[Mrs. Mania]

Since losing my job May 5th my life has continued on a downward spiral to hell. I lost my insurance, doc, meds, home, car and now all hope to go on. Throughout this I have dug somewhere deep inside to pull out a serving of hope daily, that I will make something happen. Pounding the pavement in 90 degree heat to apply to jobs that I would have never contemplated working a few years ago, only to be turned away. The overwhelming lack of support from the few people I have around me has taken its toll. At every turn the reply has been, "that's not gonna work, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?" Not one of these 3 have said, way to go, it must be hard to walk around town all day in the heat with no food in your stomach or cold drink on your lips, keep going, something WILL come through. Maybe they are right, nothing is gonna work. Which leaves the question...what reason is there to wait for another day to make something happen. Maybe the end of me is the only thing left to happen. My well is dry and my spirit is broken.

[wildflowerchild25]

Financial burden can be a huge stressor in life. My husband had to leave his job around the same time as you and we're in the same boat. He is having a hard time finding another job. It seems impossible right now but it's not worth taking your life over. Without insurance you can still try to be treated. If you're in the US there are sliding scale clinics that can work with you if you have no insurance and no income. There are also some meds that are pretty cheap. Last summer I was offered tegretol, which would have been only four dollars a month. It's usually the older drugs with more side effects but it could be at least something until you can get everything back on track. But don't give up. I think there are a few of us feeling the joblessness pressure right now.

[waiting4]

I know this seems a silly question, but is unemployment insurance not an option? With the new health care law, it may be easier to get meds than you think...is there a shelter in your area that might have facilities to help you with the medication issue (and home issue, as well as employment issue)?

I'm so sorry for what you are going thru...I had a similar situation that began Nov 1 of last year and only returned to work in april of this year. I wish I could offer more help but I do understand (I've been homeless and without a job before...hungry...walking cause I had no car and lived in a rural area with no public transportation...and this went on for months.

Please don't give up! I know it seems awful now, but it does get better.

[Sometimes psychotic]

I don't really know your story....but would you qualify for disability? Worst case scenario if you think you reach the end of the line and want to hurt yourself a hospital will take you in even if you can't pay....there are programs to help people who don't have homes etc but you tend to have to reach crisis point before anyone can actually help you...I'm not sure why that is but it's there if you get to that point....

[Serra27]

Just remember, it can always be worse. Everyone hates hearing that, but it can be. Someone somewhere always has it worse. But this is about you. You, you special, unique, interesting person. So difficult to describe your own self, bc it is when mentally interesting. One day at a time and focusing on that helps. Focus on today. Focus on what you have to do at this moment. The next step, the next outcome will come. Everything is always ok. Always. May not be perfect, which doesn't exist, or great even, but it will be ok. I know this all sounds cliche, but I hope it helped, even a little. You're worth more than ending your precious, unique self. Your life is worth it. It will be if you don't feel that way. It is.

[Werewoman]

You have every reason to believe that another day will make something happen because as long as you keep trying, it will. I speak from experience exactly as yours. We lost EVERYTHING. I sold my wedding band to buy a birthday gift for my teenage son at the time. Everyday you wake up hoping that today will be the day that the phone will ring and you will be able to begin to rebuild your life, and every night you go to sleep thinking that tomorrow will be better. You get up and you keep going because all you have left is the effort and the belief that some day it will get better, and guess what, it does.

I know you don't believe that, and I don't blame you. The exhaustion can be overwhelming sometimes. That's why I added to my signature the quote from Winston Churchill - If you're going through hell, keep going. - As long as you don't stop, you WILL come out on the other side.

I don't know about you, but for my family, there was no unemployment or food stamps or TANF or anything except the local food bank occasionally and the kindness of strangers. The people in our lives who were more in a position to help turned their backs on us. It was easier for them to believe that we had somehow caused our business to fail than it was to believe that sometimes bad stuff happens to good people. If they believe the latter, then that means it can happen to them, too, and I think it terrified them, not that it excuses their behavior. Amazingly, we got a lot of love and support (and food, etc.) from strangers and neighbors than the people who supposedly love us.

My husband and I both have technical backgrounds, and for almost a year, the only work we could find was at a discount department store - he as loss prevention, and me as a cashier until FINALLY, FINALLY, one day the phone finally rang with a job offer for him that he could live with. Granted, it pays a third of what we once made as business owners, but at least we can feed ourselves and keep a roof over our heads.

I still hold out hope that some day something even better will come along, but as Stephen King says, "The world has moved on since then" and we know we got left behind in the dust....and you know what? We're actually okay with that now, three years later, because we no longer play by anyone else's rules but our own. I worked in a drug store for a while so we could buy another car. We paid cash for it, royally pissing off the finance guy at the car dealership. Apparently when you pay cash, they have to file a lot of paperwork with the IRS. Boo-effing-hoo!

Everything has changed so much now, and like it or not, we have to find our own ways of survival. You will find it. Just because it's not staring you in the face right now doesn't mean it's not there, you just haven't found it yet. As long as you don't give up, it will happen for you as it did for us.

The upside to all of this? Our lives are SO much simpler now, and we spend a lot more quality time together. We don't have all that 'stuff' we used to think was so important.

I know how hard it is pounding the pavement day after day after day, but believe me, it will pay off in the end.

Bless you and I wish you the best!

WW

[Dix888]

Don't give up! This happens to many people, including people who don't have mental illness. It is very difficult but life is strange, it can improve suddenly. Apply for disability. That takes time & is frustrating but if you could get it, it would help a lot.
Know that others are going through this, too. I am SO sorry this is happening to you!!!

[sarahblue]

Have you managed to get help getting your meds yet?

How is your daughter doing?

Thinking of you.

[Mrs. Mania]

Thank you so much for all the support and advice. Friday was the worst day yet.....and now it's Sunday, which means I survived!
Bits of good news came over the weekend. I got Medicaid papers in the mail Saturday, have completed and will take in the needed documents tomorrow. Also got my daughter's school transfer request back, she gets to stay in her old school on the nice side of town even though we now live in the ghetto.(HUGE burden off my back) I have 2 solid job leads tomorrow-in my field even!
Saved the best for last........got my hands on 30, 300mg lithium tablets!!!!
Thanks again for being there!

[sarahblue]

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that things are looking up for you!

[waiting4]

I'm so happy for you, as well!!

Side note (for laughes) "Never underestimate the power of prayer.....and really good pharmaceuticals!"

Hang in there, darlin...so glad to hear things are looking up for you!!

[lilypup]

Good for you. I pray that things will continue to improve.

[pawn78]

Yay! You had us worried.

[Serra27]

Very good to hear, see, even a day can change everything around, or at least brighten things a little : ) Hang in there, hope things continue to turn around, and hope you have a good day today : )

[Skitz13]

Glad to hear you're doing better. I find that it really does all work out in the end but the hopelessness takes over and It's hard to have faith.