[CloserToTheMid]

Tonight, I will be leading the dress rehearsal for my choir's Christmas program. Many things must happen tonight for the program to be a success. I've had some mania and lost some sleep over the last few weeks and it has really blown up in my face with my job as music director (church). I'm off Seroquel and on Saphris since last Wednesday.

I've never given a poor performance on the 6 years I've been doing it. It's always been a worshipful experience (which is the most important part) and a wizbang performance, but this one is a bugaboo. More ambitious than any program I've done. I'm working with guest musicians I've never worked with. The balance between the band and the choir was a disaster last week, frustrating the singers. But I just KNOW I can make this work.

What I need are prayers for me that I don't totally melt down if it doesn't go well. I need to feel that it will be ok if not everything goes as planned. I'm trying to be optimistic and not anxious.

I just learned that family is coming in from out of state and the composer has been invited to come hear it. That freaks me out.

Also, I will literally be raised up in front of every one. I will be on a platform and I will be, in part, the center of attention. It's success is just as a big a problem as it's failure. If it goes as well as possible, I will receive accolades for weeks. I don't handle that very well sometimes. Positive attention at this level can be a trigger for me. Prayers all around!

[Moose72]

That's a lot of pressure! But you'll do fine. I can feel it.

Sending positive thoughts that it all goes extremely well for you and all other participants. I hope you get lots of praise but can stay level headed and remind yourself it was a group/team effort.

I hope you and all cast members have fun above all else and the audience enjoys their special night of entertainment.

Keep us posted and let us know how it goes.

[emgreen]

I've never been in your position as a musical director, but I used to act. I always suffered from anxiety before a performance, & was my own worst critic after. Be good to yourself. I'm sure 99% of the audience won't notice if YOU hear something you don't like. Plus, the object is to enjoy what you're doing; excess anxiety will prevent you from doing that. Try to chill, dude. I'll be waiting for an update on how things went & how you feel about it. Break a leg!

[hopeless2015]

Wishing you luck and sending prayers

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by emgreen

I've never been in your position as a musical director, but I used to act. I always suffered from anxiety before a performance, & was my own worst critic after. Be good to yourself. I'm sure 99% of the audience won't notice if YOU hear something you don't like. Plus, the object is to enjoy what you're doing; excess anxiety will prevent you from doing that. Try to chill, dude. I'll be waiting for an update on how things went & how you feel about it. Break a leg!

Yeah, I get anxious every year, and it goes well every year. But with all of my mania issues lately, I've been seriously worried about flipping out. I know this may seem a silly think to flip out over...and it truly is...but it is also my job and this is the big one. Truly, though, silly to have even one ounce of anxiety over this. I'm a pro. I've been doing it for you years. But you add a super loud drummer who the choir is straining to sing over and my confidence has taken a dip and a choir member truly flipped out on me after the last rehearsal (the way I handled it is a success story!)

Thanks for the support.

[Unrigged64072835]

Best of luck to you and you're in my prayers.

Well, I'm guessing you already had the dress rehearsal. How'd it go?

I hope it went well for you and that nothing bad happened. I know there's a lot of pressure to do well, especially since last week was a bit of a mess. So I can't blame you for being anxious. I would be too.

[wiretwister]

I'm weak .... afraid I would be floating in xanex ...

hang in there ... our prayers are with you ... remember why (who) the story (performace) is really for and you will be find ... don't center on you but on (the reason for the season) and no matter what happens it will be all good .... knock'um dead ....

[CloserToTheMid]

It was a great rehearsal, by and large. We worked out most of the issues from our previous rehearsal. The only problem, and it's small, is that the pianist was a little too showy and he yelled at everybody. I'm pretty sure he has an untreated MI. He scared a few people. But he's an amazing pianist.

I just sent him a text to ask him to tone it down a bit. We'll see how he responds.

Thanks for you support. It really made a difference to me. I came into the rehearsal with a cool head and confidence in my vision. Sunday is going to be awesome.

[zijax]

I'm glad everything went well for you!

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by CloserToTheMid

It was a great rehearsal, by and large. We worked out most of the issues from our previous rehearsal. The only problem, and it's small, is that the pianist was a little too showy and he yelled at everybody. I'm pretty sure he has an untreated MI. He scared a few people. But he's an amazing pianist.

I just sent him a text to ask him to tone it down a bit. We'll see how he responds.

Thanks for you support. It really made a difference to me. I came into the rehearsal with a cool head and confidence in my vision. Sunday is going to be awesome.

Bravo, Closer! I'm glad to hear it went well & that you have confidence about Sunday! I'm also a piano player...& I guess we're all high-strung! LOL

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by emgreen

Bravo, Closer! I'm glad to hear it went well & that you have confidence about Sunday! I'm also a piano player...& I guess we're all high-strung! LOL

Lol. Only the good ones! And same goes for choir directors.

[LifeInProgress]

Sunday will be awesome!

Very happy to hear rehearsal went well. You continue to be in my prayers.

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by LifeInProgress

Sunday will be awesome!

Very happy to hear rehearsal went well. You continue to be in my prayers.

Sunday will be pure joy for me once I get on the podium. In fact, the program is called Joy. The funny part is that the congregation is going to get a top dollar view of my dancing tushy throughout. It is usually behind the altar. I can't help but dance a little bit when I conduct this one.

I'm so glad the rehearsal went well. I imagine the piano player being flashy like Liberachi or Jerry Lee Lewis. I hope he can contain himself. Let us know how it goes on Sunday. Good luck....I've got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you for luck. The trifecta of crosses has magic

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I'm so glad the rehearsal went well. I imagine the piano player being flashy like Liberachi or Jerry Lee Lewis. I hope he can contain himself. Let us know how it goes on Sunday. Good luck....I've got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you for luck. The trifecta of crosses has magic

He plays like a bluesy Liberachi, but he looks like a bum.

[NUKEDANGEL]

Originally Posted by CloserToTheMid

Tonight, I will be leading the dress rehearsal for my choir's Christmas program. Many things must happen tonight for the program to be a success. I've had some mania and lost some sleep over the last few weeks and it has really blown up in my face with my job as music director (church). I'm off Seroquel and on Saphris since last Wednesday.

I've never given a poor performance on the 6 years I've been doing it. It's always been a worshipful experience (which is the most important part) and a wizbang performance, but this one is a bugaboo. More ambitious than any program I've done. I'm working with guest musicians I've never worked with. The balance between the band and the choir was a disaster last week, frustrating the singers. But I just KNOW I can make this work.

What I need are prayers for me that I don't totally melt down if it doesn't go well. I need to feel that it will be ok if not everything goes as planned. I'm trying to be optimistic and not anxious.

I just learned that family is coming in from out of state and the composer has been invited to come hear it. That freaks me out.

Also, I will literally be raised up in front of every one. I will be on a platform and I will be, in part, the center of attention. It's success is just as a big a problem as it's failure. If it goes as well as possible, I will receive accolades for weeks. I don't handle that very well sometimes. Positive attention at this level can be a trigger for me. Prayers all around!

no prayer thats fantacy , but good luck

[Unrigged64072835]

Good luck on Sunday. You're in my prayers.

[CloserToTheMid]

Hey guys. Everything came off without a hitch. Wish I could share the video, but that would break my anonymity. People loved the music. Joyous occasion. Thanks for your support.

[hopeless2015]

So glad to hear things went well!!!!