Its back

Things felt like they were getting better but I have been SO anxious ALL day off and on. I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. I don't want this to be back. I cant handle it. I cant handle feeling this distress inside again.

I have klonopin for prn for sleep. Im considering take some to sleep this away. I have to do something.

I'm sorry that things are not going well. Unfortunately this doesn't go away. I was doing really well, I'd say recovered and within 6 months, the symptoms stated to gradually come back. I was absolutely devastated.

Now I feel like I'm starting at square one again, feeling to tired to continue the fight but really, I don't have a choice.

This is never going to go away, we just have to learn to manage it in our day to day lives.

I hate it. I hate everything about it. I don't wanna end up in a hospital again. Ive got way too many things to do. I dont have time for any of this. Ive made way too many plans and have to follow through. I cant let people down. I cant handle this again. Usually when this starts happening again I lose it completely. Then Im on a psych ward.

Okay, dear one. Take some deep, slow breaths and think "I can calm down" over and over......

Think these words slowly, drawing the word out a bit, breathing rather deeply between each one:

calm, relax, peace,

enjoyment, contentment, joy,

happiness, pleasure,

nothing is helping. I might take a hot shower

I took a hot shower and another klonopin. Nothing

Try drinking something cold through a straw.

I did before I did the shower

Keep using every coping skill you have until something sticks .. Something will always stick if you keep trying.

Good luck

I did a whole lot....but I ended up taking my klonopin for sleep...now im chilled. I took 1 1/2mg so that's not bad. Maybe my Dr wont be mad with me. I was desparate

I saw my Dr today. She put me on lithium. It was either that or increase lamictal again

I don't really have any solid advice to give but I can relate to what you're feeling. It sucks majorly and in that moment it truly is devastating and horrible. I hope the lithium works for you and that this passes over quickly for you

I kind of think what brought her to this decision was when I went into deep detail of how much yesterday affected me how I been feeling this last week since I saw her last. She told me she can see rapid cycling in me.