big dummy

the dummy is me. I still did not believe my dx, I thought my work stress was just that stress....a year and a half of meds and no change so that was not really bp because nothing changed..then using cbt and mindfulness I drove the stress away till it was completely gone and all was good,.. never mind a change from depakote to lamictal during that time..I never even considered the stress as a bp symptom nor the fear and paranoia i had.. guess what, the racing thoughts the anxiety the irratibility has come back with a vengence and I am on the heaviest dose I have ever been on.. I believe I just cycled in and out and completely fooled myself,, does this ring a bell with anyone..a true believer now!

Completely. I talk myself out of my dx all the time. No, I was just stressed out. It was med induced. It was just a phase. A freak occurrence. Then I go off meds. Then I get in trouble because, of course, the condition is real.

It took a true non med induced psychotic break to get me to see the seriousness of this. I'm still not stable and feeling like I never will be, but at least it's better than before.

But I don't think you're a dummy. Bipolar is a tough thing to accept. You're not dumb for struggling with it.

I wonder if it's just stress, or my wild imagination, or if I'm just a bad person, all the time.

Ya I've denied it many times but it just keeps coming back and bits me in the but. I guess I'm a believer now. Until my next bout of stability and then I'll be discouraged all over again.

You are not a dummy! Just stubborn in your beliefs.