[JoyDivision7680]

It can work without medication too. I'm not taking anything yet I am still in control. My hypomanic episodes are more like a good energy drink that gives me a little more energy, confidence, positive thinking, power of will - even thinking of it makes me feel a little better - but sometimes, if I'm under stress, it's like a harsher anxiety attack, still nothing I can't mask successfully in society. The depressive phase worsened a little, I'm thinking about commiting suicide more often, but somehow I was enlightened no to do that because I might live a future life even more miserable than my current one. So, it's under control, I don't really need medication. I believe that, if necessarily, I can even complete a complex task during a severe depressive episode. It's not very bad, at least not for me. I'm bothered by the fact that I'm more prone to anger than before - not violent though.

Still, I can't help but wondering how long will it last? I am aware it can and will get worse if left untreated, how much time do I have left? Sometimes I doubt I'm having it, and then a severe depressive episode kicks in. Can episodes be 'unconsciously triggered' by ourselves? So many questions and so much chaos going on...

[venusss]

I am aware it can and will get worse if left untreated, how much time do I have left?

Treatment doesn't mean meds only. As long as you are taking care of yourself and not being stupid, you should be fine.

[r010159]

Severe depression = debilitating to the point of being catatonic

[JoyDivision7680]

I see it differently. Depression becomes severe when someone begins to think and feel suicidal. If the will is stronger than the pain, depression becomes extremely severe to the point of psychosis and, like you said, catatonia. But of course I'm not a doctor, it's only my opinion.

One of my biggest curiosities is how severe can depression get?

[r010159]

Originally Posted by JoyDivision7680

I see it differently. Depression becomes severe when someone begins to think and feel suicidal. If the will is stronger than the pain, depression becomes extremely severe to the point of psychosis and, like you said, catatonia. But of course I'm not a doctor, it's only my opinion.

One of my biggest curiosities is how severe can depression get?

I like your perspective too.

[pawn78]

After my first major episode at 19, I went 12 years as an adult with no meds, no therapy, nothing. And I was fine.

Then I went totally insane. All it took for me was a massive series of triggers, and I went completely over the edge. But I agree, that meds aren't the answer for eveybody. My pdoc even told me that bipolar symptoms can go into regression and sometimes no meds are needed for years on end.

[lilypup]

Deep depression is below the level of suicide. It is when all you see is blackness and are frozen in place. You don't have the energy or organization to suicide.

I never get why people hate meds so much. My friend with diabetes takes insulin. Sure, its not much fun but it keeps her alive.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by lilypup

Deep depression is below the level of suicide. It is when all you see is blackness and are frozen in place. You don't have the energy or organization to suicide.

Excellent description. That's where I was three weeks ago. I couldn't even think through a suicide plan. My brain was like mud.

There are definitely ways for some people to make it med free, joy division. It's been discussed here before. I know for myself that it is not an option at this point and may never be, but many people here have built up a large toolbox of alternative coping skills and can live without medication. You may be one of those people. It all depends on how severe your symptoms get and how you can handle the severity. Does your depression reach psychosis stage? Or strong suicidal stage? If so and you have no other coping skills, meds may be the only option for now until you do have more skills. But if not, you may be able to live the med free life!

[BipolaRNurse]

I don't think people hate meds themselves so much as what they represent. Taking a handful of pills once or twice daily is an ever-present reminder that we have a chronic mental illness, even though we may feel perfectly fine, and that we have to keep taking them.....usually for life. (There are always exceptions to this rule, of course, but for the purposes of this thread, I'm talking about people like me who can't function without medications.)

Every time my alarm goes off, notifying me that it's time for meds again, I feel at least a pinprick of resentment that my life seems to revolve around these things, which I depend on to help me live in some semblance of normality. But most of the time I forget about it the instant I swallow them and go about my business, so it doesn't last long.

BTW, I feel the same way about my blood pressure and diabetes meds.

[JoyDivision7680]

@wildflowerchild25 No, it has never reached psychosis. It depends what you mean by 'strong suicidal'; I've had the desire to end it, I even made some plans. There were days when my mother would feel ill and then a part of me almost hoped she dies [I have a tendency to expect the worst when someone has some health problems] so that I can finally do it (I would not do such things with her alive because I don't want to upset her and mess up her life).
I don't really know my coping skills, it's not like there's an escape plan or a 'happy place' or anything. When it comes, I endure it quietly. It calms down eventually if I don't think about unpleasant things.

@BipolaRNurse As far as I'm concerned, it's also the meds' secondary effects. I'm somewhat afraid of those. Taking a pill everyday wouldn't be something new for me since I have a weak immune system and I often took vitamins and other meds for influenza & co.