What does it feel like to be bipolar?.

l know a pdoc is the only one who can diagnose, but l am starting to notice some real patterns in my moods and was just wondering?

Recently l have spent weeks feeling really down (the darker stuff), then a pounding headache / vomiting followed by a week of anxiety and overwhelm that l took diazepam for and for the last 2 days real excitement thinking l have my life sussed, don't need therapy and l am going to retire and live on a houseboat. It all seems so logical and the very best decision in my head, but something is making me wonder.

Well really you answered your own question. You really need a proper diagnosis.

We can share our own experiences but really we shouldn't be commenting on what you are experiencing, If not diagnosed. That really would be irresponsible on our end.

I would strongly suggest you do get an assessment especially if the outcome is BP, you'll need treatment.

Sorry, probably wasn't the reply you were looking for.

Thanks for your reply. Was not looking for anyone diagnose me, but just wondered if l could relate to anyone elses experiences. Have had a rather difficult time with mental health services and was just hoping for further insights so l may get heard by them this time round.

Until you know what's going on, i wouldn't make any harsh life changes. I found with myself that when I was going through a mood swing I would get a headache and I knew that it was coming.

I would keep track of your moods and what precipitates them, if anything. A lot of times it's spontaneous but stress is a huge factor.

You will inevitably need to see a pdoc if you need treatment. I understand your concerns about mental health issues and the system. I went un-diagnosed for a long time and left a trail of misery behind me.

Good luck and I hope you find what you need

Bipolar disorder varies tremendously from person to person. Some people are mostly depressed. Others are mostly manic, and others are mixed. Some have rapid cycles, and others have episodes far apart.

The definitive feature of bipolar disorder is mania. I tend to stay on the manic end of the spectrum. Do a quick search on mania, and you will get a long list of symptoms associated with it. I have bipolar type 1, which has extreme mania symptoms, including grandiosity and psychotic features. I thought I was literally God, in the climactic peak of my most extreme manic episode. That is about as extreme as mania gets!

Yes maybe l should keep a diary. l don't think l would describe my moods as mania, but l do have grandiose stuff going on sometimes, which up until now l have thought was normal. l have just become more aware of these huge shifts from hopelessness to thinking everything is so wonderful and feeling a bit whizzy and excited. Thank you

Awareness and insight are key!!

Maybe my T has been helpful after all, in encouraging insight. Thanks Skitz13

A mood diary is an excellent idea, especially if you have had a hard time with mental health services. Just having a chart on paper of where your mood is going will help you have concrete proof that something is going on, and hopefully your doctor will appreciate it and help you.

There are mood diaries on the internet but I get overwhelmed at the complicated ones so I just rate my mood twice a day - 0 is baseline/normal, and +1 to +3 are levels of mania (elevated, hypomanic, and manic) and -1 to -3 are levels of depression. And I add any extras I might need at the time, like hours of sleep or notes on any external factors affecting my mood.

This not meant rudely, but it's how I feel:

What does it mean to feel bipolar? It feels like CRAP!

Thankyou theatrekid that's really helpful.

I am sorry things feel.so crap for you lilypup. Soup

Today I am feeling really "wired", although it doesn't feel like anxiety - my heart is not racing and my breathing is fine - however my whole back is tense and painful, I keep feeing really excited and giggling to myself - it feels like I have a race horse inside of me that is trying to run away and I am having to pull hard on the reins. Not sure why I am writing this here, maybe just a record for myself, for when I forget how it feels right now.

Those dark times feel far far away right now, yet from past experience, I know they are likely to return.