybe we have a good reason to be a little paranoid........

[Creative1onder]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

I guess I'm lucky, I never feel like the people in my life attribute everything I do to bipolar disorder. My doctors, too, are ready to find the real reason something is happening instead of labelling it bipolar.

I don't think bipolar is the worst diagnosis to have. I've known people with borderline personality disorder and it's horrible the way they're treated, like everything is a manipulation, that they're difficult and manipulative. Their doctors basically stopped listening to them. One of them even got turned away at the ER when she was suicidal.

I was forced out of A&E when i was suicidal as well. I wouldnt have gone to A&E if i didnt feel my life was in danger. I was desperately trying to get help cos i had lost hope. I was exhausted, really unstable, irritable, out of control. It was appalling how i was treated regardless of my kind of condition. They didnt take me seriously or believe i have severe illness. Depression is still not regarded as an illness/medical condition on the nhs.

[shortandcute]

I'm not sure if I'm treated any differently or not. I guess because I was always treated as the idiot anyway. My oldest sister expects me to just push through anyway. When I lived with her and her husband (from 16 to 18) I was treated as if I was criminal or something. Since I wasn't diagnosed at the time, I couldn't understand or explain why I was acting the way I was. They had this idea in their heads that I was living in some secret sin or something and that's why I was so moody. I was labeled "rebellious." even though I really tried my best to "behave" myself. But I would have these mood swings, so they took that as rebellion.

One time while I was at school, I started having a real bad episode, and sat in the girl's bthroom and cried hysterically the whole school day until the school bus came to pick us up. I honestly for the life of me could not understand why I was doing that. My brother in law cought wind of it, and he couldn't stop hounding me about it. I did not know how to explain it, so I just made something up and told him I felt oppressed. He told not to tell anyone about that ecause I would be taken to mental health. Later that day or the next day, I sat on my bed and started crying again. He came and sat down next to me and proceeded to tell me that I broke my c0venant with God.