[danseur]

Hey everyone, I'm new. Freshly diagnosed last August with BD II. I crashed into the most awful depression I'd experienced in years after a 4 month long hypomanic fun-fest. With spring coming in, and me going off my meds (I know, I know). I've started to go hypomanic again (at least half the reason I've joined this forum), and you know what? It feels GREAT!! Especially after 5 months of emotional hell. I really really don't want to cut off the creative juices that are flowing through me right now, but I have finally, though reluctantly, set up an appointment with my shrink to get a new prescription so that I don't go completely off the deep end.

Anyway, for those of you with BDII who don't go full manic, I just.. hmm.. I wanna bargain with the devil here. Can't I just stay off anything for the spring and then monitor my moods periodically (keep a mood journal, I don't know) and then ONLY deal with medicine when I start to experience mixed-states and depression??

This is rhetorical, I know I can't %#@&#! do that. But GOD I wish I could!!! It's just so %#@&#! seductive... My non-Bipolar friends and lover just don't understand what I'm struggling with here... I think in alliteration and I've rearranged my entire house.. then there's the music, the art, the poetry.. all the things I left unfinished when I started crashing and forgot I loved while depressed...

Ok, so I know I probably don't need to explain this whole crazy pressured speech thing I'm clearly displaying in creating this post... it's the oddest thing to have insight into your own craziness and yet have no control over it.

Alright... I guess I'm mostly venting here.. It's good to have found a place where other people can relate to what I'm yapping on about.

Hello,
Goodbye

-danseur

[undertheradar]

You just described me better than I can describe myself. You are in good company my friend. Welcome to PC.

[LM78]

OMG. I never knew that other people have the same thoughts that I have. Nice to meet all of you.