[notALICE]

I have not been real open about my diagnosis of BP1 outside forums or my fam. I'm sure I've said before I was diagnosed a year and a half ago. Lost my job due to extreme stress and also dealing with my other son who was suffering the same thing. Left on good enough terms though but really became really manic and dysfunctional for awhile. Got on meds, took a year to tweek. My husband supported myself and the kids. I did not feel stable enough to work, and the one time I tried I got extremely manic and so confused.

Problem is I owe child support & paid only we what we could afford for an older son out of state (18 this year) while out of work. His dad makes $150k a year, I made just over 12K even when I was working and have other children to support. Not saying it was right for me to neglect the legal order, but the children I have here and now have to eat. I got behind $2k, and they just suspended my license. I found out yesterday.

I'm in a good place now, stable and just landed a job last week. PT so I don't get overwhelmed, but enough to satisfy my payments. I need to go in to Child Support Enforcement to try to clear this up. I am *not* lazy! I love working but I was truly in no way capable for a time.

I don't want DCF to know my business, I wonder if it would do more harm than good to disclose that diagnosis. I was ill, just not in the more conventional sense.

I don't want it officially documented in the "system" for fear it would come back to bite me in the butt.

And in no way am I looking to get out of paying. I just want my license back so I can drive to my job, and get my children places they need to be.

Experience? Hope? Strength? Advice?

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by notALICE

I have not been real open about my diagnosis of BP1 outside forums or my fam. I'm sure I've said before I was diagnosed a year and a half ago. Lost my job due to extreme stress and also dealing with my other son who was suffering the same thing. Left on good enough terms though but really became really manic and dysfunctional for awhile. Got on meds, took a year to tweek. My husband supported myself and the kids. I did not feel stable enough to work, and the one time I tried I got extremely manic and so confused.

Problem is I owe child support & paid only we what we could afford for an older son out of state (18 this year) while out of work. His dad makes $150k a year, I made just over 12K even when I was working and have other children to support. Not saying it was right for me to neglect the legal order, but the children I have here and now have to eat. I got behind $2k, and they just suspended my license. I found out yesterday.

I'm in a good place now, stable and just landed a job last week. PT so I don't get overwhelmed, but enough to satisfy my payments. I need to go in to Child Support Enforcement to try to clear this up. I am *not* lazy! I love working but I was truly in no way capable for a time.

I don't want DCF to know my business, I wonder if it would do more harm than good to disclose that diagnosis. I was ill, just not in the more conventional sense.

I don't want it officially documented in the "system" for fear it would come back to bite me in the butt.

And in no way am I looking to get out of paying. I just want my license back so I can drive to my job, and get my children places they need to be.

Experience? Hope? Strength? Advice?

notALICE, you have been so helpful to me and I'd love to give back, but I don't know what DCF is, I live in Canada.

[Curiosity77]

I'm in Canada too, so i'm not familiar with DCF. But for most things you can get a generic doctor's note that just says unable to work due to medical reasons. Maybe you can do that and then you wouldn't have to disclose too much. It shouldn't matter what the illness is - if you can't work because you were ill that should be enough. Not sure if that fits for what you are talking about though.

[notALICE]

Department of Children and Families. I'd be dealing more with Child Support Enforcement but they are all entwined. Those are the agencies that have the power to take your kids out of the home if they perceive danger, neglect or abuse. I've never been violent, have help & family support if I need it, and always a loving mother. Stigma - mental illness - bad mother?

My pdoc is on vacation until August. I'm not considered disabled (that is a huge long process in and of itself, and something I've considered but told my chances are slim since I've never been admitted to the hospital) but perhaps my pdoc would be able to help. With advice at least or documentation I've been under his care.

I used to live in the states near New Brunswick

[pawn78]

They can't take your kids away just because of mental illness. They can only do that if you are abusive or dangerous to the children, or unable to care for them.

[notALICE]

Still scares the heck out of me though. I had a bad experience years ago when my son broke his leg at a licensed home day care, totally documented and they still investigated me. Harrowing experience and left a real bad taste in my mouth. I know they were doing their job but there was absolutely no question it happened at the daycare. In fact her lawyer was at my house that very evening looking for a settlement. The woman left her basement door unlocked and he was pushed down the basement steps onto a concrete floor by another child who was known as a problem child. He could have been killed, and was only two at the time. I sued the daycare because it was an accident that could have so easily been prevented. The money went to my son for college. The agony to see him suffering and the pain and embarrassment to think I would ever, ever hurt him, when I would have done anything to take his pain for myself. There is almost nothing worse than to see your child sick or suffering and not be able to take it away, besides losing a child. Been through both