Breaking Yo-yo

Feel like a yo-yo about to break, most the time. A tired, old yo-yo. One of those wooden ones. Lol Does that even make sense? I battle whether or not to continue to be hopeful which sounds terrible but I am just so tired. I love the days I feel great, elated, on top of the world. I feel like I can do anything, finally am out of the dark, have beaten this BUT the funny part is I know in the back of mind it's not actually true. I get all these awesome ideas and energy to do everything. Then, the inevitable happens. My greatest fear: What goes up, must come down. The drop is the worst. That period you feel invincible, then something takes a pin and puts a hole in your balloon. It doesn't pop though, sometimes, but most the time over a course of a couple minutes, hours, days, varies, it just slowly deflates. Then your balloon is just on the ground. Laying there, flat. And the period of no way else to describe, shall I call, Depths of Despair, continues on. I wish my balloon would stay even just somewhat inflated. To be stable...I feel I will never know what that feels like, nor means.

Hello, Serra27. Please print your post for your treatment team. Adjustments in your treatment plan are indicated to better manage the downsides of the highs and lows.

I did just begin new meds several days ago...hoping. Finally not pregnant and weaning nursing off, so able to get back to meds I really need. But thank you!

I asked my therapist today did he want to look at my post and he acted like it at first then backed off. I don't know why. Not sure. I was going to show him some notes as well, but backed off from looking at them. Made me confused. HaHa, I stay confused.