[pawn78]

I don't even know what this topic is about exactly. I just feel the need to express my extreme moods to some peeps that can relate.

My life is crazy lately. My wife and I are on the verge of a breakup, but then in the middle of a day of conflict, we had steamy, hot, earth-shaking manic sex!!! Really really good sex. Then a few minutes later we were back to arguing!? WTF?

Also, I have a mistress on the side, and she's playing head games with me,,, all this **** is so intense... But the weird part: I LOVE IT!!! I want to FEEL LIFE FULLY, and holy cow...,I AM!

I feel good.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by pawn78

I don't even know what this topic is about exactly. I just feel the need to express my extreme moods to some peeps that can relate.

My life is crazy lately. My wife and I are on the verge of a breakup, but then in the middle of a day of conflict, we had steamy, hot, earth-shaking manic sex!!! Really really good sex. Then a few minutes later we were back to arguing!? WTF?

Also, I have a mistress on the side, and she's playing head games with me,,, all this **** is so intense... But the weird part: I LOVE IT!!! I want to FEEL LIFE FULLY, and holy cow...,I AM!

I feel good.

Well pawn, I sure would like to live in your world for just one day. Sounds pretty exciting to me.

Your WTF is that you're dealing with women and I don't think you know your place within this circle at this point. Do you have a therapist. I think you need to talk to a professional about what's going on in your life.

This is just my opinion but I fear this is all going to blow up in your face. I'm just someone who is trying to be objective looking in.

Good luck with this

[pawn78]

It's already exploded like an atom bomb in my face. :P
That is the crazy part. It's already way past that point, and I love the fireworks!!!

Life is drama, drama is life.

[TheatreKid]

Sounds like a rush. I hope things continue to be good. How does your cycle usually end?

[pawn78]

Yeah, I am calling my Pdoc/therapist this week. I need to talk to him about the wimmenz, and I might need him to prescribe me some sleeping meds... Good advice Skitz.

[Silent Void]

shakes head

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

Sounds like a rush. I hope things continue to be good. How does your cycle usually end?

I don't know. My "cycles" don't really have any rhyme or reason. I don't even recognize my moods as cycles. I am just an extreme person.

[Tucson]

That's like burning a firecracker at both ends. It quickly explodes in your face. Still, if this works for you, then right now you should be doing fine. I hope the positive aspects of this continues for you.

[pawn78]

I'm doing fine. I'm stable, I'm working, I take care of my kids. My marriage has been rocky for several years, and recently got worse.

My only "problem" is lack of sleep. As far as "blowing up in my face"... It already has. What is the worst that can happen? I get divorced. That was coming anyway.

Thanks for the responses so quickly. I REALLy appreciate you guys listening.

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by Silent Void

shakes head

Nods head

[pawn78]

Well, I'm finally breaking down my resistance to call my Pdoc. I've been feeling so good the last time I saw him and also for the last several weeks since.
I wasn't supposed to see him again until September , since I have been so stable and happy.
The lack of sleep this week and extreme intimacy drama this week is the final straw. I am going to get some pro-help.
I need to sleep better, and melatonin/GABA isn't cutting it.

Time to face the music. Mania is accelerating. Thanks all!

[pawn78]

The weird thing about this "episode" is that I am stable. No delusions, no irrational behavior, no agitation nor any overwhelming electrical energy like in a typical manic episode.
Maybe it is the Lamictal doing it's job. My Pdoc thinks the Lamictal is an amazing mood stabilizer for me.

I am not all wired either. I live chill out music. I must have listened to this track 20 times in the lady couple of days.... So chill...(you'll need a real stereo system with a subwoofer to really hear the deep, melodic bass tones in this one, just so beautiful and chill, also, this YouTube video has an amazing video if the aurora borealis, the northern lights)

[rollacoasta]

Good on you for chatting about whats going on for you atm...

I'm thinking I want some of that rush but then I don't at the same time...

I usually tell concerned people to get lost when I feel like this, are you really productive?

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by pawn78

Nods head

lmao, sorry...too funny

[pawn78]

I finally got good sleep!!! Yay!

While I was typing this topic last night, I took melatonin, and drank 3 beers. Also, I think the mind-blowing sex helped.

I slept like a baby for 6 hours, I would have slept like 2 or 3 more hours, but my daughters decided to wake be up at dawn as usual! Lol

Doing well. The wife had a sparkle in her eye this morning. It will be a good day.

[pawn78]

Sorry for posting all this self-absorbed drama here on the forum. I just needed to vent it out last night.

[TheatreKid]

No worries here. Everyone needs to vent.

[pawn78]

I know many of you were a bit worried about my mania these last few weeks. (Not sleeping, crazy love life, etc.)
Positive update:
1) things have calmed down on the romantic front. The two women I love are still close to me, but things have settled down somewhat, though I wouldn't say they are completely resolved. At least it is no longer chaos!
2) I called my Pdoc Sunday, and he gave me the ok to bump my Lamictal to 300 mg, to stabilize my mood properly.
3)since resolving complex love-life, and increasing Lamictal dose, I am sleeping normal again and my energy levels are back to normal... Mood is stabilized, mania is in check.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by pawn78

I know many of you were a bit worried about my mania these last few weeks. (Not sleeping, crazy love life, etc.)
Positive update:
1) things have calmed down on the romantic front. The two women I love are still close to me, but things have settled down somewhat, though I wouldn't say they are completely resolved. At least it is no longer chaos!
2) I called my Pdoc Sunday, and he gave me the ok to bump my Lamictal to 300 mg, to stabilize my mood properly.
3)since resolving complex love-life, and increasing Lamictal dose, I am sleeping normal again and my energy levels are back to normal... Mood is stabilized, mania is in check.

Great, glad to hear it, pawn, I was a little concerned, I have to admit

[Love&Toil]

I'm a bit disappointed that the drama is over. JOKING!!!! :rotflmao:

Glad to hear things have leveled out a bit Pawn78.

[pawn78]

The drama is never over!!! I'm just more stable now. Maybe I'll stop sleeping around, working 80 hours/week and stabbing intruding raccoons.

But yeah, always love a little drama.