[Road_to_recovery]

I still don't know for sure if I belong on this board but until I get a definite diagnosis I am going to stick around. I'm just wondering if anyone else gets to the point that they feel almost totally out of control and like your surroundings aren't real?

I don't know why I feel so crazy, normally when I get a good amount of sleep I feel clear headed. But I'm shaking like crazy. A part of my brain is screaming at me that my husband is cheating, while a tiny voice of reason that says he isn't like that is getting suffocated. I feel like pulling my hair out and drinking till I'm numb

My mom is out of town for a couple weeks. I feel like I'm reliant on her to keep me grounded. My daughter is starting with my inlaws for a week. I feel bad about sending her off but I just don't think I can handle being a mom without my mom here to help. I hate myself for being such a pathetic wife and mother. I've been somewhat alienating myself from my husband because I just can't shake the belief that he's straying. I want to ask but I know that I will just seem crazy and possibly hurt or relationship more. I don't know. I feel very alone.

I made an appointment with one if my former therapists and hopefully she will get me set up with someone that can help with my meds and a diagnosis. I don't know what I'm accomplishing by typing this. I guess just hoping someone can help talk me out of the crazy thoughts I'm having

[Road_to_recovery]

Lots of spelling errors, I'm sorry

[LastQuestion]

I would recommend trying some meditation. Just lie down some place comfortable and relatively quiet, close your eyes, take long deep breaths, slowly exhale, let your thoughts fade and then wander or focus on a neutral topic.