I live and go to school where the recent murder spree took place. It's one thing to be depressed, it's quite another to feel this way in the midst of such unbelievable devastation. As an individual being I feel numb, nothingness, and yet I am overwhelmed with empathy and sadness for my community. There's no light to turn to.

[venusss]

Take good care of yourself and allow yourself to feel.

[Blitter2014]

There are times where I wish I had something more intelligent to say other than I hear you.

Hugs

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[Nammu]

I'm up in NorCal and am heartbroken over the murders. When I watched the video of Chris Martinez's father...there are no words...really, HOW MANY have to die before we Americans truly BELIEVE that we do not have to live like this?

I wish you, thepterodactyl, some kind of peace at this time, and eventual healing for the entire community...somehow...

[swheaton]

I'm so sorry.

[Twigs92]

It's disturbing when something like that happens, I'm not going to even pretend I understand what you and your community are going through. I hope you will all be there for each other, and there's always loads of us kicking around here if you want to talk.

thanks, everyone. this is really hard...I feel so bad for all the families and loved ones...I want to be thankful to be alive right now, and I know that I am, but I just can't feel it in this moment and that makes me feel really really guilty. And I can't get all of the images and words out of my head - this is where the horrors of OCD come in I suppose - just endless replaying of all the information I can't stop myself from reading. Not sure if others experience this, but when someone is in emotional pain - even if they are a stranger - I obsessively (and compulsively) try to get inside it and imagine what it's like. I don't know why I do this and why I can't stop, because of course it feels awful, but it's just one of those things...it's like I HAVE to understand what they're going through...

I don't mean to jump off the subject of this so, so sad post, but I have some input...maybe having to do with your other thread.

I'm not at all sure that you're describing OCD, thep. In my experience, OCD acts much more self-centered. You're describing some kind of intense compassion and empathy...the " get inside it and imagine what it's like". I do that, too. IF I stick a label on it, I'd call it strong anxiety and possibly edging into a negative hypomania. Not really OCD. And maybe it's not necessarily a diagnosable thing...maybe it's just called "being a very caring and sensitive person". I can't get the horror of the shooting out of my mind. I keep thinking and thinking about it...it's awful to feel so helpless, isn't it.

Originally Posted by Sister Rags

I don't mean to jump off the subject of this so, so sad post, but I have some input...maybe having to do with your other thread.

I'm not at all sure that you're describing OCD, thep. In my experience, OCD acts much more self-centered. You're describing some kind of intense compassion and empathy...the " get inside it and imagine what it's like". I do that, too. IF I stick a label on it, I'd call it strong anxiety and possibly edging into a negative hypomania. Not really OCD. And maybe it's not necessarily a diagnosable thing...maybe it's just called "being a very caring and sensitive person". I can't get the horror of the shooting out of my mind. I keep thinking and thinking about it...it's awful to feel so helpless, isn't it.

Hi sister rags,
you may very well be right. Everything is all jumbled right now...in general I'm unsure whether I'm experiencing symptoms of anxiety, OCD, bipolar or if this is just my personality (not that these are separate entities), and in the face of this tragedy it is even more confusing. Then again, it is also seems so so insignificant comparatively...I'm totally with you - the feeling of helplessness is awful. I really appreciate your comments as well.

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

Hi sister rags,
you may very well be right. Everything is all jumbled right now...in general I'm unsure whether I'm experiencing symptoms of anxiety, OCD, bipolar or if this is just my personality (not that these are separate entities), and in the face of this tragedy it is even more confusing. Then again, it is also seems so so insignificant comparatively...I'm totally with you - the feeling of helplessness is awful. I really appreciate your comments as well.

Oh, hey...you're so welcome. Honestly, the way you've described your symptoms or personality or whatever reminds me so much of my own "stuff". I feel like I really do understand what you're about.

Originally Posted by Sister Rags

Oh, hey...you're so welcome. Honestly, the way you've described your symptoms or personality or whatever reminds me so much of my own "stuff". I feel like I really do understand what you're about.

you have no idea how comforting that is to hear right now. thanks for the friend request

You are not alone, believe me

[tljim]

Just say a little prayer for them. I will say a prayer for all of you suffering on this board.

[Dix888]

Oh, I am SO sorry. I live near where Columbine & Aurora & another insane shooting happened. The horror, shock, tragedy was mind-numbing. The only way I could deal with it was to focus on the heroes in these tragedies--the people who worked hard to rescue survivors, those who lay on top of people to shield them, the cops & rescue workers. And also to know that most people are good & do not shoot others. Deep sympathies to you & everyone in your area.

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

I live and go to school where the recent murder spree took place. It's one thing to be depressed, it's quite another to feel this way in the midst of such unbelievable devastation. As an individual being I feel numb, nothingness, and yet I am overwhelmed with empathy and sadness for my community. There's no light to turn to.

Yes, focusing on the good...and there is so much good that people express in these awful attacks...is immensely important. I was truly touched by the image of flowers people had placed in the bullet holes. A simple gesture, but it showed strength for hope.

[lil_better_everyday]

I know that feel. Memorial Day hit me like a ton of bricks. No fun at all. Do your best to keep your head up. 'Fake it till you make it' sounds silly, but is a psychologically valid strategy.

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