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#1
Jul 24, 2014, 09:14 AM
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i feel so tired and out of control.
it's like i have to hurt the outside or hurt the inside. kill them or kill me, that's the choice i feel like lashing out at things and people, running into the road sometimes I get visions like cutting myself and my other hand holding the knife., are they hallucination or images i make up? I am also dealing with eating disorder i wan to never wake up so i dun hv to think about hurting people or food i haven't been taking med. my dr thought i am such a good girl. my mu m found out yesterday i hid my night med by searching me. she said no one can help me. I know. i chose not to take them so she is right. i can never be helped. i should die. i asked her to kill me several times but she said she will end up in jail. :'( eveery night it gets worse. i cause it upon myself
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Bipolar, BPD, ED increasing med right now: a downhill slope Seroquel 200mg Epilim 300mg Olanzapine 5mg Amisulpride 50mg (just started trying this) Clonazepam 1.5mg Ativan 1mg (PRN) Zopiclone (Imovane) 10mg In psychosis and struggling worse with ED I skip med because I would rather be psychotic than living in the real sucky world Who can understand?... Updates and mental health discussion on my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/dreammyrainbow Last edited by sabby; Jul 24, 2014 at 10:59 PM. Reason: added trigger icon/administrative edit to bring within guidelines |
 bleutamales, Curiosity77, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
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#2
Jul 24, 2014, 10:56 AM
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Optimistic dolphin please call your doctor. It sounds like you are having a psychotic break. You need to get help so please call.
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Sometimes you gotta go in-sane to out-sane the sane - Mordecai |
 cashart10, Curiosity77
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#3
Jul 24, 2014, 11:01 AM
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I understand how you are feeling and I am so sorry! I would definitely recommend taking your medicine so you can possibly start to feel better. I'm sorry about your mom, what a terrible thing for her to say to you!
Do you see these visions like you would see something physical, outside of your head? If so, these visions are hallucinations (which is less likely)? Do you see them in your head? If so, they are intrusive thoughts. These thoughts are very scary. I get them also when very manic or very depressed. I'm sorry you have so many struggles. I hope it gets easier for you!
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#4
Jul 24, 2014, 11:02 AM
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Take bleutamales advice!
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Curiosity77
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#5
Jul 24, 2014, 04:30 PM
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Please contact your Pdoc. They can help you feel better .
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Curiosity77
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