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#1
May 27, 2014, 04:10 AM
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Why should I continue to live? Naming my family members is what I am always told.
So I should only live to make life ok for everyone else? Don't I have any place at all in my decision whether or not life is worthwhile? When life seems too hard, when it hurts to just put one foot in front of the other, when I have no purpose any longer...why continue? My beloved cat does not seem to want anything to do with me any more. He has disappeared. Just took off. If I can't even please a pet, what good am I? I am having a hard time finding any reason to go on.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sad&Bipolar Bipolar l WellbutrinXL Abilify Lorazepam PRN TMS alternative therapy 6/19/14 to 09/25/14 |
 Angry1541, Anonymous45023, BipolaRNurse, Curiosity77, Nammu, sagran, swheaton, Talanic, wing
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 Nammu, outlaw sammy
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#2
May 27, 2014, 05:23 AM
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Please hang in there. Have you called the national suicide prevention hotline? They can help. This is only for a season. I've been there several times with 2 attempts. Today, I am glad to have survived my attempts because even though it took years, I have relief from being in "that place". I hope you find relief soon and life gets brighter for you.
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| Curiosity77, outlaw sammy
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#3
May 27, 2014, 09:53 AM
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Quote:
Sent from my XT1028 using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
| Curiosity77
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#4
May 27, 2014, 04:47 PM
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It's true that family and loved ones are reasons to live. But yourself is another reason. It's not just about them. It's about you. Don't give up. If you give up you end all possibilities. If you give up now, then you end all possibilities of enjoying life when you finally stabilize and feel better. Whenever I feel the same as you, I remind myself of that fact. Someday things will be better, and that once they are, you'll be glad that you didn't decide to end it. I know it's tough, I know that it's painful. But trust me when I say that you'll come out of it and be thankful of the life you have kept. I know it may seem like you wont stabilize, but if you keep going, if you keep trying, if you don't give up then something will stick and you'll find your way.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs
__________________
Schizoaffective Bipolar type and Panic disorder with agoraphobia- Last edited by Talanic; May 27, 2014 at 06:37 PM. |
| almondjoy, BipolaRNurse, sagran
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#5
May 27, 2014, 06:52 PM
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Quote:
I would like to give something positive to feed from, but it would be like all of the reports stating the economy is getting better which is basically complete and utter ********@#. |
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#6
May 27, 2014, 07:12 PM
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WOW - THIS IS A HEAVY TOPIC! However, I must ask the question, what does having material reasons to live got to do with suicidal depression? All the times that I've suffered a bipolar depression, I was either locked up in a psyche ward or woke up in a hospital intensive care unit. With the exception of one incident (post-divorce), all the other times, my life was otherwise good to great - and still, I would try to kill myself. Only my support people, who would often rescue me in the nick of time, prevented me from checking out.
My advise is simple: as you descend into deepening depression, reach out for help before taking those pills, or grabbing that handgun, or . . . In other words, don't allow yourself to be alone! And while weathering the storm, remember our Father loves His BP children. Early check-ins are not allowed. Last edited by outlaw sammy; May 27, 2014 at 07:13 PM. Reason: edit |
| BipolaRNurse, Tawnya20
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#7
May 27, 2014, 07:33 PM
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Oh honey, boy can I relate. I just want Jesus to come back and get me sooner than later. I even asked God to take my life so my husband could have a good, loving wife and my kids a good step mom. We don't believe in divorce so thought it was a good trade lol. Hang in there, hang with us, we care!
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#8
May 28, 2014, 01:57 AM
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It's your depression talking and telling you things will never improve. Depression lies. The only thing constant is change, and you will not feel this bad forever. When I'm depressed I can feel hopeless and like everything is painful and meaningless, and it feels like it has always felt that way and will always feel that way. But then I come out of it and realize how narrow my thinking had become, stuck on the same thoughts and feelings, just repeating and gnawing at myself. But it is always temporary, and things do get better. Things will improve for you too, if you can just hang in there through this crisis. Hospital is there as an option if you can't keep yourself safe. There are reasons to live, but maybe it's just not possible for you to see them right now because the depression is blinding you.
Also, I'm really sorry to hear about your cat. Try not to take it personally. You don't know why he hasn't come home. I'm sure he loves you very much, and I hope he is OK.
__________________
"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?" "Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." |
| pawn78
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#9
May 28, 2014, 04:42 PM
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It lies so convincingly.
Sent from my XT1028 using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
| usehername
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#10
May 28, 2014, 07:34 PM
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Curiosity is right....depression does lie. It nearly had me convinced people would be better without me. Hang in there. Your life has a purpose. Think of yourself as a light, without light, things are too dark. Keep your light shining,
__________________
Perception isn't everything 
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#11
May 29, 2014, 05:09 AM
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First, it's not your fault when your cat left. I have suffered it 5 times and now, after being told many stories and seeing them leaving and coming back to my friend's home, I realise that they just serve their instinctive desire. But if something bad happened, it's not your fault too. You can't keep your eyes on him/her 24/24. Remember it. Hang on, this feeling will be over soon as it's been all the time. Remind yourself of happy moments you had, my dear.
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#12
May 29, 2014, 09:45 AM
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Quote:
Sunrises Sunsets Seasons Changing Bird Songs Flowers Rainbows Butterflies A smile on a Dogs (or cat) Warm Pajama's fresh out of the dryer in winter Clean sheets on the bed I could go on, but I am work so.... 
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