[stillquiteyoung]

Hello, I'm diagnosed with bipolar II and I quit using lithium without my doctor's guidance or anything three months ago or something. I'm sorry if I come off as illiterate I can't quite get my head here right now and I didn't know where else to ask help (I refuse to talk to my doctor tbh) I'm not sure if I'm depressed because it doesnt feel like the depression I was in before, what I have right now

- Suicidal thoughts, too much of them i literally cant stop thinking about suicide yesterday i wrote a legacy but im not sure how I'll do it or if I will
- Self harm relapse, also I'm trying very hard to not get back with bulimia but I really really hate myself so much I don't even know what to do and I started binging (i'm not sure if this is about bipolar)
- I cant stay still at all I feel like running and hitting people? I'm energetic but it really interferes my exams and it's very negative, I can't filter my mouth at all and I feel like crying a lot
- Also I'm talking a lot I demand a lot of attention and feel like as if people can't catch up to me sometimes but of course this makes other people angry and I end up crying - I really hate being so childish
- I can't focus my attention, right now I'm even having trouble writing this.
- I think about too many things at the same time that I can't even figure out what I'm thinking and my ocd got way worse

If anyone could help me out that would be great, I read about mixed episodes but I'm not sure because it's written that it's a bipolar 1 thing, but I'm also kind of sure that its not rapid cycling?

Have a read up on Boarderline Personality Disorder and see if that sounds familiar to you. A few things you mentioned hint at a personality disorder.

DBT can be really helpful for those with BPD symptoms. You may be able to find a program online. Goodluck.

[Curiosity77]

Officially you can't have mixed states in Bipolar 2 according to DSM, but i have experienced them and i am Bipolar 2. Plus other type 2 people on this forum have talked about being mixed. So i think the line between 1 and 2 can be a little blurry. So you could be mixed, but i agree with suoernova that it could be borderline pd. It's also possible to be a combo of BP and BPD. What is stopping you from talking to your doctor? Your doc is the best person to help you figure this out so that you can get effective treatment.

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[Mental reward]

Why did you stop the lithium?

[Travelinglady]

Hello, stillquiteyoung, and welcome to Psych Central! I have Bipolar II and have been told by my psychiatrist that I have had mixed states. You do need to be taking some sort of medicine(s) to help keep you stable. If lithium doesn't work for you, then there are other possibilities. Also, I can tell you aren't happy with the doctor you were going to, so please seek out some other professional who can help. As you see, life is miserable when we don't get and stay in treatment. Okay?

A professional is the only person who can really say what you are experiencing, too.

[Victoria'smom]

It sounds mixed. Think really hard about why you relapsed and why you related before see if there's a pattern. My episodes trigger my eating disorder so that could be possible. Really please be carful mixed episodes are the worst.