Is this Bi-polar? Please help.

Hello everyone. I am usually not one to reach out and ask for help or advice, but I'll be honest, I think I need it right now because I think I may have Bi-polar. I'm going to open up here so bare with me. I never noticed symptoms before now and that is mainly due in part of the household I grew up in, where if you were mental you were weak. But now that I look back at it it makes sense.

When I was 16 years old I started to cut, very randomly or from triggers. My parents would get in some very bad fights and I would get depressed and almost manic about it, I'd feel like it was all my fault or something and I'd cut, I still have several scars on my arms because of it. It would lead me into a state of depression that I felt I couldn't kick. I'd lay in bed all day and just stare at the wall or something equally lethargic, and this would go on for weeks. It would subside and I would usually kick into a heightened mood. I'd be very confident, on top of the world almost, I would go partying, drink alcohol at these parties far too much and usually end up trying to have sex with some one new. It usually led to me getting in trouble, losing real relationships because of sexual activity and dis loyalty. I suppose I had never really thought however at these 'high' points in my life could be problems until I looked back at it. I would spend more money and want sex much more, but at the same time I had so much energy! It would be hard for me to sleep at night and I'd be insanely creative.

Then a depressive state would get triggered, and this happened last year. I went through a rough break-up and I was bed ridden for weeks, I stopped attending my classes, I was very suicidal and I wanted nothing to do with life, I felt like nothing and I felt like ending it all would be the only way to move on. I even remember having the shotgun in my hands, and if not for a very close friend I would've done it. I recovered, had a very productive summer and winter too (sometimes experiencing these highs and over-confidence) and now I am back in a state of depression, but what's weird about it is that I am not not tired or lethargic (well some times). I am going through a very rough time and I am obsessing about problems in my life, all the time, this has been going on for a week and a half and I am scared, I've thought about suicide again. I can't sleep I feel hopeless and so worthless. I have an appointment with a therapist (first time ever) on Monday and my symptoms are getting worse, I can't stop thinking about my problems, I can't focus, it's destroying my days, one after the other. Am I over-reacting? Is this bi-polar? What can I do?

I just need help please.

I am a twenty-three year old male.

It could be bipolar, but only doctors can diagnose bipolar. Have you talked to your doctor about these symptoms? If you're suicidal, you really need to talk to a professional.

No, i dont see my doctor untill monday.

Hang in there. Keep talking here, if you can. Maybe you could start writing stuff down so you have something to take to your doctor to let him/her know how you're doing?

And if you're in crisis, don't hesitate to go to the hospital. They can evaluate you and make sure you're safe.

It sounds consistent with Bipolar Disorder, but of course only a doctor can tell you that for sure. In addition to seeing the therapist, I would suggest you look into seeing a medical doctor or psychiatrist for the possibility of getting on some medication. Your regular doctor will be able to refer you to someone, and it's possible your therapist would be able to do that too.

My doctor set the appointment up for me on monday so ill be going. Ive been trying to control everything but its hard...im obssesing still and I cant focus.

Print this for him.

Ill make sure I do that. Anything to get this solved or help me down a road, ive been dealing with this for years and its only getting worse.

Hey everyone, I just got back from my appointment with my Therapist and I'd say things went good. I unloaded, cried a good amount of the time and handed her screening tests that I have done as well as discussed a possible diagnosis of Bi-polar. She asked me how a diagnosis of bi-polar would feel to me and asked if I had any issues with her discussing things with my MD and then talking with my MD about this, she said something about making things go much faster. I feel a bit better after talking with the therapist and crying out, but I am still in a dull state, I feel like a weight has been lifted but my motivation is far from anything.

What do you all think?

Avrik : You took a big step in the right direction. I found that putting a name to the circumstance can lift that big load off my shoulders.
Strange but true.

Thanks for the help everyone. Its been rough still...i just want to get help, its very hard, but im sure you all know this. The manic episodes thst ive had never bothered me untill i looked back at them and saw all that i had done....but these depressive episodes....they are the worst.